average human’s Reviews > Quiet Burn > Status Update

“However, if you’d like me to answer yer pet hybrid, I will. But be cautious how you receive the answer, demon. I won’t be slighted on my own lands.”
What the fuck? He meant Oriel was the pet?
The response makes Oriel snicker as I gape at the rude as fuck vendor. “Uh, okay, I guess. Reply to him and we’ll see what happens.”
“Fine. That is a collar of titanium with a kite-shaped coffin rainbow moonstone. It has been cleansed of impurities that would prevent those from our realm from wearing it and its design mimics an ancient relic the world has not seen for a millennia.” The dwarf crosses his arms over his chest, looking at me pointedly. “It would cost a small fortune outside of this event, but we do not barter with money at an Apalachin.”
Oriel arches his brow, taking in the odd terminology without comment. Obviously, we’ve stumbled into an event steeped in weird ass traditions that we’re going to bump against all night. At least this mysterious jerkwad gave us information we didn’t have before while he lectured us. “And, what, pray tell, would you be willing to barter for if the pet would like to obtain this well-crafted replica?”
At his question, the dwarf walks away, then comes back with a stool. Climbing onto it, the ginger creature is now tall enough to look me in the eyes directly. “If yer pet wants my vision of the Collar of the Three-Headed Beastmaster, he will have to give me a possession that he holds dear in exchange. I can scent what he is, and I know that to be a more appropriate cost than secrets or favors. Crows treasure their hoards more than most shifters—but for dragons, of course.”
“I don’t think so. That seems⁠—”
Before I can finish, Oriel grins wickedly. “That’s the deal? An item I hold dear from one of my hoards for this collar in its entirety? You will lift any curses or hexes you’ve cast on it as well?”
Well, I never would have thought to fucking ask that. I’m so screwed in this damn place.
The dwarf growls, squinting at my caliphate brother as he scratches his beard. “You drive a hard bargain, pet. Yes, I will remove all magics from the piece if your item has enough tangible value to you.”
This haggling is making me nervous, but I swallow it as I watch the two of them stare at one another combatively. Finally, Oriel nods, pulling a small velvet bag out of his pocket. He takes out a shiny ruby that must be expensive, rolling it over his knuckles as he looks at the merchant. “This ruby was… acquired as part of my training as a child. It comes from mines far below the earth and owned by those of my name. I almost died retrieving it.”
“Oriel, don’t! There’s no way this thing is worth something like that.”
“Ahh, young denizen of the Underworld, you are wrong. Yer pet knows what he is doing; I can see it in his eyes.” The dwarf clears his throat and claps his hands, nodding in satisfaction. “I accept your payment, Duke Bloodstone, and relinquish all rights to this piece and any boons associated with it. Be safe in yer travels this eve.”
Turning to Oriel as he shakes his head, I grab his arm and lead him away from the booth before something else insane happens. “Oriel, he knows who you are. How did a random… dwarf… know who you are?”
“The register, KK. Pretending not to know was just one of their stupid games. It’s part of why demons hate the fucking Fae and their realm. Too much pretense, and obsession with outsmarting one another. Now, do a little turn for me so I can put this on you.”
I scowl at him, batting his hands away. “Hell no. You guys said I’m not allowed to eat or drink here like Alice in fucking Wonderland. Why in the name of Dante’s seven layers would I let you put some piece of jewelry with a name on me?”
“Well, I definitely understand why he’d ask that,” Xerxes says as they come up to us. Salem is carrying a pack full of crap on his back that must be the demon’s purchases and for a moment, I worry about what currency X used to get that much shit.
“Kit Kat, I wouldn’t give you something that was dangerous, now would I?” O says with a grin. “I’m glad you thought about it, though. That means all the damn lectures about this place sunk in.”
Xerxes snatches the collar, inspecting it curiously. “In this case, I’d like Annie to concur, but I believe your rough-hewn tradesman removed all traces of his magic from it. Though, he’s a fool if he thinks we’ll believe it’s a replica.”
My eyes widen. “What?! Are you saying this is some black market lost treasure and Oriel wants me to put it on? Have you guys even heard of the Hope Diamond? No way, man.”
“Who do you think worked the bargain that allowed that thing to remain cursed for this long?” Anton shrugs as he walks over with Zavida and another bag full of… whatever. “Demons, of course. The original curse was from a deity, but they bore easily and don’t often personally maintain their decrees. Throughout most of history, the heavy lifting of keeping curses, hexes, and the like from gods or goddesses has been farmed out to demons. We enjoy it far more and gain power from being cut in.”
My head is going to explode; I need to get somewhere semi-normal for a few minutes or I might lose it.
