Mel’s Reviews > 10 Things That Never Happened > Status Update
Mel
is on page 29 of 392
"Because Croydon is the head office, it's in a slightly nicer retail park than our home store up north. It's not quite a proper shopping centre like Meadowhall back in Sheffield or Liverpool ONE back home, and it's certainly not an American style "mall", but they share a car park with the Vue cinema and there's a PizzaExpress a few doors down, so-"
OMG contemporary fic is so fucking BORING why do I even bother!?
— Jan 26, 2026 09:58PM
OMG contemporary fic is so fucking BORING why do I even bother!?
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Mel’s Previous Updates
Mel
is on page 334 of 392
Like I know we've shagged and that changes things, but I didn't think my cock was the Ghost of Christmas Past.
— Jan 28, 2026 03:30AM
Mel
is on page 178 of 392
He stares into his coffee. He takes it the same colour as his eyes.
The way I leaned back, closed the cover on my bookmark, and just grinned. What a line.
— Jan 27, 2026 07:15PM
The way I leaned back, closed the cover on my bookmark, and just grinned. What a line.
Mel
is on page 102 of 392
"And Jack, how many times must I tell you not to smoke in my house?"
"At least a few more times, I dare say."
Hahahaha!! Legit laughed at the outrageous queer sass. That Marlene Dietrich, Cruella deVille cigarette holder. Such a queen.
— Jan 27, 2026 06:38AM
"At least a few more times, I dare say."
Hahahaha!! Legit laughed at the outrageous queer sass. That Marlene Dietrich, Cruella deVille cigarette holder. Such a queen.
Mel
is on page 67 of 392
The moment the carrier's open, I dash over and try to cram Gollum in. It mostly goes okay, apart from the help-I'm-being-murdered noises, except he manages to get one paw sticking out the end like he's in Jurassic Park and he's just been dragged into the velociraptor enclosure."
Never mind, all is forgiven. Imagining the Jurassic Park rewrite with just a massive cat paw instead sent me!
— Jan 27, 2026 05:58AM
Never mind, all is forgiven. Imagining the Jurassic Park rewrite with just a massive cat paw instead sent me!
