Michael > Recent Status Updates

“Maybe there’d come a day when Paris would stop being made to feel inadequate by furniture, but that day was not this day.“

“I was hoping that something here would bring it out. And now I feel like… Like I’m starting to come back to life. Like I’m a plant and someone finally remembered to water me.“

“Seems like a waste to never have sex with the person who pulled you from the mouth of a shark.”

I love ingredients because they have memories. Stories, histories, personalities.

“San Francisco is a city of great food and great sin. And one of these days I’m gonna eat at one of those restaurants.”

No quote, I’m just straight-up sobbing

“You’re hypocrites and assholes. You’re bad neighbors. You’re bad Christians – Jesus was friends with prostitutes, beggars, murderers – the fun people! Is your presence here a reflection of that? No! You’re the angry mob Jesus scolded! Your behavior out here is shameful, dishonorable, undemocratic, and poorly styled!” Victoria allows, her eyes to land on one of the more matronly dressed bigots.

“I don’t always completely understand you. But I love you, my little mystery.”

“The rehearsal dinner is sponsored by Applebee’s,” Nichole says, sitting quickly. She looks at Ezra. “I know it’s trash, but I had a craving. Have you had their Fiesta Lime Chicken? They use real fiesta!“

“I think if we were the same age, and we were in Paris, and I wasn’t your mom, I’d sit beside you at a café, shoulder to shoulder, and I think we’d be great friends.“

“Chrissy, darlin’, John is dead. Slings are fun. AIDS is treatable. Get over yourself.“

“Sweetheart, many wedding traditions shall never change. The bride must always have an aromatic bouquet to obfuscate her body odor. The service must always begin on the half hour to mirror the clock’s small hand rising to praise Him. And the bride and her family must always be on the left so the groom’s right hand remains free for sword fighting.“

“Céline [Dion] is a good woman, but she’s a real terror when“