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Falling short of my expectations

Crying. So well written. “But my daughter's death was no joke, no lie, and it has smothered my head deep under a whiteness impenetrable as ash. It is the reality of this unbearable sorrow, looming over me like a silently building snowdrift, higher and higher with each passing day, that has finally made me a mother.”

Okay WLW

I've only just started the book, so I'm not yet familiar with its overall structure, but the scaffolding of the setting is excellent. The Hadlow household introduces tension that Dave faces between class and race, where he silently to navigate his “otherness.”

Giles' conflict between abusing and being attracted to Dave creates room for the development of Dave's interpersonal relationships throughout the story.

Was not a fan of the writing style, rendering readers to feel like they are watching a wildlife documentary on millennials. Although the book is realistic, it had little substance to the storyline.

Anna & Tom were isolated from the beginning of high-school to the end, and the onus is on them. Their lifestyle isn’t conducive towards personal growth, as they would rather cycle through timelines, cities, and clients.

"The whole apparatus of capitalism and its advertising aims precisely at this: to create artificial needs, to multiply desires, and to keep men in a state of chronic and unsatisfied want, so that they will keep the machines of production going." Merton

Anna & Tom continue to find fulfillment in displacement and finances, but fail to really live. The book instills a sense of existential dread.

Pg 36 states “Anna and Tom had been welcomed with an almost suspicious level of interest and openness, proof of a loneliness everyone was trying to exorcize…There was the odd sudden, unprovoked defection, but never any fully fledged rifts—they weren't close enough to warrant actually hurting each other.”

There is no direction in their lives—they live for the next paycheck, club, and repeat each work week

They have stark social settings between home town friends and expats met in Germany, but both realms of friendship are dependent on validation through social media

They have stark social settings between home town friends and expats met in Germany, but both realms of friendship are dependent on validation through social media

Early on, the book explains that as Anna and Tom did not feel recognized by their peers and further more, didn’t have the opportunity to portray themselves as desire. Pg 24

Their difficulties dwell in lack of meaning ranging from only scraping the surface of Berlin’s streets and history to reducing their teenage passion to just a freelance job. Pg 25

So far, not so good

“The sole consequence of his dream is that he knows today that he’s not living in Paradise like he thought he was last night but in a fallen world and if he had a computer he’d probably be watching porn and jacking off right now”

Throughout the book, it is evident that his addiction stems from isolation and lack of human connection.

“When society turns children into consumers and sexualizes products to sell to them, children begin to be seen, and to see themselves, as sexual objects, left powerless at the bottom of the social hierarchy.”

Banks demonstrates how capitalism and eroticization work together as systems of exploitation throughout the novel. And he pushes me to better understand how victims are groomed into perpetrators.

Some aspects of the professor are underdeveloped. Fat and intellectual feels a bit cliché.

Started reading since my job, Praise Shadows Gallery, is named after a quote from Tanizaki’s text.

The writing style is intimate and captivating. Favorite quote so far is “Eventually he stopped talking to the iguana altogether because he came to enjoy and trust the silence between them as if the two of them were buddies in an old-time silent movie.”