Paul Warren’s Reviews > Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents > Status Update

Exploring new ways of being in relationships

Empathized can feel worse than person.
Question, to keep checking, does Lauren want to get better?

“Now he saw more alternatives, asking himself, Do I really have to do it right now? And if it's necessary, how and when am I going to fit in the other things I want to do? He learned to first ask himself what he wanted to do, making choices on his own behalf and beating the inner voice to the punch.”

“Now he saw more alternatives, asking himself, Do I really have to do it right now? And if it's necessary, how and when am I going to fit in the other things I want to do? He learned to first ask himself what he wanted to do, making choices on his own behalf and beating the inner voice to the punch.”

What are my “child hopes”?

“Feeling guilty isn't an emergency. Observe what's going on and silently narrate it to yourself in specific words. Mentally describing what's happening helps move you from your brain's emotional centers to its more objec-tive, logical areas.”

Instead of what feels good, what makes me feel uncomfortable or anxious might be better path to true self.
Known my strengths.

The true self stuff sounds like new age nonsense compared to the rest

“They are so familiar with supplying the sensitivity that was missing in their family members that they automatically do this with everyone.
They make up for other people's lack of engagement by seeing them as nicer and more considerate than they really are.”

“In contrast, externalizers engage in behaviors that often exasperate and anger others, so when they need help, others typically want to keep their distance.
However, externalizers usually keep acting up until somebody steps in to help them. Conversely, internalizers may suffer in silence and continue to look just fine,”