“You are overwhelming the little demon.”
Slash’s words make my breath whoosh out in relief and I walk over to him, looking up at the shark demon gratefully. “You are one hundred percent right about that, big guy.”

“We should continue moving through here until we reach the other end, then leave.” Jasper looks around as he approaches, then sighs. “I do not think it is wise to approach the courts at this time. But I do agree with Oriel—you should wear the damn thing unless Anton disagrees with X’s opinion. It is not a coincidence that you and O happened on it, nor that it is a real artifact masquerading as a copy.”
“You guys are fucking crazy,” I mutter as Anton takes the collar from Xerxes. “There’s just no way that damn thing appeared here because I happened to choose Fae territory at an event we happened to get wind of on a weekend we happened—oh.”
Salem reaches out and ruffles my hair fondly, making my face turn red. “KK, that’s just too much ‘happened to’ not to be some sort of Fate chicanery. Even demons know not to mess with those bitches; if they wanted you to have this, we should follow the outline, dude.”
“Next thing I know you’ll be telling me watery tarts distributing swords are a basis for government,” I grumble under my breath. “I don’t like this one bit.”
Anton sighs as he gives me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Kit Kat. It feels like the dwarf’s magic is gone and whatever’s in this thing… is keyed to you already. They’re probably right.”
Just fucking great. A bunch of old bats who can’t keep track of their eyeball are dictating my fashion choices.

91%

When we finally get to the end of the market, I feel a strong pulse beating in the stone of my collar. My hand tightens on Salem’s as the panic rises in my body along with the swirling colors of power within me. Blackness and deep red prickle along the inside of my skin as if trying to get out—a sure sign that my supposed magic is trying to tell me something.
The damn necklace is too, it seems.
“Stop,” I murmur to the panda demon as I tug on our joined hands. “We have to stop, Salem.”
He frowns, doing as I say immediately then clearing his throat loudly to get the Prince’s attention. “What’s going on, Kit Kat?”
The others are crowded around me in a circle in a blink, and I shake my head as I meet their gazes. “I don’t know why, but as soon as we got close to these two big tent things, both the new collar and my magic started going haywire. Something in this area is important… or a problem… or I don’t know. It’s just telling me to wait.”
“Do not be afraid,” Slash rumbles. He turns to face away from me, his broad back and fin blocking my view as he moves to scan the crowd. “I will make certain no one comes near you.”
“Good thing you’re worried about me,” Jasper drawls sarcastically. His words are sharp, but with my senses heightened, I feel the concern he doesn’t want to voice. The dragon is a lot of things and many of them suck, but I know he doesn’t want his family harmed and now I’m included in that roster.
I know he’s seen something he doesn’t like when a low, frustrated growl escapes him. His posture stiffens and he speaks to us in a soft, measured tone. “Everyone stay calm and follow my lead. It appears the shrimp may be right. I have no fucking clue if this is an ambush or not, so watch your words and zip it if you aren’t a thousand percent sure you’ve got your shit together.”
The big demons move apart, revealing a group of five men and a determined looking woman walking towards us. They’re a mixed group, I think, as their scents are confusing my nose, but I believe one of them has to be a dragon based on size alone. That one is walking in a manner reminiscent of Slash, so I think he might be a guard—and he looks quite unhappy. I can’t tell if the anger is directed at the universe or us, but he’s sticking pretty close to the very handsome man with dark hair.
“Get ready for bullshit in three… two… one…” X whispers to me as they step closer.
The angry looking bodyguard stops short as they get within a few feet, jerking his chin up at Jasper. “Prince Eversore. What a surprise to see you above the surface and on our lands.”
“Your lands?” Jasper says, his voice full of amusement. “No matter who you serve, this ground does not belong to you, Lieutenant.”
Does he know these fucking people? A little info would be great right now.
“Kaspar, don’t taunt the Prince of Hell. It’s gauche,” the handsome man chides as he steps into the gap and holds his hand out to Jasper. “My second is as diplomatic as most dragons, Your Highness, but I am not so prickly.”
“But he is,” I mutter and Salem snickers beside me.
“Who was that? I like them,” the tall woman says. Her eyes are delighted as she joins the mysterious hot guy and the praise makes my skin tingle pleasantly. “Show yourself, whichever one of you is actually honest.”
Licking my lips, I look at the panda, who shrugs, then pull him along with me as I do as she asked. “It was me. I’m sort of the problem child. My name is Kit, but I’m sorry to say I’m not sure who any of you are, so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m fucking up some official secret handshake or greeting.”
The pretty guy laughs, turning to look at the tall blond, then the other two with an amused expression. “Don’t worry, Kit. Morgana is similarly inclined to speak plainly, which is why she was excited to see who would scoff at the second most powerful demon in Hell without fear.”
