Esmé > Recent Status Updates

started my period, cried at work, feeling like shit. the only thing that can fix me is a hill house reread. not even a page in and i feel better already. i do need another edition (no i dont) with a less boring cover and no quote from neil gaiman on the back but we move.
god what an opening. i love this book so much. joy and comfort are possible if u welcome shirely jackson into ur heart

"girls that do improv are cool. guys that do improv are ... the opposite of that" unfortunately queen u are incorrect and anyone who does improv is highkey lame. this also goes for nb improvisors im so sorry yall. improv is lame by nature

even the content warning page is iconic. next page, a title page for part one, huge letters in all caps: "ALL DADS ARE MOTHERFUCKERS" yeah im so sat

theydies and gentlethem, he did, in fact, put a soft boiled egg in her ass, but that was many pages ago and is truly one of the least crazy things that has happened

how is it possible that on top of all the crazy shit going on, this is also somehow lowkey a hockey romance

this book is CRAZY is he going to put a SOFT BOILED EGG in her ASS????.?

is grandma really hitting us with the "inside you are two wolves" rn

this is multitasking on another level. my girl is watching 2 different videos (one gay porn and the other a wolf hunting a rabbit), listening to Billie holiday, catfishing a racist woman and exposing her on reddit, AND straight up jackin it. what the helly

I think we've only met one hetero vampire so far and even then there's bisexual benefit of the doubt. ms schwab you are correct all vampires are gay

this is such a slay I cant believe I waited this long to read this

im enjoying this but goddamn does scifi make me feel thick as pig shit

"despite the electric shocks, despite the cocaine prescribed each week by dr yealland, despite the curtained room kept free of light and sound, Rupert's mind tore itself apart"
lmao yeah I wonder why the cocaine and total isolation didn't much help this guys ptsd

okay so yeah this is exquisitely written and im highlighting it as i go but ettie should be a lesbian and that's all I have to say on the matter. dont tease this hetero bullshit w Joseph that girl is sapphic and I wont hear otherwise

me when im about to have a millionaires cheesecake pot: "I will eat you, Gu."

"pour one out for my boy, roy. he died doing what he loved (being eaten alive and straight up jerkin it)"

this is high art im having such a wonderful time

"You will become like a God after the end. You will lead my species to its oblivion." And I said, "haha cool."

this shit rips so hard

finally some good fucking food. Goth GF what a fuckin story. the shadow over little chitaly what a story. "you can suck my big clitaly" fuckin poetry

I really cant figure out if I like this or not

the dragon baby carrier is making up for a lot of the bullshit I just had to read. not enough to make me forget that one of these fucking dragons is called sgaeyl. fantasy authors will do stupid things for a scale pun

fucking finally got her nut off !!!! hallelujah God bless !!!! although it was more funny than sexy I couldnt help but laughing every time she came and blew something up lmaooooooo

how am I this far through and they haven't shagged yet. this was sold to me as the dragon smut book and so far we've only had offscreen dragon snagging. I feel so cheated

okay slay another minority side character! we love seeing deaf characters in fantasy settings

we had lesbians and now we have a non binary character! I wish this book was about them <3 hope they don't die

I simply have to cringe every time this fuckass man calls her violence

I think this is bad? I cant tell?

love this convenient exposition. ok I need to keep calm so id better recite The Lore, Geography, Etymology and Sociology of my Kingdom

I think i know exactly where this is going but im having a grand old time

lesbians???????? lesbians and lattes??????????

lets go big huge cat representation !!! my son feels so seen