average human’s Reviews > The Gods Veiling > Status Update

Creed appeared first, followed by Riven. Kyzen came bounding in shortly after with a smile plastered to his face. The other two grew excited until they realized he was alone.
It’s my little anomaly they’re waiting for.
It’s baffling.
When it comes to how my brothers respond to Thayla, that’s an answer that continues to escape me.
Creed finally acknowledges me by taking a step closer to my desk. I don’t bother directing my attention to him. Unlike them, I can work and listen at the same time.
“We’re going to be useful. We’re here to help you, help Thayla with her power.”
“Your help isn’t necessary.”
“Is that because you like dominating all her time?” Riven asks as he attempts to sit in her chair, but Kyzen has the proper mind to stop him.
“No.”
“Well, then what is it? I didn’t clear my schedule to sit here and look at your beautiful matching faces.”
“Your face is nearly identical to ours. The four of us together will fluster her not help her.”
“I enjoy her being flustered.”
I stop my note-taking and cut my eyes to him. The way he rattles her brings him great pleasure, but then he pulls back again, leaving her flustered in irritation. His chaotic pattern is nothing of shock to me, but it’s a confusing cycle for her.
Creed’s the same, with the exception he doesn’t tease her in the way Riven does. He protects, pulls back, and observes.
Kyzen and I are the only consistent. That’s why she flocks to us when she puts her pride to the side and asks for something.
“She needs to learn. She can’t do that properly with the two of you around. Ultimately, it’ll be her choice to make if she wants you here or not. I wouldn’t hold my breath on that, though, if I were you.”
I resume my writing as they stay silent for a blissful three seconds.
My chest jerks and an irritated huff sounds through my mind. I’ve read every piece of material I have that could explain why this sensation continues to happen. I even wasted time reading old texts from the nonmagical realm in case I’d magically developed an illness seen there.
Creed checked me over and assured me that nothing was wrong. Despite logically knowing if he sensed nothing, no one would, I still went to the healing villas to have a second opinion. They confirmed what he said.
My conclusion is that it has to do with the little anomaly. If my brothers were quiet long enough to hear, they’d realize her laugh is traveling through the Athenaeum.
The sensation is heightened when she’s near. It’s still present in her absence, but nothing as distracting and disruptive as when she’s close.
“Well, that was quicker than I—”
“How do you all feel about me dating?”
The room finally descends into a silence I’ve been craving for the last hour since Creed showed up. I seize the opportunity and read over the notes the Chancellors took during our meeting this morning.
“Repeat that,” Creed demands and I internally roll my eyes. She spoke loud and clear, I’m not sure what he needs repeated.
“How would you all feel if I went out with someone?”
The energy shifts in the room and I tilt my head to the side as I continue my work. For whatever reason, what she’s asked isn’t making my brothers very happy.
“Who?” Creed’s knuckles whiten on the edge of my desk a few inches from my work and my eyebrows scrunch.
“I don’t know, anyone.”
Anyone? What is it she’s trying to ask?
The only sound heard in my office is my pen flowing flawlessly over my parchment. This conversation is pointless since my brothers continue to search for answers in silence. She’s barely making coherent sentences, so until she can use her words to make more sense, I have nothing to add.
“Who the fuck asked you out?” “No.” “Are you interested in someone?”
I finally sit straight in my chair as their voices boom around me. I hadn’t realized they all had formed a line shoulder to shoulder to stare Thayla down. She takes a step farther into my office and slams my door. The force behind it makes my bookshelves rattle, and I lay my pen down.
Slowly standing from my chair, I come around my desk and cross my arms. My blank glare is pinned to Kyzen. For a mediator, he’s doing a poor job at whatever this is going on.
“What is it exactly that you’re asking, Thayla?” My tone is calm and soothing, but apparently not to my brothers’ liking.
“I know you’re a fucking recluse, Amick, but you know what the hell dating is,” Riven shouts as he throws his hands up.
“Yes, engaging in a planned social activity. I’m not understanding the fuss and disruption you’re all causing in my office. She dates all the time.”
“Not with a fucking boyfriend,” Creed growls and Kyzen pinches the bridge of his nose.
I cock my head at Thayla to see if that’s what she’s referring to. “A boyfriend? As in a male you exclusively engage in social activities with?”
She sighs and drops her hands from her hips. “Yes, Amick.”
“I’m still not understanding the issue then. I’m your boyfriend and my brothers have no issue with that.”
“What?” the three of them shout at me.
“We engage in activities together daily.”
They all pivot their bodies toward me, so I mimic the motion. Creed takes a step closer toward me. “The two of you do what together daily?”
“By the Valories, Amick.” Thayla tosses her hands in the air. “Their minds have gone straight to sex, while yours…hell, I don’t know where yours is at.”
Both fire and ice slither through my body. Rarely, by that I mean I can recall the number of times and the events in the thirty-five years of my life that caused me to feel this way. It’s happened twice now with her being involved.
My mind blanks while I get the feeling under control and stop the fever coursing across my skin. It takes considerable effort to force my muscles to obey me, but as they do, I center myself. Thayla’s eyes widen when mine sear into hers.
“You want to know how we feel about you romantically dating? Am I now understanding the point to this conversation?”
“I…I didn’t exactly specify that, but I’d assume after a while, it’d become romantic.”
