Alex Weller’s Reviews > The Calvin and Hobbes Portable Compendium Set 1 > Status Update

Calvin is Spaceman Spiff once again, trying to run back to his spaceship from a disgusting scum being. But Spiff is too late, and the alien grabs him before he can get inside. In real life, it's his teacher trying to get Calvin back inside because recess is over. Of course.

Calvin complains that it's not fair that his parents get to stay up late but he doesn't. When Dad tells him the world isn't fair, Calvin complains that it's never unfair in his favor. I think we can all relate to that, Calvin.

Calvin must have done something really bad to Dad's car. He asks Hobbes a bunch of hypothetical questions that imply he did something that caused the car to go MIA. Calvin and Hobbes are now planning to flee to Mexico to avoid the wrath of his parents. Boy, is Calvin gonna get creamed for this.

Hobbes wakes up from a dream he had where he fought a ferocious weasel. He asks Calvin what it means, and a wounded Calvin responds that Hobbes is sleeping on the floor tonight. Yeesh!

Hobbes has burst a seam, so Mom goes to get her sewing kit. Hobbes isn't happy and complains about it. Calvin asks what's the big deal about getting a few stitches, and Hobbes says it's because Mom never uses anesthetic. Can't say I blame you there, Hobbes.

Calvin pretends to be Spaceman Spiff again, ready to fire his blaster at a Zarg. In reality, it's Susie. The two are in class, and Susie threatens to have him hauled to the principal's office for shooting paper clips at her. Calvin's response is to imagine that his blaster just got jammed. Good decision, Cal.

Calvin and Hobbes follow Calvin's map to dig for buried treasure. They successfully unearth a buried wallet full of money. But Calvin reveals it's Dad's, and Calvin buried it last week. Somehow, I feel like Dad is not going to be very happy.

Calvin's ready to take a bath and puts his rubber ducky in first. But not as a companion. It's to test for sharks. Uh, that's ... nice, Calvin.

Calvin wants to meet a little boy from Communist Russia with dreams of travelling to the free world of America, so he can tell the boy how awful America really is. His parents are making him eat lima beans for dinner. Hate to tell you, Cal, but in the year 2026, there are worse things going on than kids being forced to eat lima beans.

Calvin and Susie are having lunch. After criticizing Susie's bologna sandwich, Calvin imagines his lunch bag coming to life and attacking him, but he manages to kill it with his thermos until it bleeds jelly. Susie now knows why this seat wasn't taken. Words of wisdom, Susie.