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“Her eyes darkened until they were nearly as black as his”. THATS NOT A THING. PEOPLES EYES DONT TURN BLACK WHEN THEYRE MAD.

I swear if the real life US Marshall’s are as bad at internet research as Andrea is, I don’t know how this country has survived.

Is this not the exact same plot and MC as the Simply Devious series, just in a slightly different font?

70% of the relationship development (any type of relationship- friends, family, lovers, enemies) comes from reading a complex thought and emotion from the other person’s expression. It’s ridiculous.

Ana manipulates people to do what she wants them to do, and then they get punished for it- sometimes with death- and she never has to face the consequences of her actions. She gets to write, and to long for her husband and hide.

IM SO BORED THIS IS SUCH A STRUGGLE. Fake battle and training and fake battle and training and our MC is so pretentious and I can’t stand him.

The relationships are not very believable. Xiala senses Iktan is disappointed she doesn’t want to be friends, sees concern in xir eyes or whatever, but also xi is about to murder her maybe? This is absurd. Iktan is either a hardened killer or not. This in between is dumb.

Also one of the MCs is a mermaid, and her inner monologue is like 60% about being half mermaid (aka Teek), but we’ve barely seen her do anything.
Also if all Teek are women, how can she be half Teek. Wasn’t her mom also half Teek? And her grandmother Half Teek? I need more of this backstory here. How does the Teek blood not get bred out of them.

This whole time I’ve felt like I don’t understand enough of the history and lore of this world. What are the politics. Who are these clans and nations.

Now 47% of the way into book number 2, we get an explanation. I wish this happened early in book 1.

I can really tell that this is a white woman writing an Asian main character.

I really need to stop giving YA books a chance. This girl is so dumb.

Also the writing is acting like she’s some silly lovesick girl who can’t stand up on her own two feet and trips over everything in the woods, but somehow she’s been traveling alone for the last 9 years? Come on.

Eh it’s pretty cringey. “I peek through loose strands of hair at him”- the constant references to hiding behind her waist length hair, using it to protect her from the sun(???wut???) make me imagine her as Samara from the ring.
Also she’s traveled the world but every reference is in to her father’s house. The room in the Hanging City was as big as her fathers dining room, etc. this is annoying

I’m just skipping pages to pick up plot points until I get to the end. It doesn’t even feel like I’m missing anything when I skip over 30 pages. Everyone is still in the exact same spot.

I’m still going. But it’s still boring. Nothing is happening.

I think this is going to be a DNF. I’m so bored. It’s just round and round in circles. Nothing is happening. Nothing is progressing.

Was this written by a high schooler? So wordy with bland adjectives

“But the crime of kidnapping is a serious one, so for a kidnapper, if things go south, the temptation to kill the victim and dump the body to avoid being caught is strong.”

“It is late in the morning, and as he walks the short distance down the leafy streets, he turns the case over in his mind.”

“Our lives our designed…”
Plz fix this.

Jo’s going to teach every girl in America how to become a skilled fighter?

Also this book is so long. Why

This is trying REALLY hard to be a feminist, girl power, F the man book… I love the intent, but it’s trying too hard.
Also this magic system is kind isnt being sold very well. Seeing the dead and garden witches make sense, but what on earth is Jo’s power? Is this from X-men lore?

“The structure was… unremarkable as every other building in the city. Even so, this one felt important.”
“He wasn’t sure how he knew, but protected Essence- such as that contained within his body- should be safe.”

This author really, really, really needs to have his editor teach him to show, not tell.

Everyone keeps knocked out and then they wake up dazed and confused, but not concussed or with any brain injuries.

The plot is ok I guess, but it’s definitely very confusing with all of the names of people and places and gods/not gods and nicknames. This author is very much a “tell, not show” kind of writer.
“There had been something in the creature's voice. A certainty that [XYZ] couldn't shake.” So now XYZ just decided to trust the random searing light telling him something he doesn’t want to hear?

This is fascinating

It’s not so bad that I’m going to stop reading, but I also just don’t care about the story. Why is it 500+ pages?

I’m so annoyed by this whole book. Why does Ryle keep wearing his scrubs to bed after he’s been working in a hospital all day. All the names are trying so hard to be unique. I hate a DNF though, so I guess I’ll get through it.