I shrug, my face heating as I try to ignore all the spiking power and energy inside of me clashing with my own serotonin and adrenaline. “You didn’t answer my question, though. She’s Morgana—thanks for that— but who are you all and how do you know Jasper?”
“Watch it, demon,” the dragon says as sparks jump on his frame. “You are not a friend and speaking to the Prince of the Daybreak Court requires respect.”
Now we have two of them to swing their dicks around—there are fucking rich, royal assholes everywhere I look.
Xerxes saves me by showing their face, all smiles and diplomacy as they steal the attention from me. “Oh, you’re Prince Liam then. I really thought I’d recognize you; I follow all the court fashions and you’re always impeccably dressed.”
Morgana snorts, covering her mouth for a moment before she shakes her head. “Guess that whole ‘magic will disguise us’ thing works unless it’s another royal pain in the ass, huh, Li?”
The tall blond hunk grins, socking the Fae prince on the shoulder. “Your brilliant plan hit a four-oh-four error, man. Sucks to be us.”
“For fuck’s sake,” the bodyguard says as he growls. “The plan worked fine, though I suppose we should forget it now that you’re all revealing it to everyone. We didn’t expect another dragon to appear, especially one as powerful as Hell’s royal family. Of course he can see me, and I’m well known in supernatural circles. My father and I are the face of the Daybreak army.”
Oriel tilts his head, nudging my shoulder. “Looks like we accidentally foiled our plan and theirs.”
“That’s what happens when you think Jedi mind tricks are going to protect you,” I say softly and the crow demon laughs. “Something always goes wrong and if you don’t have a million variations on your plan, you’re screwed.”
“A very wise statement,” Morgana replies as she grins broadly. “But truly, we mean you no harm. We did not want to draw a crowd, but that’s the only reason Liam and Kaspar were disguised. I assume your… group…is also looking to fly under the radar?”
“Yes,” Jasper growls. “We were hoping to make our way to the exit without fanfare so we can get to our next appointment. It’s a quirk of fate that I happened to identify one of my kind and then conclude who it was.”
“Perhaps we can agree to stay quiet as a mini-detente?”
The suggestion is made by the delicate looking man holding Morgana’s hand. He looks shy and studious, not made for battle like the dragon or brash like the blond. I believe he’s something aquatic by the smell, and the bulky blond is a shifter. That leaves the fancy pants dude next to the shy guy and everything about him screams money and arrogance. I have no idea what he is, but I know he’d piss me off.
“Agreed, siren.” Slash folds his arms over his chest, his posture radiating tension as he watches the group. It’s his job to keep us safe and he clearly doesn’t know how he feels about this encounter yet.
“Prince?” The sparking dragon says in response.
Jasper nods. “My caliphate will stay silent about your presence if you do the same. I accept those terms.”
“Excellent!” The handsome Fae prince claps his hands, looking pleased. “I am quite certain my mates and family will hold up our end of this bargain. Perhaps if it goes smoothly, you and I will have things to discuss in the future, Prince Jasper.”
Shockingly, Jasper actually smiles at the dude. “That would be an interesting possibility, Prince Liam. I believe we might have a vast number of interests that intersect. Anton, the card?”
I’d almost forgotten the peacock shifter since he stayed quiet, but it was obviously for a reason. Anton walks into the divide, handing what looks to be a metal business card to the bodyguard. The angry dragon hands something back to him, and both princes puff up, looking pleased as shit.
This is such a weird fucking dance of bullshit.
I’m about to comment when something prickles at the back of my neck, then around the collar to the stone. It feels cool against my skin, and I reach up to touch it. What in the hell a temperature change means, I don’t know, but I get the feeling it’s not nothing. I elbow Salem in the side, leaning in to whisper very softly, “The damn collar is going nuts again. I don’t think it was just these guys.”
Before he can answer, a loud crack sounds out in the tent on the right and a bang echoes out of the one on the left side. My roomie’s eyes widen, and he lets go of my hand, looking at Slash. The shark nods, and I squeak as Salem hauls me up onto his shoulder without preamble and takes off, running away from our caliphate at a speed I didn’t know he was capable of.
“Hey!” I pound my fist on his broad back, but he doesn’t respond. “Salem, don’t do this. You can’t run away from them with me and not be there for whatever is going on!”
“Sorry, KK,” he rumbles as he darts through a throng of people starting to panic and run around. “My job is to get you to safety; you can get mad at me later.”
You can bet that’s exactly what I’m going to fucking do when I get out of his kung-fu grip—I hope he’s wearing a cup.