Emma’s Reviews > Appetites: A Cookbook > Status Update

“Truffles do not make it better. If you add truffle oil, which is made from a petroleum-based chemical additive and the crushed dreams of nineties culinary mediocrity, you should be punched in the kidneys.”

“the single most important lesson I learned over the course of many years, and many, many parties, is this humbling but inescapable fact: that no matter what you serve, no matter how beautifully presented, strikingly garnished, exotic in flavor, or expensive, what everybody wants, what they will be all over like a swarm, every time, is commercially made freezer-case-sourced pigs in fucking blankets.”

“God does not want you to put chicken in your Caesar.”