Kait’s Reviews > Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself > Status Update

Most codependents are frightened, needy vulnerable children who are aching and desperate to be loved and cared for

The stark truth every human being must face or continue to run from- that of being ultimately and solely responsible for taking care of ourselves.

Acts of kindness are not kind unless we feel good about ourselves, what we are doing, and the person who are doing it for

“ Take responsibility for your choices. Do we want to be doing, and realize how we become angry when we don’t.”

“ at the heart of most besties is a day we don’t feel good about ourselves. We don’t feel lovable, so we settle for being needed. We feel compelled to do a particular thing to prove how good we are”

Controlling blocks access to my higher self. It blocks other people‘s ability to grow. It stops events from happening naturally. It prevents me from enjoying people or events. Control is in illusion. It does not work. We cannot control anyone’s emotions, thoughts or choices. People ultimately do what they want to do. The only person you can change, now or ever, is yourself.

Feelings are important that they’re just feelings. Thoughts are important that they’re just thoughts. They are all subject to change. Give yourself in others room to move. Talk and be who they are. To be human. Give like a chance to happen. Give yourself an opportunity to enjoy it.

We react because we’re anxious and afraid of what has happened, what is happening, and what might happen. We react as though everything is a crisis because we have lived with so many crisis for so long that our reactions have become habitual. We react because we think we have to react. We don’t have to. We don’t have to be so afraid of people. We don’t have to forfeit our peace; power to pause, think & feel

By being reactionary and responding urgently and compulsively, we are indirectly allowing others to control us and tell us what to do. When we react, we forfeit our personal power to think, feel, and behave in our best interests. We allow others to determine when we will be happy, peaceful, upset, and what we will say, do, think and feel. We forfeit the right to feel peaceful on our own whim

“ Worrying about people and problems doesn’t help. It doesn’t solve problems, it doesn’t help other people, and it doesn’t help us. It is wasted energy.”