Alex Weller’s Reviews > The Calvin and Hobbes Portable Compendium Set 1 > Status Update

Calvin asks his father why he lives in their house with Calvin's mom, instead of in an apartment with several scantily-clad female roommates. Calvin's father is completely dumbfounded, and punishes Calvin by taking away his TV privileges. Sorry, Calvin.

It's dinnertime again, and Calvin refuses to eat the green stuff his parents made for dinner. Calvin's dad tells him it's a plate of toxic waste that will turn him into a mutant, and Calvin instantly digs in with gusto. His mom, however, isn't so thrilled about the methods Dad uses to get Calvin to eat.

To Calvin's dismay, his mother serves him oatmeal for dinner. But Calvin's oatmeal comes to life and Calvin tries to kill it with utensils, creating a huge mess in the dining room. Calvin's mother gets angry and yells at Calvin's dad, blaming his chromosome as the reason they didn't have a little girl instead. Geez! Poor dad.

Susie goes to Calvin and asks if he wants to play House. When Calvin asks how you play, Susie explains the rules: She and Calvin both get home from work, bitch about their jobs, then argue over whose turn it is to microwave dinner. Susie has a ... really interesting home life.

Calvin is hammering nails into the coffee table. When his mom gets angry and asks what he's doing, Calvin becomes confused himself and asks if it's a trick question. Lol!

Calvin and Hobbes are out sledding, and Calvin asks when bedtime is. Hobbes says he thinks it's in six or seven hours, then asks Calvin why he's asking. Calvin says that with luck, Mom will notice they're missing by then. Their sled has just gone off a cliff! Oh damn!

It's Christmas, but Calvin fearfully explains to Hobbes that he didn't get him anything for Christmas. Hobbes is unfazed and tells Calvin he didn't get HIM anything either, but he gives Calvin a tiger hug for being his best friend. All is well, and both are happy. How cute!

It's Christmas Night, and Calvin and Hobbes wake up at midnight to try to trap Santa in the fireplace and steal his stack of presents. Damn! Someone's about to go on the last-minute naughty list.

Calvin complains about Hobbes not having a stocking, asking where Santa is going to put Hobbes's "loot". His mom tells him she will make Hobbes a stocking. After Calvin leaves, his mom questions his dad about "Hobbes's loot", but the dad says he is done shopping.

Calvin and Hobbes build a snow fortress together, and Calvin goes on a tirade, proclaiming that their fortress in impenetrable and that he and Hobbes will attack anybody who attacks them, and win. But to Calvin's surprise, Hobbes pulls a sneaky move and chucks a snowball at him. Damn!