Status Update

Jordan is 67% done

This narrator makes everything sound like an annoying millennial

— Mar 06, 2026 07:47AM

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Jordan’s Previous Updates

Jordan is 54% done

A girl with the nickname anarchy Amie about to use a “stainless steel buttplug and glass dildo” thankfully we know the materials!

— Mar 05, 2026 06:38AM

Jordan is 53% done

Wait suddenly AMALIE is a makeup influencer?
Hahahaha this is so fucking hilarious I’m crying

— Mar 05, 2026 06:37AM

Jordan is 52% done

Do people really have *this* much sex? Lol

— Mar 04, 2026 07:17PM

Jordan is 49% done

— Mar 04, 2026 07:07PM

Jordan is 2% done

Their names are AMALIE and LEXINGTON?

— Mar 03, 2026 08:23AM

Jordan is starting

A Jacob Morgan audio but GODDAMNIT why do people hire Muffy Newtown to narrate she’s fucking awfullllllllll

— Mar 03, 2026 08:19AM

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