Paul Warren’s Reviews > Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents > Status Update

“In contrast, externalizers engage in behaviors that often exasperate and anger others, so when they need help, others typically want to keep their distance.
However, externalizers usually keep acting up until somebody steps in to help them. Conversely, internalizers may suffer in silence and continue to look just fine,”

“Children of rejecting parents come to see themselves as bothers and irritants, causing them to give up easily, whereas more secure children tend to keep making requests or complaining to get what they want. This can have serious ramifications later in life when, as adults, these rejected children find it hard to ask for what they need.”

Lauren is my overactive parent and mom is my passive one. Also watch for self to be passive

“In this role reversal, te child catches the contagion of the parent's distress and feels responsible in making the parent feel better. Instead the upsetting feelings just get spread around to others, so that everyone reac without understanding what is truly the matter.”

I don’t know if I’m immature if I’m self aware of having some of these tendencies, but I certainly can see myself and my family.
“"She just reports the facts and never talks about anything other than 'Here's what's hap pened lately. She doesn't connect with me in the conversation. I get so frustrated”

“However, the reactions of emotionally immature people tend to be black-and-white, with no gray areas. This rules out ambivalence, dilemmas, and other emotionally complicated experiences.”

Not trusting your instincts- parents didn’t validate feelings

Did not race to adulthood, but did erase my own emotional needs