Jonathan Orme > Recent Status Updates

A second dwarf has hit the towers

Ah, see, C.S. Lewis didn't know that who you are attracted to depends on your Major Histocompatibility Complex Class II

Why is Clive dragging this random lady?

Really? You're remembering Marathon and Waterloo right in front of my Alamo?

Well he said so much about drinking water, I suppose it was inevitable.

I mean I can't deny the skill of the narrator, but how am I supposed to listen to this lol

I'd definitely be in the dreaming-about-savory-food camp if I was marooned on a desolate antarctic island, not sweet.

My favorite lunch, a frozen can of broth. A brothsicle, if you will.

"She went today...I cannot write about it." -Ernest Shackleton, 21 November 1915, on the sinking of Endurance

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't

Philemon, yeah! Philemon YEAH! *clapclap clapclap*

I'm glad the Admiralty has seen sense since 1845 and is including dogs for the sledges on polar expeditions. Why on earth would you want to pull the sledge yourself? Plus, dog = morale.

Ah, Tiffany is missing some important thermodynamic knowledge. She could dump almost seven times as much heat into a bucket of water by letting it boil away completely than she can by just warming a new bucket from room temp to boiling.

Hold on, is Oliver Cromwell canon in Discworld? Or in the fairy land the Pictsies come from?

SHE'S BACK

My only regret was... having boneitis... 😵

Hi dad I killed your little brother and pinned it on your sister's best friend, now make me a wife please

I'm just gonna say it: I don't think freezing the pickled onions before baking them in the pie will keep them crispy. If anything it will make them mushier because the ice crystals pierce the cell walls of the onion. Has Terry Pratchett ever tried to eat a defrosted strawberry before?

"What did this mean? Who was I? What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination? Whence did I come, Joseph with eyes of cotton?"

Chemists be like, "This monster's unearthly ugliness renders it almost too horrible for the human eyes!" My brother in Christ, you made the monster!

This is normally my favorite Discworld narrator, but my word these are some aggravating character voices. Except for Nutt, he's a perfect adorable cinnamon roll.

Oh man I am getting The Last Man flashbacks. Girl, you need antibiotics for strep throat!

When has the historian ever finished the translation BEFORE the plot reveals the meaning anyway?

Somebody get these BEGGARS out of here!

I have yet to hear a good reason they shouldn't just fill the Ice Tube with concrete. Maybe it won't cure quickly enough? Or the glass containers are too fragile to handle the weight of the wet concrete? What about expanding polyurethane foam? I feel like there are easier solutions than diverting a volcano.

Despite constantly claiming that they won't be able to do this whole thing without Mac, the military really keep pulling him away from his work to show instead of tell him about problems he can't do anything about.

Oh, Rachel got FIRED from her day job.

Volcano-chasers? Please, ANYONE can do that. They only move like four inches per year!

How many of life's problems can we blame on the Senate Appropriations committee?