shell :) > Recent Status Updates

damn this book really click-baited me lol it went from lutheran christian to queer in like a few pages 😭🙏

something tells me this is a liiiiiiitle bit innacurate to 1830’s prussia but i’ll overlook it for the plot i guess

damn that plot twist was crazy, i hope this incredibly niche author gets some recognition for this book

ok so apparently this is the fourth in a series, watch me cry as i didn’t know this until like 10 seconds ago

also i had no idea agatha christie was mega famous i just liked the book cover 💀

ok that part of the book was actually really great, moving from a 2.5 to a 3.5 - why couldn’t it have been this good earlier though 😭

yikes that escalated veeeery quickly

yay the plot is finally becoming interesting

ok so why did the last third of this book turn out to be good, adding 1.5 stars because the rest was still unreadable :D

my worst enemy has entered the ring: smut 🙂‍↔️

my biggest pet peeve is when authors overcrowd their prose with useless and incomprehensible descriptions. actually am starting to full on hate this book lol

i actually don’t know if i can handle this dialogue for much longer: “put that machine away. we are lunching” like tf 😭

describing sesame street as “deformed monstrosities against the will of god” is WILD

i can already tell this book is gonna be so bad that it’s good 😂

please fitz why didn’t you get regal to build a statue in your honour i would have died laughing

i seriously can’t get over how funny fitz’s internal monologue is

his newest epiphany: “i was suddenly determined that i was going to start making everyone behave as they should.” SERIOUSLY WHAT GROWN MAN THINKS THIS HES SUCH A MANCHILD AND I LOVE IT

ngl i love reading about characters going insane especially when it’s my guy fitz (hobb’s prose is absolutely beautiful idk how she does it)

dude making fitz relive his torture by forcing him to describe it in detail is not cool 👎

fitz over here with his prison review series: ‘damn guys this is the best one i’ve stayed in so far 10/10’

SORRY BUT THIS SCENE IS TOO PERFECT I LOVE NIGHTEYES SO MUCH (their dynamic is summarised by this line from nighteyes: “the things i endure for you”)

how can fitz be both a scarred and tortured individual and yet have this inner monologue 😭

“i would kill regal. it only seemed fair. he had killed me first.”

bro’s actions don’t prove chade wrong lmfao he really has a child’s brain up there

aight fitz time to read over 600 pages of you being a dumbass AGAIN (and ofc the crazy fantasy stuff that goes down - lowkey my fav book out of this trilogy)

will comin in with the freddy fazbear jumpscare over here

(jokes aside i was terrified when i first read this scene omg)

here be where everything goeth to shit for fitz and everyone in buckeep (specifically fitz though)

chade spouting wisdom that i think everyone needs to hear:

“one simply does not go about killing for convenience. it’s wrong. it’s called murder, boy.”

ok everyone i know it’s shocking advice but trust me i think he’s onto something

okay I get that regal just said the most horrible abhorrent stuff to fitz but i love how verity is described as “being capable of fratricide” im dead💀💀

my hate for regal fully cemented in this scene when i first read the book (i remember thinking ‘damn he needs to die like asap’)

NIGHTEYES LETS GOOOO

great 68 pages in and I’m already trying not to cry thank you hobb really appreciate it

time to read the book where fitz is just really stupid for most of the time and then goes crazy, gets tortured and becomes even more scarred for life 🙂‍↕️

goodbye, cob 👋

BURRICH YOU LEGEND THAT SCENE WAS SO FUN TO READ

(he beat up fitz’s beater uperer)

yeahhhh first fitz psychological torment scene which completely cripples his self esteem for life !! !!

(i am not ok my boy does not deserve this)

bro the fool’s first actual words to fitz being ‘listen to me you idiot’ has to be the funniest thing i’ve read and basically sets up their dynamic for the rest of the series lmao