Jack Hand’s Reviews > The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness > Status Update

Problem behaviour is attention seeking

The courage to be normal. Being normal is “not being incapable”. I think he’s trying to link it to the root of self acceptance. Maybe if you realise you are first normal, you can set the foundation for growth.

Consciousness that “I have the ability” links to self acceptance and self reliance, consciousness that “people are my comrades” links to confidence in others and contribution to others, which leads back to self acceptance.

Workaholics value themselves based on “acts” but what about when they’re old and can’t. The level of being is a more stable value.

Nothing really happened, just summarised stuff

Don’t act to satisfy someone’s idea of “good” as in don’t look for praise. Help someone towards whatever they’re trying to do.

Treat relationship relationships with others as horizontal. Equal but not the same.

Praising and rebuking is a sign that you were in a vertical relationship. Giving praise is a subconscious way of saying you’re better.

Being concerned with how people see you (satisfy your desire for recognition) is self centred because you are only thinking about be “I”.

You’re not the center of the world. People are not living to satisfy your expectations nor are you living to satisfy theirs.

Think about the larger community.

Not one person on earth can be liked by everyone someone will dislike you so don’t live trying to be liked but also don’t live trying to be disliked. Freedom is not wanting to be disliked but not minding if you are.

In all relationships you hold all the cards because you’re only responsible for what you think and do not what they think.

People can change in tandem with (not due to) your own change.

“Whose problem is this?” shouldn’t be used to isolate, but to set the “distance” of the relationship.

If you never feel lost, you’re probably following a path someone set for you. Some people like that because it brings comfort. Feeling lost is a sign you’re making your own path.

Trying to satisfy everyone never ends correctly.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink - forcing change while ignoring the persons intentions leads to an intense reaction.

Worry about yourself. Don’t make yourself worry about others if you’ve done your part for them. Example is if someone is not happy with a decision you made and you believe it was the right one, that’s their “task” (issue).

“Whose problem is this?”

Recognition from others is not needed.

Education by reward and punishment leads to living a life around satisfying people’s expectations.