My brothers lose their minds. Their voices rise to unbearable volumes that cause my ears to ring and my heart to pound erratically.
“Out.”
“Fuck no. We’re getting down to the bottom of this and she’s going to tell us who the hell asked her out,” Riven argues.
“I said out.” Thayla turns on her heel, ready to do as I commanded. “I wasn’t talking to you.”
Her shoulders tense as she slowly lowers her hand from the handle. The glares from the others heat my face, but I don’t turn my attention from our daring Binder.
“Come on. We’ll talk about this with her later.” Kyzen finally steps in, but if he had done his job already, it wouldn’t be coming to this.
He, Creed, and Riven stomp from the room, sparing Thayla glances as they go. “You’ve done it now, little burden. Coming in here asking stupid-ass questions like that.”
“Fuck you, Riven.”
“If that’s what you wanted, angel, all you had to do was tell me so.” He boops her on her nose as he steps away, and I know what she’s preparing to do before she even does.
“Don’t.”
Her clenched fists hang limply at her sides. Her glare is unwavering until the click of the door makes her flinch. I take a step toward her.
“Explain to me what brought this on.”
Her chest heaves in measured, deep breaths the closer I grow to her. She stands her ground as I knew she would. “Nothing. I was just trying to figure out what everyone’s opinions were on this subject.”
“You’re lying, Mysenta. You have no control over your body’s reaction to your emotions.” I raise my fingers slowly and run them down her ear. “When you lie, your earlobes turn red. You don’t wear your hair down enough to hide it. I won’t ask again for the truth.”
I watch in amazement as her pupils dilate. I’m still not sure exactly which of her emotions cause that as it happens quite frequently.
She releases a slow breath as I let go of her ear. “I was asked out, just a moment ago in the dining hall. I don’t want to tell you or the others by who. It just made me think about how I don’t know how any of this works.”
I hide the natural reaction of my jealousy behind my unblinking eyes. It’s a foreign emotion. One I’m not willing to process in the middle of this conversation.
“How any of what works?”
“Relationships, dating. As a Binder, or I guess any member of the Valtrue, is that an accepted or expected practice to date outside your group? Everyone just goes about their romantic lives dating around and their partners are just okay with them being tied to four other people for the rest of their lives?”
“Statistically, you have to keep in mind, there’re more gods not in Valtrues than those in completed ones. But yes, that’s an accepted and expected practice. Just because beings are paired in a Valtrue together doesn’t mean they’re romantically compatible.”
“So…you all would be fine with me seeing someone romantically?”
“No. Is that really what you want?”
“Oh my gods, Amick,” she groans, gripping her head, then letting her hands fall fast to her sides. “No, I’m not saying that’s what I want. But I’m still confused. It’d bother you all if I were to see someone, but what, because I’m tied to the four of you, I just have to live the rest of my life and never be with someone again?”
A frown mars my lips, and I observe her sudden flip from calm consideration to this outburst. Her cheeks are flushed, and her breathing is labored, causing her chest to nearly expand until it touches mine.
When I touched her a moment ago, she first moved toward my hand before halting herself. Since last week, her sleep patterns have been interrupted, she’s had mood swings with us all, and Riven’s increasingly called her out on her state of arousal.
“Are you sexually frustrated, Thayla?”
Her gasp is piercing. “What?”

“Has our forced proximity to you caused an increase in your libido? Is your body in need of a release you’re not achieving with yourself?”
Her mouth falls open and my eyes cast down to her lips, then back up. She searches my face like she’s expecting me to know or answer for her.
“I…”
I crowd her until her back presses against the door. Curiosity gets the better of me and I lay my hand on her hip. My gentle squeeze has her breath hitching.
“I believe that’s exactly what’s caused this melodrama. You’re responsive to the slightest touches and you crave more. Is that what you need from me?”
“You’re serious?” she breathes.
“I am.”
“Have…have you ever done that before?”
I arch my brow at her. “Have I ever brought a woman to orgasm?”
Her shocked expression morphs into a sneer. “Yes.”
“Yes, I have.”
“You’re not a virgin?”
“What would ever give you that impression?”
She blinks at me repeatedly.
“My sexual needs aren’t what we’re discussing right now. This is about you and giving you what you need.”
Her twisted features change once more. The look now is unreadable, but I sense she’s not too happy. “I can’t let you do that, Amick.”
“Why not?”
“Because after seeing your brothers’ reactions, I know they’d be hurt or upset. I can’t put us all in that position.”
“I truly loathe admitting when Riven is right, especially when he’s being crude, but if this is what you want or need, all you have to do is tell one of us.”
“One of you.”
“Yes, the choice is yours.”
“And there lies the issue.”
My hand slips from her hip as she turns rapidly and opens my door. I’ve barely had time to dissect the meaning of her words before she’s slipped out of my office completely.
Unlike the normal jerking I’m unfortunately growing accustomed to, this tug is painful. It nearly steals my train of thought and understanding of the emotional issue she’s having.
I pull my door wide with the intention of finding her and finishing our conversation, but I’m bombarded as my brothers storm back in.
“What did you say, Amick?” Kyzen asks as Creed shuts the door. “She’d barely even look at us and told us not to follow her.”
“I got down to the bottom of her issue and why she was asking about dating.”
