Alex Schlueter > Recent Status Updates

intewesting

this book blows chunks. i don’t know what it is but i think books from this generation are just written so poorly. its a lot like going all the way that i read last year in that it just plods along really going no where.

so many bad things are happening because we’re relying on a 5 year old for really important information here

POV: you blew your brains out in room 300 at an undisclosed time in the past 😵

we did it! we read the chapter that starts with stephen king describing the fluidity of semen after having sex with your husband! other than that i’ve been wondering why i’ve never read ole stephen before (because i’m illiterate)

wanted to read up to one of the craziest chapter openers that i know exist. did not get there. tomorrow is another day

basically living in 2025. AI is threatening jobs, having a degree in an art means having no real job, everything is sacrificed for progress and money. bang job first novel kurt

everyone thinks jane’s just some little bitch.

after bouncing around villages and getting the shit beat out of him by random villagers and nazi officers lil bro (our protagonist) ends up under the “care” of garbos and his dog judas. lil bro drops the missal during mass and everyone calls him a gypsy vampire and toss him into the shit fields and he runs away with no voice. thousands of days of indulgence coming though 🗣️

just witnessed probably one of the most brutal scenes of my life, starting with molestation then gang rape and then a group of women holding down stupid ludmilla (actual name) and shove a bottle of manure up her you know what and kicking it until it broke and then kicking her until she died. fucking insane

rip squirrel from chapter 1

rip the old man. chance is on the up after getting hit by a car

joan of arc was a hermaphrodite according to the biggest piece of shit in the world, dan gregory (gregorian). just finished a long section on gregorians rant about how women belong in the kitchen.

who gives a damn! sorry for the outburst.

darcy and elizabeth are both like 🫦. but while they’re flirting little by little lydia runs away and plans on eloping with dickhead wickham! had to put a pause on the romance to solve the domestic problem of the dumbass younger sister

Darcy proposes, gets denied, then drops a diss track. the diss track is currently under review by elizabeth and jane

the run down in short. five sisters, only two of them really matter, jane and elizabeth. their dads money can only go to the next male heir so they have to marry some guy. bloke named bingley moves in, bang guy for jane. he’s got a dickhead buddy named darcy who likes elizabeth. elizabeth likes darcy’s dickhead friend wickham. all this goes on when the next male heir, their cousin mr collins, wants some of lizzy

lowkey banger. darcy i slightly fuck with now but he’s kind of a lil bugger still

chapters: 19 deaths: 502. gang really got what was coming to them

chapters: 16 deaths: 458
the gang is finally facing the consequences of their actions

chapters: 15 deaths: 439. post big party with whores and the likes

darcy seems like a right daft cunt

chapters: 14 deaths: 424. went from killing natives to killing anything with a pulse. big jump. lowkey fucked. they’d just walk into a town and go hmmmm seems like a good day for some killing and scalping.

chapter: 12 deaths: 176. a lot of yapping and then murder. then more yapping

chapters: 8 deaths: 106. another big murder chapter coming up

chapter:7 body count:104. just finally met up with judge holden. sure hope things don’t get crazier or anything

two chapters in and three bodies currently

they sent my guy (not really my guy cause he’s kind of a bad guy) to a whole bunch of different places for trials, tribulations and torture and then brought him back to earth just to send his ass away again.

i think the page numbers for the book i have are off. i found me a place where i can do good without doing any harm. oh to be a harmonium.

okay so it turns out my boy malachi got laid in the worst way possible and now has unc status.