Rhiannon Bacon’s Reviews > The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward > Status Update

Boundaries never require input or compliance from another person. For example, you might try to set a boundary with your wife that you want to get to the airport two hours ahead of departure. Asking her to leave early is a request. A boundary would be to tell her, "If you choose not to leave for the airport on time, I will choose to take an Uber and meet you there." Boundaries are all about you and your choices.

There's a famous Buddhist saying that you can apply to intimacy: "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." Said another way, conflict is inevitable, but fighting is optional.

Genuine self-compassion is a daring quest to know every corner of your inner world. It is a journey to befriend ALL of the parts of yourself. Genuine self-compassion requires you to refuse to abandon even the most shadowy parts of your psyche. Not all behaviors are acceptable, but all parts are valuable.

Every shadow part has the potential to provide valuable gifts. The solution is to develop a relationship with and an outlet for your shadow parts. When you begin to get curious about your inner world, you realize it's often the parts of yourself you hate the most that are trying the hardest to help you.

We're trained to value goodness over wholeness.

Shadow work is just a fancy way to say "being honest with yourself about yourself."

Part of the reason you sometimes feel crazy is because you've likely been taught to seek balance. There's definitely a place for balance-seeking...But balance is not how a healthy nervous system operates. Rather than a static nervous system, a dynamic system is the goal. A dynamic system is capable of change and smoothly transitions between active and resting states.

Trauma is not an illness – it is an injury and it can heal.

When you start feeling sick...you stay hydrated and rest. You don't think, 'This is just who I am.'

The thinking of [the 1500s] also produced a belief that persists to this day—the belief that feeling stuck is due to laziness or lack of motivation. Somehow, despite centuries of progress, laziness continues to be the shaming and judgemental explanation for science-based behavior. Lazy is a moral judgement—not a biological reality.