abbey walker’s Reviews > The Passion According to G.H. > Status Update

“Giving up must be a choice. Giving up is the most sacred choice of a life. Giving up is the true human instant. And this alone, is the very glory of my condition.
Giving up is a revelation.”

“since I need to know exactly this: am I feeling what I am feeling, or am I feeling what I would like to feel? or am I feeling what I might need to feel?”

“No, I don’t want to give you the fright of my love. If you’re afraid of me, I’ll be afraid of me. Don’t be scared of the pain.”

“But you’re afraid, I know you were always afraid of the ritual. But when one has been tortured to the point of becoming a nucleus, then one starts demonically wanting to serve the ritual, even if the ritual means consuming oneself – just as in order to have the incense the only way to get it is to burn the incense.”

“My error, however, must be the path of a truth: since only when I err do I step out of what I know and what I understand. If “truth” were whatever I could understand – it would end up being just a small truth, one my size.”

“For the present has no hope, and the present has no future: the future will be exactly once again present.”

“But what in abyss between the word and what it was trying to do, what an abyss between the word love and the love that doesn’t even have a human meaning— because— because love is living matter. Is love living matter?”

“But if I screamed even once, I might never again be able to stop. If I screamed nobody could ever help me again; whereas, if I never revealed my neediness, I wouldn’t scare anybody, and they would help me unawares; but only if I didn’t scare anybody by venturing outside the rules.”

“Well speaking to you, scare you and make me lose you? but if I don’t speak I’ll be lost, and in losing myself lose you.”

“How could I explain that my greatest fear is precisely of: being? and yet there is no other way. How can I explain that my greatest fear is living whatever comes? how to explain that I can’t stand seeing, just because life isn’t what I thought but something else — as if I knew what! Why is seeing such disorganization?”