He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. “Would you just do us a favor and explain what happened when we stepped out?”
“I questioned her on why she was suddenly inquiring about romantic dating. It’s due to the fact living with us has caused her to become sexually frustrated. I offered my help, as well as any of yours, to alleviate that issue. It did nothing but cause a bigger dilemma.”
They each stare at me incredulously. As her Valtrue members, we should’ve noticed these signs sooner and have made her feel comfortable enough to say what it was she wanted.
“You did what?”
I cut my eyes to Creed. “You need to go to the healing villas and have your hearing checked. That’s the second time today you’ve asked someone to repeat themselves after they’ve spoken clearly.”
“It’s called shock, Amick. I was shocked by her asking us how we felt about her dating and I’m even more so by what you fucking said to her. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking our Binder is experiencing a lot of changes that she never wanted to experience. Many of which are completely out of our control. On top of that, her sexual needs aren’t being met, and she can’t have them met.”
Riven barks out a humorless laugh. “Why not? Because you said so? You don’t get to dictate that.”
“We, all five of us, have dictated it. Just now, the four of us made it clear to her we’re not okay with her engaging with other gods. She said that’s not even what she wants, but she now has the dilemma of choosing one of us. She made it clear to me, she won’t be doing that. Therefore, she won’t have her needs met. The three of you would be incapable of managing your jealousy if she were to ever do that and that would cause an irrevocable strain on our dynamic.”
“Oh, fuck you, Amick. Just because the three of us can actually experience emotions unlike you, doesn’t mean you’d just be okay with her being with one of us.”
My body heats at his insult. It’s usually easy to ignore Riven’s constant taunting, but the true anger in his eyes and malicious intent behind throwing my largest flaw in my face add to the discomfort I’ve been feeling since Thayla left.
“I may lack the ability to understand every single emotional response in others and myself, but that doesn’t mean I lack emotions completely. Nor do I lack the capacity to learn. I am learning. For her. I’d be able to control my jealousy. Do you know how?
“Because I have awareness of my shortcomings, even if I don’t broadcast that fact. Which also makes me more than mindful about the fact I’d never be able to meet all her needs. I know and can admit that I’d need one of you to also step in for her. That doesn’t matter, though, because I could never trust one of the three of you to do that for me. Now get the hell out of my office. I’m done with this discussion, and I actually have work to do.”
I stride behind my desk without bothering a glance at any of them. I blink my eyes repeatedly to get his words out of my head.
Sometimes the cruelty in Riven’s voice reminds me of our sperm donor’s. It’s taken me most of our lives to understand that his anger lashes out when he feels like someone is restricting him. We all react in our own ways because of things we experienced.
I believe they tend to forget, though, while they were around other beings, I was locked in a room with nothing but a torch lamp that didn’t talk back to me.
“Amick.”
“I don’t care for your mediation, Kyzen.”
“I know…but I need some clarity on what you just said.”
I sigh as I slowly lay my pen down and look at him. His smile is gone, and he’s shoved his hands in his pockets to hide his shakes. “What part would you like me to clarify?”
“You made it sound like you weren’t just talking about you being in a relationship with Thayla alone, but one of us being in a relationship with her as well. At the same time.”
I shake my head at the breath wasted. “You obviously didn’t need clarification.”
“I did and still do. I don’t understand how that would work.”
“Why do you need to understand? It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. She matters to me and so do you.”
“Then it’s incredibly simple. I’d have my own relationship with her, and you’d have yours. Where I’d lack meeting all her emotional needs, you’d make up for that.”
“But that makes it sound like she gets more from me in the relationship and that doesn’t seem fair to you.”
“I’d make up your shortcomings in return.”
“My shortcomings? What shortcomings do I have?”
“Well, they’re the exact opposite of mine. Your disdain for confrontation stretches to new heights with her. Your first reaction is to appease her, where mine is to push her. Not in the teasing or taunting sense like Riven, but when she gets frustrated with something, I don’t allow her to quit and move on. I make her face it. She needs that.”
He scrunches his nose at me. “I could do that if I had to.”
“But you don’t have to because I do it already.”
He hums and bites his lip. “What about Creed and Riven?”
“What about them?”
“Do you think they’ll be okay with this?”
“No, not at first. They’ll be jealous, as I said. They don’t have to admit anything to me for it to be obvious they have feelings they don’t understand for her. Ultimately, none of this matters. Thayla may not want to make a choice between the four of us, but if this solution is presented to her, she’ll have to make the choice if this arrangement is okay with her or not. All of this is moot without her say-so.”
“Do you plan on talking to her about it?”
“Do you plan on actually going forward with this? I may not feel like you all do, as Riven so kindly pointed out, but I know toying with her about this isn’t okay. It can’t be brought up if you’re not sure.”
“And you are sure?”
“I would’ve never said anything if I wasn’t.”
“Then we’ll talk to her.”
“Preferably after I complete my work. You all have been utter distractions thus far today.”
He snorts and grins mischievously. “Didn’t sound like you were concerned with being distracted when you were offering Thayla a helping hand.”
“I could’ve given her multiple orgasms in the time this conversation has taken. Then we could’ve got to work.”
“Gods, Amick.” He laughs, holding his stomach. “I’ve never heard you talk like this. It’s refreshing.”
