average human’s Reviews > The Gods Veiling > Status Update

I lobe this oml

“I truly loathe admitting when Riven is right, especially when he’s being crude, but if this is what you want or need, all you have to do is tell one of us.”
“One of you.”
“Yes, the choice is yours.”
“And there lies the issue.”
My hand slips from her hip as she turns rapidly and opens my door. I’ve barely had time to dissect the meaning of her words before she’s slipped out of my office completely.
Unlike the normal jerking I’m unfortunately growing accustomed to, this tug is painful. It nearly steals my train of thought and understanding of the emotional issue she’s having.
I pull my door wide with the intention of finding her and finishing our conversation, but I’m bombarded as my brothers storm back in.
“What did you say, Amick?” Kyzen asks as Creed shuts the door. “She’d barely even look at us and told us not to follow her.”
“I got down to the bottom of her issue and why she was asking about dating.”
He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. “Would you just do us a favor and explain what happened when we stepped out?”
“I questioned her on why she was suddenly inquiring about romantic dating. It’s due to the fact living with us has caused her to become sexually frustrated. I offered my help, as well as any of yours, to alleviate that issue. It did nothing but cause a bigger dilemma.”
They each stare at me incredulously. As her Valtrue members, we should’ve noticed these signs sooner and have made her feel comfortable enough to say what it was she wanted.
“You did what?”
I cut my eyes to Creed. “You need to go to the healing villas and have your hearing checked. That’s the second time today you’ve asked someone to repeat themselves after they’ve spoken clearly.”
“It’s called shock, Amick. I was shocked by her asking us how we felt about her dating and I’m even more so by what you fucking said to her. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking our Binder is experiencing a lot of changes that she never wanted to experience. Many of which are completely out of our control. On top of that, her sexual needs aren’t being met, and she can’t have them met.”
Riven barks out a humorless laugh. “Why not? Because you said so? You don’t get to dictate that.”
“We, all five of us, have dictated it. Just now, the four of us made it clear to her we’re not okay with her engaging with other gods. She said that’s not even what she wants, but she now has the dilemma of choosing one of us. She made it clear to me, she won’t be doing that. Therefore, she won’t have her needs met. The three of you would be incapable of managing your jealousy if she were to ever do that and that would cause an irrevocable strain on our dynamic.”
“Oh, fuck you, Amick. Just because the three of us can actually experience emotions unlike you, doesn’t mean you’d just be okay with her being with one of us.”
My body heats at his insult. It’s usually easy to ignore Riven’s constant taunting, but the true anger in his eyes and malicious intent behind throwing my largest flaw in my face add to the discomfort I’ve been feeling since Thayla left.
“I may lack the ability to understand every single emotional response in others and myself, but that doesn’t mean I lack emotions completely. Nor do I lack the capacity to learn. I am learning. For her. I’d be able to control my jealousy. Do you know how?

90%
This is so heartbreaking. I love it.

