Carlo > Recent Status Updates

Oop, that's so cringeee... poor girls

FUCK YEAH!! (literally)

"[...] if she murders me, you can say 'I told you so' to my corpse."

God, how I love Bishop Beartongue!! Lovely woman, 10/10! Also WELCOME BACK MARGUERITE AHHHHH

IT'S GOING DOWN, I'M YELLING TIMBERRRRR

Good luck, have funnnn

I can't with the racism in this book...
But hey, good job, Bella, for learning how to control your "shield". Super normal to use your kid as bait...
Anyway, I really hope the Volturi get rid of Bella, Eddy and Jakey Boy cuz omg y'all are insufferable! Ofc that won't happen, but alas, a girl can dream

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually enjoying this dumpster fire!

Of course, Bella has everything under control, what else would anyone expect... but her lashing out at Jakey Boy was too fucking funny. First and only reasonable reaction she's ever had in the entire series lmao

Anyway, let's see how long it'll take Renesmee to be mature enough to talk. Surely just a few days more...

Nawww, Jakey Boy is an ALPHA now? He finally decided to step into his inheritance?? Such a baby, but at least he finally got a backbone! Only took his nemesis offering his wife to him and for her to reject him... AGAIN...

On the other hand, I despise Edward more than ever. Trying to force Bella to have an abortion and then sell her off to the guy she has rejected MULTIPLE TIMES and who also SEXUALLY HARASSED HER???

Whyyy are we suddenly changing POVs?? I really don't wanna find out about the baby from Jakey Boy's eyes... I thought it would be a bumpy (hehe) ride, but this is a whole fucking roller coaster that I most certainly did not ask for! :/

Right, so sex before marriage is the worst sin, but abortion is ok??? PICK YOUR POISON, MEYER! (I am both in support of sex before marriage and having the right to choose, just wanna put that out here)

At least Bella finally got what she wanted ig? That stony, marble, super cold and yet silky smooth cock... yay...

Oh hey, page 18, just like Bella's old age... WHY TF ARE THERE OVER 750 PAGES IN THIS BOOK??? I'm fine, it's fine, everything will be fineeeee.
Also sureee of fucking course Renée thinks marriage is a good idea for her "middle-aged-child". I'm not even 20 pages in and have already read way too many times about how "old" Bella is. SHE'S BARELY AN ADULT. MARRYING A 100 Y/O UGLY ASS VAMPIRE. Ah no, sorry, he's "perfect"

AHHHH YOU SURVIVEDDDD!!!!

Omgggg ominous chambers and Piper knows that that's where the men died?? Excitinggggg

Good job you guys!!! Now smooch!

Ouhh Berserker vs. Beast?!! Also please just talk to each other... I know it makes sense not to trust everyone from the get-go, but plssss you both have holy mental stuff going on so just connectttt

Poor Clara, poor Istvhan :/

Ohhh, I already like Clara! And Istvhan is such a cutie patootie

Nearly done, I can't wait!! Also fuck you Jacob, you deserved all that pain of those broken bones and more!!!

Lmaooo camping with Eddy and Jakey boy, and they're having a heart-to-heart conversation. You both still suck, but at least you're currently cooperating, yayyy

Yayyy, everyone is working together now!! If anything goes awry, then this is where the book ended for me. And since probably everything will go wrong, I will try to this one peaceful meeting in mind to get me through the rest of this series...

Right... so we're just glossing over assault now?? And Charlie aka the supposed parental figure who takes care of his kid, IS FUCKING CONGRATULATING THE ASSAILANT???
Fuck you Stephenie Meyer for including so many fucked up things in your book and then just ignoring them.
Also, Edward, I know you suddenly turned into the better option again, but Bella is NOT your property! "If you bring her back damaged again"...

More backstories, yippieee

Ouhhh werewolf history, finally something in this series that I genuinely enjoyed!!

Pls pls let Eddy and Jakey boy stay as calm and collected as they are right now....

Oh wow, Edward and Jacob finally realised that being civil might actually help everyone involved?? I'm impressed. Can't wait for the impending breach of the treaty where they go back to fighting, or maybe all it'll need is more jealousy over Bella...🤡🤡

Fun times...

Wtf. Bella has to "sneak out" to see her fucking friends now?? ESPECIALLY THE DUDE WHO SAVED HER FUCKING LIFE?

Also wtf Alice. I liked you the most by far, and now you help Edward with his sick and obsessive controlling of Bella and have "sleepovers" (forced and against Bella's will, might I add) until he's back from hunting??? Why is there so much left of this book?

At least I got Rosalie's backstory, yay...

Fucking bitch... Jacob basically saved Bella's life MULTIPLE TIMES but sure, he's the dangerous one. Sure, bro, just isolate her from every single one of her friends, no big deal. Sure, her dad can't ground her, but you can forbid her from going somewhere... fucking bitch ass ratty little vampire

Guess who's back... yippieee

PIPER MENTIONED AHHHH!! I'm so glad I got book 1 (and 2) after accidentally starting book 3 first

Hehehe this is so cuteee

I love puns! Also, this might sound weird, but having one of the two MCs be really smell sentitive/ adept? Fucking amazing!!

JUST TAKE HIM ALREADY. MY BOY IS YEARNING FOR YOU, YOU'RE YEARNING FOR HIM, WHY BAR YOURSELF FROM THAT EXPERIENCE???