“I’ve never had a reason to, nor has this kind of conversation ever interested me before.”
He continues to smile at me for some reason. “I’ll get out of your way and let you get your shit done. I’m going to go find something to do and give Thayla some time to cool off. Unless now would be the time you think I should push her.”
“No. Now is most certainly not the time unless being punched is the sort of thing you’re into.”
“Got it.” He chuckles the whole way out my door and thankfully shuts it without me having to tell him to.
Finally, I release a breath and stare down at the next parchment. The half-erased page and Chancellor’s signed initials at the bottom, though, make my eyes narrow. I could’ve sworn I’d already gone over Ellian’s.
In fact, I did. Three parchments ago.
This type of confusion and nonsense is exactly why I should be present in the Chancellors’ meetings. Not being made to stand outside the door and wait to be handed notes.
As I go to flip his useless second page and continue to the next, my power alights in my mind. With my hand gripping the page, I get sucked into the truth that was scribed without any say-so.
The High Chancellor has put forth a motion that all completed Valtrues be measured monthly by the Volreen. He wants their powers and abilities tested regularly starting after our vote next month.
He’s given no good reasons as to why he wants this change to occur from once-a-year measurements to monthly. His only defense is the gods want to see if their blessings are being honored. Many of the Chancellors are already in agreement.
He’s hiding something. Under his orders, we weren’t to take notes on this topic. Do with this as you need.
My body sways and my mind muddles as my power settles back into place. Touching an object and seeing the truth that isn’t shown on its surface is my strongest ability. It always takes the most out of me, though. Especially when it comes forth unexpectedly.
It’s also an ability the High Chancellor believes I need all my power to achieve.
Ellian knows, though. That’s why he erased the message to try to hide the truth.
I grip the corner of my desk to stop the spinning. The double parchment in my hand slowly becomes one again and I fold it neatly. At home, in my room, all the objects and artifacts on my bookshelves have shown me something along the way.
This will be added to the collection.
The High Chancellor has always been a puppet, but in this matter, I can’t tell if a god is putting him up to this truly or is this his own scheme?
I plan to find out.

86%


I can’t convince myself my canopy top is really the clouds.
Nor can I convince my mind what happened in Amick’s office an hour ago didn’t really happen.
I’m mortified, pissed off, confused, and unfortunately, really fucking sexually frustrated as it was so expressively put.
No one could’ve warned me it’d be Amick that’d put me on the spot like that. Riven, all day. He shamelessly called me out hours ago and then literally laughed about it. Kyzen makes plenty of sexy comments that get me all hot and bothered. Although Creed doesn’t say anything, I’m not blind.
But Amick?
Don’t get me wrong, he’s said multiple things before that’ve made my jaw drop and he’s one of the finest specimens of gods I’ve ever seen, but his compliments in his mind are facts. There’s no flirting, no hidden sexual innuendos, none of that. If he says my skin is soft, that’s exactly what he means. There’s no having to decipher what he says.
He’s got my head all kinds of fucked up right now.
That man meant he’d give me an orgasm right then and there. In his office. With his brothers right outside the door.
I swear to the Valories, my body begged me to scream yes.
In more ways than one.
He was so confident, even if it was in his own smart-ass way.
This entire day, every way I turn, the subject of sex continues to get brought up and every time, my mind travels to one of the four men I live with. It’s an infuriating cycle that’s left me with a concoction of emotions.
I feel like a teenager all over again with her first crush.
Only this time, it’s quadrupled.
Jeez, that memory is just as dreadful and makes my stomach sink more.
My first crush wasn’t Jeremiah, but that’s where he inserted himself into my life romantically. Mind you, I didn’t care to date, and boys were the last thing I was worried about. I had always told myself, my parents would be back, so there’s no reason to get my heart broken when we left.
At seventeen, I drew up the courage to ask out a guy named Baxton. He was Mellcom’s age, so only two years older, and in his friend group. He was always nice, friendly, and included me when Mellcom let me come along with them to do whatever they were doing.
All I did was ask him awkwardly, in front of all their friends, if he wanted to hang out, just the two of us. He laughed. Loudly. Belly gripping. Then patted me on my head and said not a chance.
Jeremiah knocked his ass out right there where he stood, then told me he’d be waiting for whenever I realized I was meant to be with him.
Meridamus said absolutely not.
When he left, Mellcom said if Jeremiah was really who I wanted to be with, it was okay with him. I still held out for a couple more years because I felt like I was taking him from Mellcom, and I didn’t want to do that.
I gave in at twenty-one. The rest is history.
A heartbreaking history.
I slam my eyes shut to get those thoughts out of my head. They’re immediately replaced with the same ones I was having before that awful reminder came to me.
Ugh.
The only logical explanation I have is this is all my soul’s fault. Since it’s making a home in all four of them, that’s the one reasonable excuse as to why I’m emotionally and physically attracted to my whole Valtrue.
I can think of more excuses, but then I just feel like I’m doing something wrong by liking multiple men. It’s hard, though, and it’s making me crazy right now. Kyzen and Amick, I can give myself more grace about. I’m with the two of them more than the others and they make me feel different things for different reasons.
Creed and Riven, I don’t even want to examine.
