Joletta > Recent Status Updates

Too funny!

"Emma didn’t answer me as she used one hand to hold both of Mia’s constantly waving arms while trying to get her diaper fastened.  Part of me always expected her to finish and throw her hands up in the air like she’d just roped a calf.  It was amazing how wiggly and strong an eleven month old baby could be."

“For now, you’re sixteen. One day, you’ll be legal, and I’ll make you scream for mercy in my bed.”
“I don’t speak fluent redneck,” Poppy says without missing a beat, “but I sense you’re saying I have two years to get a restraining order. Oh, and buy a crate of pepper spray. Thanks for the heads up, Hoss.”
Uh, it's wrong that he's talking to a teen like this, but she's frikkin' hilarious with her response!

"Standing next to our mother, Poppy squirts Zeb with the water bottle we use on the cats. “Bad, Peepaw!” "

.....*sigh* Ahh, the family reunions...I know that I've wanted to squirt my cousins in the face for bad behavior

LMAO!!!!!!

"My sister is a firm believer in the magical powers of peroxide. Slut scratches? No problem, she’s got peroxide. Pushing a human being through her crotch? Peroxide to the rescue. Lose a limb to a bear attack? I’m sure peroxide will heal that right up."

Oh my GAWWDDD...I snorted tea through my nose on that one!!!!

"Journey walks into the house while I remain outside. I want to stay out here for a long time and get pensive. I’d like to imagine a world where I get everything I want and people always bow to my will. In the real world, though, mosquitoes call the shots, and I must flee their blood thirst by running into the house.
Even the best-laid plans…"
OMG...I'm DYING!!! This book is toooooo funny............

I'm 1/4 of the way into this craziness. Pretty sure that I'll get involuntarily committed before I finish it. I keep cracking up randomly...earning some puhretty strange stares....
I screamed and tossed the shirt at him, shocked out of my britches, ready to make a run for it.
Going back to fifth grade for a moment, I wanted to run around screaming ‘Stranger danger! Stranger danger!’
Aaannndd.....I'm DYING!!!

Ooooh. I'm LOVING Arson! I'm only about 15 pages in and it's not looking good for the laundry waiting on me...lol

Life interfered when I attempted to start this book. Now I'm on to YUMMY Nix!

I'm on page 50 or so and.....not feeling the love for Liz. She's too hot and cold, just plain bitchy. I'm not a fan of violence but I think Raahosh should slap the shit out of her the next time she goes after him. Might calm her down a bit. Grrrr

OMG Still no kissing on the lips...I keep having Pretty Woman flashbacks every time this is mentioned LMAO

About halfway through and am starting to get salty w/Liese. She's made Ryder grovel a couple chapters over something (IMO)inconsequential. Maybe I've been reading too many Alphaholes..but I think a smack on the ass and a short and sweet apology would be sufficient.

Oh my god!!!!!!!!! Tripp is a f*****g DOUCHEBAG!!!! This book really shoulda come with a warning label. If I didn't love the other characters so much it would be a DNF!!! I can tell now that I'm gonna just skim and skip Tripp for the last half.

I'm into chapter 5 and feeling the need to punch Spike in the face...with a hammer! Grrrr.

That's it! No more coffee during a "Dahl Experience"! This gem from Chapter 7 had me spitting out another mouthful.
"Ben hid a wince behind his hand, trying very hard not to think of seventy-year-old Ellie Verstgard rolling around with Mr. Wenner. Despite his best resistance, the image scrolled across his brain and took some of his love for the world with it."

Gawd, I love Victoria Dahl! I've had too many book hangovers and opted for something funny. This comment had me snorting coffee through my nose: "Thank God she wasn't wearing shorts. She hadn't shaved her legs in a week, theorizing that October in the mountains was pretty darn cold and she might need the extra layer of insulation."

I was able to read the first page of this book before the my nook went emo and decided to randomly delete books, flash to different parts of current books and basically just act like it was possessed. I've fixed it now (no exorcist required) and am happy to immerse myself into Verdenius' wacky world.

Umm, okay. Correct me if I'm wrong but breaking into the house of a female that you don't really know, who has already told you stay away from her and waking her up by stealing her virginity...umm isn't that called sexual assault by most people????

I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to get into this book. I love both of the main character and it has an original premise, but when I put it down...I just don't "have" to get back to it. This is frustrating!

Have you ever seen the biggest present under the Christmas tree and reaaaalllllyyy wanted to open it, but kinda didn't cuz then there wouldn't be anything else to anticipate? That's how I feel...I wanna read this but you only get to read a KA for the first time, well, once lmao. There's a lot of petting my nook and maybe a few "my precious" 's thrown in...DON'T JUDGE ME. *grin*

Whoo, ice water break...Langley is HAWT!

Okay, I'm not really reading this...yet, but with five days on the countdown I am being proactive.

I've been reading some pretty heavy story lines lately. Time to get lost in Lee's relentless pursuit of Indy and her hilarious dodging antics.

Whew, the end of chapter two nearly singed the face of my Nook. Zane is soooo hawt! If I promise to be very bad do you think that Santa will bring him to me for Christmas? *wicked grin*

This is so hilarious! She stole all of the marshmallows out of his Lucky Charms...and he's so pissed all he can think to call her is a cereal killer! LMFAO

Grrr, if Bobby Tom refers to Gracie as a "mercy fuck" one more time I'm going to hire a virtual assassin!!!

Hmm, these two aren't your average H/h. It seems like they are one wrong word away from homicide then BAM she's getting banged in an elevator.

Grrr, apparently I have lost my motor functions and cannot type...I MEANT to say: "I don't KNOW WHAT to read next." Sheesh.

Omg, I think my TBR pile just *growled* at me. I don't what what to read next...too many choices. GAHHHH!