Mars’s Reviews > Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead > Status Update

There are a lot of things on earth that I think would be considered magic if they weren't real. Dreaming, for example. The fact that babies are created inside of women's bodies; the whole concept of conception. Cas-tles. Trees. Whales. Lions. Birds. Rainbows. Water. The northern lights. Vol-canos. Lightning. Fire.

I wish that I find something distracting enough to occupy my mind with thoughts unrelated to the futility of my existence, or that I die in the least disruptive way possible for my family.

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Ah~ depression . :(

"You're an idiot," I hear myself saying. Stop. "And you're the worst kind of idiot because you have no idea that you're an idiot."

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HAHAHAHA SHE’S FED UP

Oh.. this js where the heavy parts start…

My mother had a baby, and her mother had a baby, and her mother had a baby. Every woman in my family before me lived to have a baby—just so that baby could grow up to have another baby. If I don't have a baby, then all of those women reproduced just so that I could exist. I am the final product. I am the final baby.

I felt incredibly sad and aware of how strange it was to feel so sad in such a bright, pleasant setting.

I felt like I was never in the moment I was in. I was always looking back, or worried about the future.

He laughs and repeats, "I wish I were dead. I wish I were dead."
I shove him in the corner. He keeps repeating, "I wish I were dead”.
I punch him. “Stop saying that!”

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I SAY DASURVVV MABUNTOL

"You know, you haven't replied to any of my texts since Christmas”, I confront him.
He rolls his eyes, now tripping to take off his other shoe.
"I thought you were dead," I tell him.
He snorts. "I wish I were dead."
I feel intense anger boil in my
stomach.

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Nako. No no talaga.

Everyone in this room has managed to grow old despite how easy it is to die.

[…]

Terrible things have probably happened to every single person in this room, and yet here they are.

Here I am.