They’re both incredibly wishy-washy and it confuses the hell out of me. One minute, Creed’s being all mysterious and sexy, even going as far as praising me in training. The next, he’s avoiding me like my soul is plaguing him.
Riven, I just never know. Most of the time he’s being flirty or an asshole. Sometimes he combines the two. I’ve seen glimpses of the other part of him, though. That’s a side I’d like to drag to the surface and explore every inch of.
I was so worked up when I stormed from the office, all I could do was hold my hand up to the three of them when I found them waiting literally a few feet from the door. It felt like I was taking the walk of shame.
Yemi could see it all over my face something was wrong. I couldn’t explain anything to her, Lambrit, or Rose as they each stared at me. I just told her I needed some time alone and to enjoy her day doing whatever she wanted.
I grip my pillow and attempt to smother myself with it. Not really, but I do hold it there to muffle my frustrated scream just in case someone’s here.
Gods, how am I ever going to be able to face them?
I just want us all to pretend I never busted in there asking what I asked.
A muffled shout reaches my ears when I stop my own shrieking. I lie still to listen for it again but sit straight up when I realize it’s not coming from within my house. It’s outside the back door.
I sling my legs over the side of my bed and creep toward the curtains.
“You’re going to the healing villas or telling her. Decide, Yemi.”
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do right now.”
Yemi’s high-pitched shriek at Havar has my body moving before I can even think it through. As soon as I sling my door wide, I hear her gasp from around the corner and when I round it, she turns her back to me.
“Havar, what the fuck are you yelling at her about?”
“Don’t come out here yelling at me, Thayla. This is partially your damn fault.”
“Stop it right now. It is not,” Yemi yells and my head twitches between them.
“My fault? I didn’t do anything. I’ve been in my room for the last hour.”
“Turn around and tell her, or I will.”
Yemi’s head drops low and my heart crawls into my throat. I want to cuss Havar all the way out for talking to both of us the way he is right now, but I’m not dumb. That’s not normal anger in his tone. It’s hurt, fear, and probably a touch of really being pissed.
Impossibly slow, Yemi turns. I see red.
It could just be because her eye is red and nearly swollen shut or it could be the fury coursing through me because of that. Probably both.
“Who the fuck did that?”
“I’m not talking about it if you’re going to freak out.”
Going to freak out? Going to? I already am.
I’m planning someone’s death.
Her unswollen eye says a thousand things. One of them being she means that. If I freak out, she’s going to go all silent mode on me, and I won’t ever get the truth out of her.
I take a deep, unhelpful breath. “I won’t freak out.”
Her shoulders slump in defeat and she sighs. “Rose was waiting to tell us together, but when you left, she went ahead and informed me the Attendants’ chamber in the Court was trashed again. It’s happened plenty of times, but it’s never mattered until now. So I decided to go and check to make sure your stuff and my spare clothes I put there weren’t messed with.
“When I left the Athenaeum, Havar and Collum were coming out as well and said they’d walk me, but I told them not to worry about walking in the Court with me. I’d be in and out.”
“I never should’ve listened to you.”
“Enough, just let me get it out.” She lays her hand on his trembling arm and looks back at me. “I…I do have an ability. I don’t want to talk about it right now, but I just want you to know I do have one and it’s easy to hide. I typically can use it to protect myself anytime I’ve ever been cornered, and I do to divert any really bad damage from being done. For the most part, it’s very undetectable, but since the Veiling and more power got released, it’s not so easy to hide if I let it out.
“When I got to the Attendants’ chamber, our stuff was fine, so I left, but as soon as I came out, I was approached. I knew what was about to happen and tried to keep walking, but they grabbed me. I panicked and let more of my power slip than I meant to. To the person who touched me, they thought I slapped them. I didn’t, but that’s probably what my ability felt like when it pushed against them. I finally reined it back in and well…yeah.”
She highlights her eye like that’s the result she expected, deserved. That response has my blood boiling even more and my ears ring, but I force my voice to stay steady.
“You’re okay otherwise?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. A black eye is nothing new. It’s just been a while.”
I grind my teeth painfully. “And who did this?”
“I really don’t want to tell you.”
“And I really don’t want to force it out of you, so please don’t make me, but this isn’t okay. No one should put their hands on you, Yemi. You did nothing to deserve this.”
“Please just tell us.”
“You haven’t even told him?”
“No. He has a big mouth and would’ve told you already.”
“Yeah, because she’s your fucking Attending God, Yemi, and can actually make a difference with this sort of thing. She can make it to where nothing happens to you without the other god facing consequences.”
“Yeah, and put herself in a position to face her own consequences, Havar. That’s what you’re not understanding. She actually has to train in that Court and go to the darker side of Godsden with those gods at her side. She has to face so much more already than either of us does and I’m not going to be the reason those gods turn their back on her.”
“Let me decide that for myself, okay?”
My question comes out as soft as I can make it. I’m literally giving myself bruises from pinching my arms so hard where they’re crossed over my chest just to force my feet to stay planted.
“You’re not going to do anything to get yourself in trouble, right? You’ll just wait this out and talk to your Valtrue about it first?”
“Yep.”
She sighs once again, either detecting the lie or she just doesn’t have the energy to continue to stand here and argue with Havar and me teaming up on her now.
“It was some of the female Defenders who cornered me. Mara did this.”
