Ms. Smartarse’s Reviews > Footsteps in the Dark > Status Update
Ms. Smartarse
is 82% done
GET BENT, DIPSHIT!
The love note was scrawled across my grocery list on the refrigerator door. It was fine. I preferred keeping all my reminders in a central location. Now I knew I needed to pick up milk, sugar, bread and a new boyfriend.
— Feb 21, 2025 07:05AM
The love note was scrawled across my grocery list on the refrigerator door. It was fine. I preferred keeping all my reminders in a central location. Now I knew I needed to pick up milk, sugar, bread and a new boyfriend.
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Ms. Smartarse’s Previous Updates
Ms. Smartarse
is 72% done
"I hope you get what you're looking for."
That sounded like a curse. No, I knew what I wanted: a purebred male, classy and stylish. Not a dog you saw every day. One who would attract the pretty gay boys whenever I took him to the dog park.
— Feb 21, 2025 01:32AM
That sounded like a curse. No, I knew what I wanted: a purebred male, classy and stylish. Not a dog you saw every day. One who would attract the pretty gay boys whenever I took him to the dog park.
Ms. Smartarse
is 60% done
The shock was visceral. Adam hadn't been kind enough to get fat... or bald. He was as tall and fit and lovely as when Callum had left him.
— Feb 18, 2025 12:09PM
Ms. Smartarse
is 50% done
As a non-native English speaker I shouldn't feel this strongly, but...
"NITCH" IS AN ABOMINATION! 🤬🤬🤬
nēsh or nish are the only acceptable ways to pronounce the word niche!
... no, I don't care about Webster disagreeing.
— Feb 17, 2025 09:55PM
"NITCH" IS AN ABOMINATION! 🤬🤬🤬
nēsh or nish are the only acceptable ways to pronounce the word niche!
... no, I don't care about Webster disagreeing.
Ms. Smartarse
is 44% done
Asking (begging?) for police protection be like:
"I'm still not sure about this."
"I'll make sure you have fun."
"I don't wanna have fun."
"Then I'll make sure you have a horrible evening."
"I can do that all by myself."
— Feb 17, 2025 12:10AM
"I'm still not sure about this."
"I'll make sure you have fun."
"I don't wanna have fun."
"Then I'll make sure you have a horrible evening."
"I can do that all by myself."
Ms. Smartarse
is 15% done
"We think we found the missing man, but a gator has him."
"What do you mean 'A GATOR 'HAS HIM'?"
"In its mouth. Carrying him around. This is a BFG. You know how to kill 'im right?"
"Yeah. Except it's illegal to kill a gator in Florida unless you have a license."
He'd let her explain to [the colonel] that they weren't legally allowed to kill the gator.
— Feb 16, 2025 04:50AM
"What do you mean 'A GATOR 'HAS HIM'?"
"In its mouth. Carrying him around. This is a BFG. You know how to kill 'im right?"
"Yeah. Except it's illegal to kill a gator in Florida unless you have a license."
He'd let her explain to [the colonel] that they weren't legally allowed to kill the gator.
Ms. Smartarse
is 10% done
"You think the vegetarian surfer killed [the drug dealing victim] to steal his bag?!"
"There's nothing that prohibits a vegetarian from committing murder, just from eating the body."
— Feb 15, 2025 11:40PM
"There's nothing that prohibits a vegetarian from committing murder, just from eating the body."
