Vi > Recent Status Updates

So we have our Alice I guess

Every time this fucker says 'fair point well made' I want to slap him. Truth be told I'd like to slap him for a variety of other things as well.

Does she have some kind of eating disorder? Like why is she constantly so staunchly against eating when she makes it clear she hasn't eaten all day.

So, you thought that she was saying no no discussion at all and thus showed up to fuck her into submission?

Why do we keep going on about how his pants are 'hanging from his hips' like this is the fourth or fifth time she's mentioned that. Where else are pants supposed to hang?

Ana are you one hundred percent sure you're not just asexual?

He went hiking with Emmet...err Elliot. To hunt bears. No wait. Just hiking.

Comparing him to a small boy while being giddy about him wanting to bite your lip is pretty telling about you Ana.

Oh, so this is the fanfic nonvampire version of almost being hit by a car?

Oh so we're now doing the there is only one bed thing

God Guinevere you are like dumb dumb

Beware the povos, Gwen!

Jacob spitting facts. Fuck Rhen

What would Rhen do? I dunno man based on his current reactions and instructions apparently brutalize children and innocents until he gets what he wants. Not sure if you should be continuing to use him as a role model

I can already tell your romance will likely bore me

Ah so Rhen is a dick bag

Seriously is there a reason you're not just telling him that?

I don't know. You're a little stupid.

Was it harsh? Yes. Am I really going to fault her for it when at the end of the day it was probably the most practical thing to do? No.

How could you have been so stupid? I don't know maybe because you spent the entire book fucking your fae instead of actually trying to solve this whole problem.

Right, they mean something to her which means you shouldn't just leave them all to die you obnoxious fuck

Oooh he considers it a 'debt' that you won't let him kill an innocent person. How sexy.

So are we going to get to the actual plot or is this just going to be a lot of sex adjacent with a guy whose level of possessiveness would make Edward Cullen uncomfortable?

Ooooh that's a fun twist

Oh my god you're being such a brat

Yeah I was wondering if there were going to be consequences for boinking in public

Don't you dare

Look if he wants to try to psychologically torture you with the prospect of having spectators for the consummation of your marriage just psychologically fuck with him right back. I'd be if you want all the nobility to know you're a disappointment sexually far be it from me to try and stop you.

Booooo I wanted him dead

I see some of the trying to be witty or quirky dialogue starting to leak back in again.