Esmé > Recent Status Updates

me when im about to have a millionaires cheesecake pot: "I will eat you, Gu."

"pour one out for my boy, roy. he died doing what he loved (being eaten alive and straight up jerkin it)"

this is high art im having such a wonderful time

"You will become like a God after the end. You will lead my species to its oblivion." And I said, "haha cool."

this shit rips so hard

finally some good fucking food. Goth GF what a fuckin story. the shadow over little chitaly what a story. "you can suck my big clitaly" fuckin poetry

I really cant figure out if I like this or not

the dragon baby carrier is making up for a lot of the bullshit I just had to read. not enough to make me forget that one of these fucking dragons is called sgaeyl. fantasy authors will do stupid things for a scale pun

fucking finally got her nut off !!!! hallelujah God bless !!!! although it was more funny than sexy I couldnt help but laughing every time she came and blew something up lmaooooooo

how am I this far through and they haven't shagged yet. this was sold to me as the dragon smut book and so far we've only had offscreen dragon snagging. I feel so cheated

okay slay another minority side character! we love seeing deaf characters in fantasy settings

we had lesbians and now we have a non binary character! I wish this book was about them <3 hope they don't die

I simply have to cringe every time this fuckass man calls her violence

I think this is bad? I cant tell?

love this convenient exposition. ok I need to keep calm so id better recite The Lore, Geography, Etymology and Sociology of my Kingdom

I think i know exactly where this is going but im having a grand old time

lesbians???????? lesbians and lattes??????????

lets go big huge cat representation !!! my son feels so seen

support your local library!!! free audiobooks!!! im having the time of my life!!!

HARVEY NO

some gut punching one-liners in this. obsessed with this narratorial style so far

reading this in the bath for full immersion (pun intended)

genuinely so fucking scary i hate it (i love it but I might have to take a Break before I actually have a panic attack lmaoooo)

thalassophobia coming in real hot

sorry karina (therapist) ! romance book boring. I need to feel a profound and inescapable sense of dread

my therapist said maybe I should consume less horror media lmao so this is my attempt at a Light Hearted Festive Read!

really struggling to connect with this. I get the whole cognitive hazard idea but we're really just avoiding the horror to hear this woman think real hard about her fanfic dramas and I Just Dont Care. something eldritch and spooky is happening directly at the same time that I had to read the sentence "I'll ship it twice as hard with more blowjobs"
banging my head against a wall rn dhmu

"let's think about this logically."
"i'd like to panic for a minute if it's all the same to you!"
simon is so fuckin real

uncle earl I adore you

I hate it when a bitch lets out a breath they didn't know they were holding. if I have to read that phrase one more time im gonna mcfreakin lose it

this bitch wearing a cream top and a white skirt? imagine living with no fear like that

I lowkey know im not gonna enjoy this lmao im just the bitch who has to read the book before watching the film. but i don't think im gonna like it and so im not gonna watch the film lol