JasperKazai’s Reviews > The Courtship of Princess Leia > Status Update

Also this is one of the most arrogant-sounding About the Author sections I've ever seen. Boasting about having a readership in the millions. Yeah, well, your book sucks ass. Sorry. But it's quite possible he didn't write that himself, so I can't judge him too harshly. Also, he's dead now, so there's that too.

Such an anticlimactic end to Zsinj. But it's because none of the context from the X-Wing series existed. Iron Fist wasn't even described as being a Super Star Destroyer. Sure seemed like Wolverton was describing a regular ISD. I wonder why Allston chose to focus on and expand Zsinj, knowing how disappointing his eventual end was.

Wouldn't your own teeth exploding inside your head have a pretty high chance of outright killing you? The shrapnel would do insane damage. Well, at the very least, there's no way in hell that Han should still be conscious after all that.

How many prisoners are at this prison? Gethzerion just killed 50 of them, then threatened to kill 500 if Han didn't comply, then another 500 after that if he still didn't comply. It might not be completely accurate, but that's probably in the ballpark at least. That's a lot of fuckin' prisoners for a prison on a backwater planet that was abandoned shortly after it was built. Doesn't make much sense.

I guess I should switch to page count instead of percent, due to these SW ebooks having the last ~30% be filled with other novel excerpts. It's still not completely accurate, but probably closer. In fact, the only reason I ever switched to percentage was because the old Kindle Fire I first started reading ebooks on didn't display the page number. But I've been using a Kindle Paperwhite for years now, and it does.

Wait, wtf? Han just said he knew some port authority codes from the Old Republic. How? He was a child when the Empire began. Only an adult would know codes like that. I know this was pre-prequels so the timeline of the Empire being 20 years wasn't set in stone, but still. Han was in his late 20s during Episode IV. Does Wolverton think the Empire was only around for a few years??

Rancors being able to speak to one another and tell stories is dumb. They're just supposed to be monsters, man, don't overthink it. But it's one of the least egregious things about this novel, so whatever.
Isolder comes up with the harvester droid plan because they're apparently Hapan models. But Hapes was supposed to be isolationist for the past 20+ years, so what is a Hapan droid doing on a backwater planet? HMM?!

Luke thinking Isolder is somehow suitable for Jedi training even though he has absolutely no reason to think so is stupid. Han asserting that the deed he has means he owns everything on the planet is stupid and childlike. Owning an ENTIRE PLANET is nonsense. The Emperor being 'afraid' of the Nightsisters is laughable. They are primitives. They could not withstand the Empire's military might. This is so stupid.

Luke is far too wise for the point in the timeline this is set at. The Jedi Academy trilogy is still a few years off. Luke barely knows shit, yet Wolverton has him act like he's already a proficient Jedi.
Hell, even Threepio barely seems like the actual character. How do you fuck that up?! Easiest character to write, and yet he still can't get it right. God damn, this book sucks way more ass than I remembered.

Han ordered strikes against Zsinj in an attempt to weaken the border and then resigned his commission. That doesn't make any sense. They wouldn't keep following those orders, then.
The infamous sticking point of this book is how Han shoots Leia with a mind control gun, kidnaps her, and this leads to them getting married. I can't begin to describe how utterly stupid all of this is.