A blazing inferno burns through my entire body to the point I shake. Everything in me both goes numb and vibrates from the rage I feel. The paling and pleading on her face are the only things keeping me from snapping.
“Okay. Thank you for telling me. I’ll make sure to discuss this with Creed.”
She exhales sharply and smiles softly at Havar. “Thank you. See, it’s going to be fine.”
His eyes meet mine.
“Havar, will you get her comfortable? When the guys get home, I’ll talk with them, and we’ll walk you to the healing villas if the swelling hasn’t gone down. Is that okay with you?”
“Yeah. I just want to lie on my couch for now. I’ll go there later, though.”
“Sounds good. I’m going to go check and see if one of them came home already by chance. I’ll be over in a few to check on you.”
She nods, but I can’t look her in the eye very long. I force my legs to keep steady as I walk back through my door and I lean against it when I close it.
Deep breath, Thayla.
Deep breath. Keep breathing.
Nope. Not enough fucking air.
I’m through the kitchen and living room before my body truly realizes I’ve moved.
I see nothing.
I hear nothing.
My one-track mind is in full control and the burning in my blood forces me to move faster. Run.
The houses are a blur as I sprint by them. There may be people on the path. There might not be. I don’t know.
My legs eat the distance between my house and the Court as my mind races. Each thought has anger and something else building to a devastating degree inside of me.
How could she do that to Yemi?
I saved her fucking life.

It doesn’t matter that she hates me for whatever reason. You don’t fucking corner someone for no reason, then put your hands on them.
I don’t give the first shit that Yemi’s ability snapped out. Her power obviously knew it needed to protect her. I wish whatever it is would’ve fucked Mara up.
I would’ve handled the consequences of that. Just like I’m about to hand Mara her consequences for putting her hands on my friend.
The conversation and Creed’s warning that we had my first few days here about how I expected Yemi to be treated blares in my mind.
If you allow one to get away with it, they’ll all try.
My sprint finally slows as I enter the mouth of the tunnel that leads into the Gods Court. I tilt my head back to look at the mural of the Beginning Gods with their swords above me and flip them my middle fingers.
Fuck them too.
As soon as I exit the hall into the dirt center, my eyes devour the space. It doesn’t take me long to spot Mara and her friends huddled together right in the center.
My body vibrates with an intensity that makes me want to throw up. Heat flashes assault me as I stomp forward. Pins and needles shoot through every inch of me, and I can’t get my breathing under control.
I snatch the sword out of the hand of some waste of space male as he twirls it around, attempting to show off for some of the girls. I don’t spare a glance behind me as he yells to get my attention.
Gripping the handle with both hands, I take a few practice swings with it as my footsteps grow closer. It’s a little heavier than I’d like, but it’s manageable.
And it’s going to do some damage.
My voice comes out deep and deadly when I get a few steps away. “Mara.”
She turns with a sneer on her nose.
I relish the two seconds of fear that register across her features right before I swing the sword with every last drop of strength I possess in my body.
My blood hums as the strike across her face silences every voice in the entire Court. There’s a satisfying crack that echoes through the space. Whether it’s from the initial hit or something on her breaking, I don’t know. The bellow of agony that rips from her a millisecond later has a cruel smile twisting my lips.
“Don’t you fucking move or interfere.”
My voice growls as I point my sword at her friends when their shock wears off and they attempt to step toward either her or me.
I throw the wood at their feet. I won’t be needing it.
“Get up, Mara.”
She shakes her head, either telling me no or trying to shake the stars from her eyes.
“Get. Up.”
A furious groan leaves her lips as she grabs a handful of dirt and tries to throw it at me.
Fucking pathetic.
With a deep breath and a crack of my neck, I kick her straight in her stomach as she gets to her hands and knees. She rolls to her back, gasping for air, and I slowly sit myself right on top of her. Her fists pound against my chest, but I couldn’t feel them even if I wanted to right now.
Everything’s numb. Everything’s burning with anger.
I grip her wrists and fall forward until our noses almost touch.
“Tell me you know why this is happening, Mara.”
She gasps out a pitiful cough mixed with a laugh. “You’re so fucked. You don’t even know the number of rules you’re breaking right now.”
“I’m so sorry I gave you the impression that I give a single fuck. Now use your words like a big girl and tell me you know why you’re about to be made an example in front of all your little friends.”
I pull back a smidge so I can look down at her. Her eyes widen when she sees the possibly deranged seriousness on my face.
“Your Attendant hit me first.”
“No. Yemi attempted to get away from you and you cornered her because you knew you could. Unfortunately, you for some reason thought nothing would happen to you.”
Her body shakes beneath mine as she tries to buck me off, but I tighten my grip around her wrist and press my weight down more.
“I’m not someone you want as an enemy, Thayla.”
“You’re the one who put us in that position, Mara. I saved your life. I don’t mess with you in training. I’ve never had a problem with you. I never wanted to have issues with anyone here. But you have some weird-ass superiority complex and I’m going to adjust it for you.”
A humorless laugh leaves her lips, and she scoffs at me. “Good fucking luck. I’m going to make yours and your freak of an Attend—”
My fist lands across her mouth before she can finish that sentence. The skin on my knuckle splits instantly and my blood mixes with hers when I bring it down on her face again.
