maya > Recent Status Updates

be me, skip breakfast before work because i get an earlier lunch today, find myself STARVING, read this book during my lunch break bc bookclub is tomorrow, immediately not hungry. AND MY STOMACH HURTS.

“our gen z queen. it would be very sigma of you. no cap, rizzler.” olivia dade you will never see the pearly gates for writing this book and ruining my day such as you have

i can’t believe i wasted my lunch break reading this fucking book.

this is so bad i have to laugh

okay day count up to 9 but six of those are gwen being imprisoned so she’s really only known hugh for 3 days MAX

over 50% through and it’s been 1 diegetic day. and they’ve already kissed and made it to third base. and apparently he tastes like cheese. because when i think of a guy tasting like cheese it really gets me hot. eugh.

clocking into my shift at the pissing me off factory like “wow i sure hope they don’t piss me off today!”

too many cheese references and— oh? what’s that? THEY HIT THE PENTAGON?? MORE UGLY FUCKING OUTFITS DESCRIBED LIKE THEYRE SEXY HAS HIT THE PENTAGON???? because i too drool at the sight of a grown man wearing a sleeveless skin tight asymmetrical crop top with white buttons. and the explanation is that they are trying to be INCOGNITO. BECAUSE WORDS DONT MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE

yes because when i think about traveling incognito i too dress up like guy fieri. duh.

“praise for zomromcom” im sure. reading these reviews feels like ragebait because who read that and thought “yeah all of these jokes about his name and macrame thongs are joyfully hilarious.” how much are they paying these people because no amount of money could make me debase myself in this way and compliment zomromcom. and yet here i am reading the next one for book club. #prayersup

my problem with ellynor is she just isn’t very bright or clever. senneth is so wise and kirra is smart and quick and ellynor just has no defining characteristics other than being sheltered

thoughts so far: not enough POV from the dark moon defender himself BUT a very exciting pov shift to senneth has me SEATED

and cammon’s there too!

kirra danalustrous suffers more than christ

OUGH MY STOMACH HURTS.

justin is a real ass friend i’m sorry for making fun of your name in book 1 mr dark moon defender. you’re a real one

this book is NOT sword and sorcery fantasy, it’s actually horror

can’t even be mad rn because like please that’s my best friend kirra

i miss senneth pov but i also love seeing senneth from everyone else’s pov because that’s literally mother. let’s do magic with mama. let’s keep everyone safe with mama

the OG found family. i’m really loving that this book is such a slow and sustained burn like really not that much has happened but at the same time that’s exactly what the book is about. “a group of riders set out to see what’s going on” and that they did. it makes modern fantasy look like blockbuster movies and i appreciate both sides of the spectrum

the world building is kinda funny because it’s like all these houses have their own problems and immaturities except for danalustrous, which is the best and most just and perfect house in the whole kingdom and everyone there is perfect and wonderful and reasonable and beautiful

inventing a new form of torture unexplored by man where i ride the exercise bike and read this book. that way im grouping all the awful together at one time and will be free when im done

JUST TURNED ON THE AUDIOBOOK AND I FOUND OUT THIS GUY IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FRENCH ACCENT??????? also the gaston song shit was genuinely worse than chinese water torture when forced to listen to it instead of skimming through

so not only is this the zombie apocalypse and there’s vampires and demons and enhanced humans, but she’s a soap maker with an etsy storefront (see: THE APOCALYPSE) and they’re both…….. content creators. genuinely what the hell anymore. #noted

22% in and it’s been less than 1 in-universe day. why, you might ask? because pages and pages are taken up with the most inane and insufferable conversations i’ve ever heard

okay the weird goat thong aside (seriously what) genuinely can’t understand why these people are like oh there’s a bunch of zombies coming out of this compound. let’s KEEP OUR CITY SURROUNDING IT. WHY DONT YOU JUST MOVE PEOPLE. WHY ARE YOU STILL SHARING WALLS WITH THE PLACE WHERE ZOMBIES COME OUT OF. THIS MAKES NO SENSE. WHY ARE YOU STILL LIVING THERE IF YOUR PARENTS GOT KILLED BY ZOMBIES.

okay we start with a map that’s a perfect circle. because yes that is obviously the easiest way to design a compound in the apocalypse. and then BEHIND each layer of walls is a moat. not IN FRONT OF, you know, historically where moats go, but BEHIND. because that makes a lot of sense when trying to keep things out of your city

after a generational 5 star fantasy run i’m heading over here since i started it and want to finish it before the year is over

book so good it’s stressing me out.

“all that training, all that study…when really his strength was meant to serve her. he was meant to serve her.“ #yum #darlingtonandiareeatingoodrn #invastlydifferentwaysbutstill

boyfriend keeps trying to talk to me—NOT NOW. MAMA HAS TO LOCK IN. THINGS ARE GETTING SERIOUS. I HAVE FOLLOWED THE CRUMBS TO THE CANDY HOUSE AND I AM ABOUT TO FEAST. DARLINGTON YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS