Alex Weller’s Reviews > The Calvin and Hobbes Portable Compendium Set 1 > Status Update

Calvin and Hobbes are out watching for UFOs, and Calvin tells Hobbes to watch the moon because aliens usually come from behind it. But Mom sneaks up on Calvin and berates him for being out so late at night. As they go back to bed, Calvin comments that mothers, on the other hand, sneak up from behind the Pachysandra patch. Sneaky Mom!

Calvin pretends he is Safari Al, adventuring in the jungle, when he is attacked by a giant gorilla. Turns out it's Mom, telling him to clean his room because it's a jungle in there. Lol!

Calvin's mom has to sit in the waiting room while the doctor gives Calvin a shot, all the while listening to Calvin's dramatic exaggerations of what's going on. Yeah, I don't like shots either but damn, Calvin!

At a doctor's appointment, Calvin freaks out over many of the doctor's tools, worrying they will hurt. When Calvin asks about that ear-telescope thing, the doctor tells him it's a cattle prod, which hurts "less than a branding iron". Calvin faints, and the doctor comments that little kids have no sense of humor.

Without permission from his parents, Calvin attempts to parachute out his bedroom window with his blanket. Sadly, it doesn't work out exactly as he planned, and Hobbes doesn't think Mom is gonna be so happy about the rosebushes. Uh oh!

Calvin asks his dad to buy him a flamethrower, but Dad refuses, even though Calvin insists he won't use it in the house. Yeah, no, Calvin. Just ... no.

To boost their coolness, Calvin suggests he and Hobbes wear dark glasses. Hobbes has trouble seeing through the glasses and is worried he'll bump into things. But Calvin says they don't have to move. They just hang around and look cool. Interesting philosophy, Cal.

Mom wakes Calvin up in the morning, but Calvin isn't very motivated to wake up. And he doesn't seem to care for her incentive about the early bird getting the worm. Yeah, that's pretty gross, Mom.

Calvin and Hobbes find a decoder ring in Calvin's box of cereal. Calvin excitedly comments that they can send each other secret messages in code so that Mom and Dad won't be able to understand them ... not that they do anyway. Yeah, I guess you're right, Cal.

Calvin wants to show Susie a magic trick. First, he needs Susie to give him an ordinary quarter, and then he'll disappear. Susie isn't enthused and starts pounding Calvin, who reminds her that it was a TRICK. Yeah, not very nice, kid.