Over and over, I scream as I pound away.
I think about every wrong fucking thing about this Court as I take it out on her.
The Defenders are almost all bullies because this place has made them believe they’re better than everyone.
They treat the Attendants who have to hold a responsibility or role here like they’re moving targets or personal entertainers for their vile fucking games.
Gladian gives them all a superiority complex because of their Designation and because they hold the secret of the Abandon’s existence more than any other.
It’s wrong.
A shriek rips from my throat when a hand wraps around my wrist as I pull my fist back again. It’s like someone has wrapped a scorched bracelet around me and it tightens the more I resist.
“Thayla, fucking stop.”
Mellcom’s arms loop around my body as he pulls me off Mara. Jeremiah’s standing right in front of me with a dangerous twinkle in his eye. It’s his hand wrapped around me.
“Stop mov—”
“Release me. Now.”
My command thunders through the air. Not a second later, I’m dropped to my feet and my wrist is released. I don’t know who I want to hit first.
“What the fuck is going on in my Court?”
Jeremiah steps out of the way rapidly and Gladian’s face turns furious.
“I should’ve known it was you. I smell the trouble in the air. What are you doing in my Court right now?”
He takes three purposeful steps toward me, and I pull my shoulders back.
“Don’t you dare come any closer to me.”
He stops moving and his fists ball at his sides. His eyes blaze with an intensity that should have me backing off, but I can’t. His rage fuels my own and I prowl toward him.
“Let’s get a couple things straight right now, you gigantic, selfish, egotistical asshole. First off, this is the Gods Court, not yours. Learn that. Second, keep your crazy-ass Binder the hell away from my Attendant and me. Every time she even looks at one of us wrong, I’m going to beat her ass. Matter of fact, add those two to that as well. The next one of them who touches me, I’m getting the full force of my Valtrue involved.
“Lastly, take a long, hard fucking look at how you run this place. You’ve developed a godawful mentality and habits in these Defenders you’re training. Your methods are barbaric, useless, and build no sense of unity whatsoever. It’s going to hurt them in the end because shit is changing. And it’s going to continue to do so. Grow the fuck up, you ancient-ass child.”
My neck cranes back as I take a final step toward Gladian. Our eyes lock in a battle of wills. The vibrations that had been shaking the blood in my veins seem to pass into him.
The more he trembles, the less I do.
The rage-filled haze I’d been under slowly starts to dissipate, leaving a much more manageable and familiar amount pounding in my ribcage.
My head jerks back as he grabs a handful of hair at the base of my scalp. I screech as my nails dig into his arms and I pointlessly kick out at him. He snatches me so close to him, his hot breath fills my ear.
“You dare step foot in my Court, use your power on my Valtrue, and then on me, the God of Strength?”
I’m positive his bellow ruptures my eardrum, but not before I hear what he said loud and clear.
My power?
No. Can’t be.
I scream again as he jerks my hair until my knees hit the dirt. He’s one more tug away from breaking my neck.
I fucked up.
Fucked up royally.
“Get the post!”
In one hard pull, he has me on my feet. I trip over myself as I attempt to both keep up with him and get free of him. Mentally, I shout at myself to calm down and find my power again. Figure out how to do what I apparently just did again until I can get my ass out of here.
My fight flees me as my eyes fall on the large wooden pole that’s just been set up. My stomach tries to crawl up my throat as I scan the chains and iron rings holding them in place.
No.
Not again.
My days of whippings are supposed to be over.
“Gladian.”
I frantically search Mellcom’s face. That pleading tone has naïve hope rising in my chest. He knows better than anyone what this will do to me.
He’s one of the ones who caused this trauma and pain.
If men can leave scars, what can a god do?
“Don’t even try, Mellcom. I’ve let your sister’s mouth and actions slide far too many times. Creed gave his word he’d punish her each time she stepped out of line, and we see how much good that’s done for her. She will learn today.”
He what? He’s never.
Shit…every time he dramatically scolded me or carried me out of here…He was putting on a show.
Fuck.
“Get her on the post.”
Gladian slings me into Jeremiah’s chest with the force of a thousand stars. I’m met with a grip so painful I crumble into him more.
“Ah, it’s so sweet to have you back in my arms, sweet T. Where’s your little Valtrue now?”
I wish I knew. Why is Creed not here today of all days?
His mocking laugh makes my chest tighten, but I force myself to refrain from saying or doing anything. I know if I play into him, he’ll unleash on me more of whatever this painful ability is he has.
The tears are already welling in my eyes. It’d please him to no end to see them fall.
I wordlessly fall to my knees when he shoves me down and latches my wrist one at a time to the cuffs. I jerk my face away from him when he caresses my cheek softly. The movement makes me fall into a mournful abyss of green, but his stone-cold features say it all.
“I’ll carry you to the healing villas when this is all over, Thay.”
“I’d rather die right here in the dirt, thank you.”
Mellcom closes his eyes briefly. He doesn’t open them to look at me again as he pushes himself to stand and disappears from sight. I can’t help but peer over my shoulder, though, and watch as he walks past Gladian without saying a word.
My glare moves to him next. In his hand, he’s gently flicking a black whip at his feet. He raises it higher and sends it flying through the air. I stare in horror as power sizzles down its length, turning it gold as it goes. The cracking sound it makes has my body trembling.
