Mars’s Reviews > Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead > Status Update

I wish that I find something distracting enough to occupy my mind with thoughts unrelated to the futility of my existence, or that I die in the least disruptive way possible for my family.

-

Ah~ depression . :(

Oh.. this js where the heavy parts start…

My mother had a baby, and her mother had a baby, and her mother had a baby. Every woman in my family before me lived to have a baby—just so that baby could grow up to have another baby. If I don't have a baby, then all of those women reproduced just so that I could exist. I am the final product. I am the final baby.

I felt incredibly sad and aware of how strange it was to feel so sad in such a bright, pleasant setting.

I felt like I was never in the moment I was in. I was always looking back, or worried about the future.

He laughs and repeats, "I wish I were dead. I wish I were dead."
I shove him in the corner. He keeps repeating, "I wish I were dead”.
I punch him. “Stop saying that!”

-

I SAY DASURVVV MABUNTOL

"You know, you haven't replied to any of my texts since Christmas”, I confront him.
He rolls his eyes, now tripping to take off his other shoe.
"I thought you were dead," I tell him.
He snorts. "I wish I were dead."
I feel intense anger boil in my
stomach.

-

Nako. No no talaga.

Everyone in this room has managed to grow old despite how easy it is to die.

[…]

Terrible things have probably happened to every single person in this room, and yet here they are.

Here I am.

"I already watched this movie last week." She nods at the TV in front of us. "I thought you'd like it, so I wanted to watch it again with you"
"Oh," I exhale.
"I'm sorry I lied and said I hadn't seen it," she says, throwing a blanket over us.
"That's okay," I reply.

-
Nawa’y lahat 🙂‍↕️

I am enraptured by how entertained Eleanor is by this movie. She thinks I'm laughing at the movie, but I'm not-I'm laughing because I am endeared by her. I'm looking at her exposed gummy smile and listening to her quack with laughter. I find it so endearing, it becomes dif ficult for me to inhale. My vision is blurred in tears, and I am incapable of speech.