Jemima > Recent Status Updates

Because while musical prodigies are always celebrated, early readers aren’t. And that’s because early readers are only good at something others will eventually be good at, too. So being first isn’t special—it’s just annoying.

Lmaaoo ain’t that the truth.

‘Now, your father is worried I will say the wrong things tomorrow, so I have prepared. We will discuss wedding, and also weather. These two are definite. And I have read an article about the gender pay gap, also another about girls in science. These are suitable topics, if you are happy to agree?’ She looked anxiously at her daughter.

Okay her mom is the cutest 🥺

She’d sent him a link to preview the current design just yesterday. And, even though there was apparently still technical shit for her to do, he thought everything looked perfect. Just... perfect. So much so that if he thought about it for too long, his chest got tight and all his hope and gratitude made a lump of not-so-impossible dreams in his throat.

Lol, wish my clients were this excited about websites.

He fell back against the bed, still laughing helplessly—but he grabbed her wrist as he went. And pulled.
And she came tumbling onto the bed with him.

Oh, of all the cliches and of all the tropes, this is one of my favorites.

"Were you trying to choke me back there?" she asks.

"I thought you were one of the guards," I say, heat rising in my face. "I'm so sorry."

"You can't choke a full-grown man. You have to stab him or run him over with your cart. Come on now, Sophia."

Yeah think Sophia, ya dolt.

Lol I love how she's offended that Sophia didn't try to kill her properly.

“Kiss me again,” he says, drunk and foolish. “Kiss me until I am sick of it.”

No cause why did my heart skip a beat? It wasn't even addressed to me.

I promised her nothing. Not even orgasms. They required minor work on my part and, therefore, were a terrible waste of my time.

No, this *can't* be the actual romantic interest? Surely he's the villain that'll be slain very dramatically in the end and we'll all cheer, right? I mean, why else would he be written this way?

“How? Easily.” He was so dismissive; he was flirting with open disdain. “A smart girl, however, would have asked for the why.”

Flirting?? Ma'am, no he's *insulting* you after pretending to be someone else and kissing you which is definitely sketchy? What is this mess?

What in the heck, he's 30?! And she's 19? What in the child bride is this mess?

Welp this doesn't seem promising. 4 pages in and they've used the word Italian 5 times. Also I'm already getting "not like other girl" vibes from the main character. Welp anyway let's see.

Also “Honey, get off your high horse. You were pretty like a Hallmark card when you were nineteen. Francesca, here, is The Creation of Adam. Not the same league. Not even the same ball game.” .

Who talks like that??

"You forget yourself," he says, his voice dissolving into woodsmoke. "You forget me."

Why is this so attractive??

"You forget yourself," he says, his voice dissolving into woodsmoke. "You forget me."

Why is this so attractive??

and a low voice says, "I would rather see clouds blot out the stars."

Er... am I supposed to think the darkness is hot? Cause I think the darkness is hot

It's interesting how this book contains so much nothing in the first 100 pages - everything that's happened so far can be summarized into like 4 sentences.

Also ugh these characters. It's like Desperate Housewives but set in the countryside and with less sexy, one-dimensional people.

Y'know if the point of the story is that the main character is insufferable and seems like someone you'd hate to be around in real life then they're sure doing a great job of getting there.

I love him. I don’t know anything about this guy. Not his age, not his job, not even his name. But I love him.

  ‘This is an outdated practice,’ snapped Clara, the fire of feminism in her eyes. ‘I foresee that in future generations, women will be equal.’

The sweat of shame passed over Chester’s brow.

‘You are right,’ he said. ‘I will join the fight, Clara. In future years I will be a male suffragette.’

😂😂 I know the MC isn't meant to be a great writer but wow this is bad

 ‘This is an outdated practice,’ snapped Clara, the fire of feminism in her eyes. ‘I foresee that in future generations, women will be equal.’



The sweat of shame passed over Chester’s brow.



‘You are right,’ he said. ‘I will join the fight, Clara. In future years I will be a male suffragette.’

😂😂 I know the MC isn't meant to be a great writer but wow this is bad

Hmm I thought I'd enjoy this a bit more but so far I find the main character kinda... desperate? Like sis chill, you're on a writing retreat not a man-hunting retreat.

Ooh I've been on the cable cars they're talking about on this page! Although, my trip was definitely more PG than theirs.

Lol it's an interesting feeling seeing real life places in fictional stories. It's like when they show a place you know in a movie and you're like "Oh I know that street!"

Sigh, this is why I really don't like reading books with male main characters.

If I had a cent for every time he's compared his partner to another woman, I'd have like 6 cents. Which isn't that much sure but I'm only like 15% into the book.

Oh I thought the main character was a woman. Hmm well let's see how it goes.

This book should have ended by now tbh, how many more plot twists are there going to be??

Gah, the second hand embarrassment is strong with this one. I'd literally rather mop a beach than do half of the things this main character has done

I just might be more jaded now than when I first started this series but I find the characters energy very tiresome.

Like ugh no just go home, why must you stay at the murder school. Why do people always want to do things and solve> problems? Is it not enough to simply ignore everything?

At least for David, his daddy would just bail him out. Can't say the same for the rest of them.

"If Gertie van Coevorden had two brain cells, each would be amazed to know of the other’s existence."

Lmaooooooo

"Orange"

The story was told in the form of answers to a questionnaire so there was the aspect of reading the story and also trying to guess what the questions were.

The plot was also interesting - alien invasions and tanning cream.

Also the narrator had my name. Hehe, I love when characters have my name. I'm like yeaaahh Jemima, let's goooo

"Adventure Story"

'... after what the did to the Aztecs in 1942.'
'Mummy, the Aztecs died out years ago. Long before 1942.'
'Oh yes, dear. The ones in America.'

Lol this was one of the funnier stories in this collection.

"My Last Landlady"

The title makes it obvious what happens but it was a nice creepy tale anyway