Mallory’s Reviews > The Wonderful Wizard of Oz > Status Update

Not Dorothy being afraid that Aunt Em and Uncle Henry simply can’t AFFORD a funeral service. XD

“Am I really wonderful?” asked the Scarecrow. “You are unusual,” replied Glinda. Not this witch roasting the Scarecrow TO HELL.

Dorothy kissed the Lion and Tin Woodman and even Glinda, but only hugged the Scarecrow? This poor guy cannot catch a freaking break.

Aww, Aunt Em actually DOES care about her! :)

Tigers and elephants and bears and wolves and foxes… oh my!

Why does every fantasy novel always have to have a giant spider in it? These 20th century authors were OBSESSED.

I’m not saying attacking the spider in its sleep isn’t smart, but it’s not brave or courageous. The Lion is truly still a coward at heart.

And what is WITH Baum and decapitations? If I had a nickel for every one, I’d have like $5.

A country made of china is so random, doesn’t really fit the rest of the world if I’m being honest.

The princess really said “that bitch ugly.”

Did Mr. Joker just casually say she has a stick up her ass? XD

I THINK I COULD LOVE YOU DEARLY??? Dorothy just kissed the green girl goodbye and now she’s already flirting with a china doll? Also, wanting to put a sentient creature on the mantle is WILD.

Dorothy and the pretty green girl KISSED, you say???

Love the way the Scarecrow put no one in charge as he, too, abandoned the people of the Emerald City.

WHY MUST WE ALWAYS JUMP TO MURDER? The Tin Woodman just seriously maimed that tree, it shivered AS IF IN PAIN, and no one bats an eye. I thought he was supposed to have the most tender heart now? Tell me he is not going to chop down more trees to make a ladder.

“I am as brave as any beast that ever lived, if not braver,” said the Lion, MODESTLY. XD

“You must have been thinking again.” Tin Woodman, the sassmaster that you are.

Scarecrow going from being on a pole to being king feels like a Jesus metaphor.

If the Monkeys can’t fulfill what was asked of them, it shouldn’t count as a used wish. Regardless, she STILL HAS A WISH LEFT. WISH TO GO TO GLINDA’S.

So the Wizard left willingly, and leaving Dorothy behind was an accident. Why did they start filling the balloon before Toto was account for?

I’m sorry, I missed the part where THE SCARECROW TAKES OVER RULING ALL OF THE EMERALD CITY AFTER THE WIZARD LEAVES??? He’s immortal! Does he rule forever?? Why did Oz pick him anyway? Why not the Tin Woodman? I have so many questions. Scarecrow deserves a kingdom tho.

Not the wizard stuffing the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman like Build-a-Bears.

But also they’re so stupid. He admitted to being a charlatan, but all three of them are still like “but you can still do magic, right?” Dude, NO.

“I have always liked you as you were.” DID YOU, THOUGH, DOROTHY? Liked how you could take him for granted, more like. Afraid he’ll stop catering to you. The Scarecrow deserves better.

“They grew vexed that Oz should treat them in so poor a fashion, after sending them to undergo hardships and slavery.” Baum has such a way with words.

Not the Scarecrow immediately turning to blackmail XD

The Tin Woodman pulling out his ax at the drop of a hat.

“You’re a humbug.” The Scarecrow is so iconic.

The Wizard lands in a new place and immediately demands a city “just to amuse himself”?

Could the Winkies not have given them a golden compass or something? I mean really.

Not the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman being cool with how the monkey’s mutilated them.

Wow, a Winged Monkey enslavement backstory was not on my Wizard of Oz bingo card. I can’t believe I forgot all of this.

All the boys being too ugly and stupid for Gayelette XD Is the current Witch of the North descended from her and Quelala?

You’re telling me that the Winkies worked on the Tin Woodman for THREE DAYS and not once during the interim Dorothy and the Lion thought they might try to save the Scarecrow. Dorothy sheds so many tears for the Tin Woodman, but scarcely a thought for the Scarecrow. How unjust. Only the Tin Woodman seems to care about his boo.

Is Winkie country yellow because of all the gold them seem to have? It literally glows?