“Open her shirt.”
No.
My heavy breaths fall fast as someone I don’t know steps up behind me and rips the back of my shirt open. The tattered material fans around me and the breeze that hits my skin chills the sweat dripping down my spine.
“Thayla Godrun. You will be punished before the gods and the Defenders for using your power against me, a Domain God, in the Court. Five lashes.”
His voice booms as far as the sun in the sky. The power radiating from it has me clenching the chains in a death grip. I squeeze my lids shut as panic sets in.
Don’t count the seconds. Don’t listen for the crack.
Don’t scream. Don’t cry. Don’t make a sound.
I gasp as there’s no avoiding the noise. I’ve never heard a crack so loud in my life. It’s louder than the madness in my mind.
First, it’s the sound. Then the ice. Then the heat. Then the realization.
All in sub-seconds.
My mind and body react at the same time. My back bows as a ground-quaking scream breaks free, loud and unrestrained. Tears that burn as much as the lashing spring from my eyes no matter how much I didn’t want them to.

My breasts become heavy and unsupported as the fabric of my bra snaps. With nothing standing in its way, the hot flow of my blood is immediate. It slithers down my spine and drenches my pants.
I don’t even get to take a breath before the second hit comes.
I fall against the pole for support as my stomach hollows out. My vision doubles as the pain is too much to bear. The memories, the reminders, everything bubbles to the surface. I sob as my body becomes heavy and slumps against the wood.
My chest jerks so hard in so many directions, it nearly forces everything in my stomach to follow.
I’m sorry for what I’m about to do.
As the third lash lands straight down the center of my back, crossing the two throbbing with agonizing pain, I grip my soul. I pull it toward me in hopes that I don’t make them fall to their knees but find me.
Please come for me.
The fourth lash slices across my lower back and my hips thrust forward as though they can run from it. It hurts to scream. My throat is raw and the tang of blood, sweat, and tears makes the burning sensation intensify to the point I don’t know if I’ll talk right after this.
Black spots dance across my eyes, but the sound of a familiar voice has me attempting to blink them away.
“What the fuck is going on?”
Creed’s voice thunders around me. It takes so much strength to lift my head, but when I do, my eyes collide with him where he’s standing at the arch entering the Court.
“You made it just in time. Your Binder’s learning a very valuable lesson.” The elation in Gladian’s tone is sickening and Creed’s eyes narrow dangerously on him as he takes calculated strides forward.
“What in the name of the Valories made you think you could teach her a lesson?”
“The fact that she came in here, powers blazing, and used them on my Binder. Then on me. She crossed the line.”
“And what pushed her to that point?”
He stops for just a moment at the post as he looks down at me.
My croak is pitiful. “Creed.”
He walks away. He turns his gaze and walks away from me. I swear what little piece of soul I have left withers.
“It doesn’t matter—”
“It does. Which Valtrue struck first?”
“She did. She came in here and attacked Mara.”
“Why?”
Silence hangs heavy in the air. I flinch as a voice calls out, then I cry when the movement causes my back to rip a little more.
“Mara hurt Thayla’s Attendant, Yemi. Mara claimed Yemi hit her first when she approached her.”
I force my head to rotate against my bicep as I follow the female’s voice. I close my eyes softly when I find her.
Why would you do that?
Why would she, as an Attendant, insert herself right now?
“It doesn’t matter,” Gladian shouts, silencing any murmurs and whispers. “I’m doing what you should have been, and that’s teaching your Binder her place. You should’ve been punishing her harder and you’ll finish it now. Then you’ll make sure she remembers.”
Everything inside of me goes cold. His command tethers to my soul and my lungs beg me to breathe.
I can’t.
The chains rattle when I force my shaking limbs to hold me up as I peer over my shoulder.
Creed’s dark eyes meet the begging in mine.
Nothingness stares back at me.
“How many lashes has she had?”
“Four of her five.”
“And you want me to deliver the last one?”
“That’s exactly what you’re going to do.”
He wouldn’t. He would never…
His face hardens and the clear decision across his features cuts through me. My breath hitches and my heart shatters with another betrayal. This one pierces me deeper than any other before despite the fact I’ve known him the least amount of time.
He holds a piece of me inside of him.
He’s always had the power to destroy it all.
Gladian shoves the whip into his chest, and he clutches it without ever taking his eyes from mine. A sob escapes me, but I cut it as short as I can.
No matter how close to the brink of death I feel, I won’t let him see me break anymore. I won’t let him see the fact that if he cracks that whip against me, he’ll seal our fate.
He grips the handle and lets the rest of the whip flow to the ground. The gold is replaced by black ripples that promise so much more pain.
I want to watch him do this to me.
Then again, I don’t.
I’m afraid if I do, I’ll never be able to hold his gaze ever again. Every second in each other’s company from here on out will be a fight. I need to be able to hold my own.
He hasn’t used the control he has over me other than to get my attention, but that doesn’t take away the fact he does have it, and he could do a lot worse. I can’t let him have the power to make me cower as well.
Decision made, I slowly close my eyes, making sure he sees the devastation he’s leaving behind. My forehead leans against the post, and I release a breath.
He’s going to break our entire Valtrue.
“Thayla.”
My name roars from three different voices as soon as the crack sounds.