Status Update

Dab is 16% done

So they’re basically a couple already, they just don’t sleep together. That’s because they’re friends, and that, as we know, is the opposite of being in a relationship. People in relationships are not friends. Not sure they even like each other. They probably have friends for that.

— Feb 26, 2026 01:55PM

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Dab’s Previous Updates

Dab is 78% done

The hero asked an OW out and I’m 100% rooting for them.

— Mar 01, 2026 09:25AM

Dab is 73% done

He forgot to use a condom. He’s a GYNECOLOGIST! 😩

— Mar 01, 2026 07:18AM

Dab is 69% done

So she told some chick who was hitting on him that he wasn’t single, and then she rejected him. Girl! wtf!!!

— Mar 01, 2026 06:22AM

Dab is 10% done

She’s going to the apartment of some guy she’s never met (not the hero). They spoke once online and agreed to have sex. She has pepper spray, just in case. I’m terrified.

— Feb 25, 2026 01:27PM