lucas’s Reviews > These Violent Delights > Status Update

finished the book this morning, holding off on marking it as finished because i want to sit and write a proper review this time. and do not have the energy right now

first day of work successful. realised that i am about to experience a drastic reduction in my reading time. and my music time. and my writing time. and pretty much all of my time. the price we must pay for £24,500/yr. contemplating giving audiobooks a go to listen to on my commute but it is barely fifteen minutes so. going to have to see how things go (i was not designed for office life)

i had forgotten how awful paul and julian were. well. mostly paul. 10/10 for toxic homoerotic codependency but bloody hell

very jarring seeing zack polanski on the last leg when i know several people who are quite good friends with the man and are on affectionate first name terms with him. im on eryg committee with a member of his campaign team who messages him semi-regularly. very glad to have helped vote him in

may follow up this reread by locating some strange and niche horror ebooks. something about the genre tickles my brain enough to get me back into the reading mood and makes it almost comforting. even when the books aren't great. which would make for some pretty easy psychoanalysis if i had any interest whatsoever in psychology

rereading yet another book about unhealthy homoerotic obsession to get me through these trying times. have to do an intensive driving course this week because so many environment jobs demand a driver's license. not happy about it

less than two weeks into summer, and i have already reached the point where the only thing i can bear to do is lay in bed and read. everything about this season is its own special hell and september cannot come soon enough. i do not need a repeat of last august and am frantically beating the threat of it back with my bookshelf

a part of me was worried i wouldn't like this book as much on reread. anyway. having a detailed conversation with alex about how paul says that he kills the butterflies he collects because theyre beautiful, and killing them is the only way he can keep them, and then he beats julian severely because violence is the only way he can express desire. he has to destroy that which he wishes to keep. they were always doomed.

julian fromme should have been in research skills and project design with daryl stump /: maybe then he wouldn't have killed a man

paul being an ecology student makes so much sense to me because my ecology exam also made me contemplate extreme and uncalled for violence. it is a side-effect of the brutality and nihilism that the field inspires. and there should be more environment student representation in dark academia.