Caleb Tate > Recent Status Updates

“Without radical commitment to seeing our entire existence as wrapped up in furthering God’s purpose in other people’s lives, recovering our souls can strengthen our tendency to think more about all that happens within and to require that others treat us with tenderness and respect… The point of living is giving not getting.”
-Allender, pg201

God given repentance moves us towards others-centered relating.

When addressing memory, be open but not demanding, curious but not frantic, vigilant but not obsessed.

Beautiful narratives and articulation of how parent loyalties play out in marriage.

Chapter 6: Betrayal
“One does not abuse a valued possession. Many men and women have wept angry tears over the fact that their parents spent more time washing the car, tending the garden, or perfecting a golf swing than facing and dealing with their wounded heart.” (Allender, Pg. 130)

“Listen to how people talk about their natural abilities, intelligence, and accomplishments to get an initial assessment of the nature and intensity of their contempt. Self-hatred in the area of intelligence or ability is often a result of an abusive past that the person was powerless to stop.” pg 117

Chapter 3: “Contempt hinders the work of God. It directs our sight away from our deepest longings and deflects the focus from our depravity and need for a savior to an attack against our own and others dignity.”
- Dan Allender, pg 83

Ch 2 goes into the complexities of shame. Shame is in correlation with those whom you put trust in and who you allow to be the “judges” of your life. Shame is caused not just by the exposing of sin, but the revelation of one’s “deficiency”. This often leads to fear of consequences or “rejection” of community or relationship

Chapter 1 completely lays out and defines sexual abuse and the various severities of it. It explains that no matter the severity, abuse heavily impacts the body and soul. Sometimes the abuses that are not as easily defined are the ones that are more difficult to process to the tendency to minimize it.

Good so far. It addresses the power dynamics of authority in addressing memory, self-repression and suppression of abuse, pressured love/forgive + forget tactics, and the path of healing by the walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

It’s pretty good. It’s focused on the post seasonal effects of Covid-19 and how to recover from such events.