The God of Strength hits his knees before me as his own whip latches around his throat.
Even though she looked away from me, I don’t move my eyes from her.
From her blood.
It’s a river cascading down her back.
Her tanned skin is no longer visible.
A pitiful whimper sounds through the air as my brothers reach her and begin freeing her. My soul tries to rip me to shreds. It’s a fucking war to force my feet to stay where they are.
My body’s been a battleground since the second I felt her soul wither in pain. I knew something was wrong. I knew she needed me. Needed us.
This isn’t what I thought I’d find.
I don’t even know now what I was fearful to see.
There’s a ferociousness flowing between the four of us right now. No doubt seeing her in this condition has briefly made my brothers forget that they felt that pull. That something inside of them forced them to come to her.
They’ll soon remember, though.
When she’s okay and out of this fucking Court.
She’ll never step foot in here again.
As Gladian relentlessly tries to get the whip from around his neck, I push more of my power and my eyes flare brighter. The natural pain my power can produce embeds itself in his weapon and grips him tighter.
I need to see every move they make with her.
I have to watch her leave that post.
Riven scoops her up with her chest pressed to his. She’s so limp, he has to wrap her legs around his waist for her, while Amick adjusts her arms. Kyzen gently pushes the hair out of her tear-soaked face.
The look of relief in her eyes when Riven pivots his body to glare at me is nearly my undoing. I’ve given her no reason to trust or not trust me. I’ve given her nothing but clipped words and vague information.
I told her to stay away. Quit pushing me.
It’s my own fault she thought I’d ever hurt her.
The second Riven gets a better grip under her thighs, he takes off running. There’s no doubt his harmony half is eating him alive, and he can’t resist but to make whatever’s going on inside of her better. There’s also no question that his chaos side is raging at that fact.
He and his power may hate it right now, but he’s the best man to get her out of here and to the healing villas. He can wrap his power around her and try to outweigh the pain.
Her small cry and the way her trembling hand stretches toward me make me see black. It’s like she’s trying to apologize for doubting my intentions. She has no reason to do that.
A small caress flows across her soul inside of me and I want nothing more than to latch onto it, seal it to mine for forever.
I won’t do that.
I refuse to ever do that to her.
The situation she’s in is bad enough. I won’t make it worse by letting my soul devour hers.
I finally turn to face Gladian as Kyzen and Amick take a side each of mine. His face is three shades redder but not near the color her back was.
“From this moment forward, you and your Valtrue are to have no contact of any kind with our Binder. She’s excused utterly and completely from responsibility in the Gods Court. Nod that you understand me.”
The deep baritone of Kyzen’s voice has the entire Defender designation stepping back.
Gladian tries his hardest to get out of the restraint I have him in, but it’s futile. I’ve gone easy. I’ve suppressed my abilities and allowed him to believe just because he’s the God of Strength he’s above me.
His pointless competition has gone on long enough.
I’ve allowed this so we could keep the peace. I wanted the freedom and flexibility to be elsewhere besides this Court day in and day out. Even after this is over, I still expect that. I don’t want or have any intentions to take his spot, but he’ll know after today where he stands with me.
“Answer my brother,” I command.
His glare narrows darkly as he scans the three of us. He offers only a minuscule blink, but it’s a recognition, nonetheless.
I take a knee in front of him and grab his jaw with my free hand. I force him to look into the depth of my eyes while I say my peace.
“Let it be known, Gladian, I’m sparing your life today for the simple fact I know I can’t take on the Beginning Gods. If not for them, I’d be taking your soul down to Hellveilious for laying your whip against my Binder’s flesh.”
I don’t smile at his bristling or the way his eyes widen with his fear. I get no pleasure from this, and I don’t say any of this to gloat. I mean every word from the darkest parts of my soul.
“If you’ve forgotten how you felt receiving that scar twenty years ago, then keep pushing us. We’ll remind you. I’ll show you what a kiss from death truly feels like. I don’t have to kill you or steal your soul for you to feel agony every day for the rest of your life. Remember that, Gladian, and inform your Valtrue.”
I stand, embedding my power deeper into his blessed object and killing off every drop of godly essence in it as I go. When I sense there’s nothing left but dry, brittle leather, I snatch it forward.
He crumbles to all fours while his weapon crumbles to pieces.
My heart hammers and body thrums with the desire to run straight for the healing villas, but I pull my shoulders back. With Amick and Kyzen at my side, we leave with our heads held high and make sure every Defender and god otherwise in here sees our unwavering place.
Our Valtrue, especially our Binder, is not to be fucked with.
I give in to my desperate desire as soon as we make our way out of the exit of the Court.
Kyzen and Amick sprint in stride with me the entire way to the healing villas. None of us speak until we race into the halls and find Riven pacing. Then we all talk at once.
“What’s going on?”
“Is she okay?”
“Who’s working on her?”
His eyes swirl like a fierce whirlpool coming from the depths in the Lost Sea. “She passed out as soon as we left the Court. I couldn’t get her to wake up. That one girl who almost gave her an orgasm and a couple of others are in there now. Is Gladian dead?”
“No, he’s not. You know I can’t do that, Riven.”
He releases a single, dark laugh as he takes a dangerous step toward me. “You can but didn’t.”
“You and I know good and well what me killing a Domain God would do. They’d strip our powers, possibly for good this time. Then we’d be easy pickings. Think with some fucking sense right now.”
His chest rises and falls. The rapid motion makes me look at his clothes. Even though they were chest to chest, her blood is still clinging to him. It’s everywhere.
That’s when I notice the trail on the floor leading under the door. The sight makes me sick and feral.
“What caused this?” Amick asks low.
I ball my fists so hard, the sound of my knuckles cracking echoes around us. “From what I gathered, it seems her power settled and unleashed in the Court.”
I grit out what I was told and what I assume happened. It’s easy for me to piece it together. Thayla’s nothing if not protective and ready to stand for what she believes is right in a heartbeat.
No one says anything, then Kyzen starshoots away.
I close my eyes to force them from white to gray. This situation is one with the power to push us all over the edge.
It isn’t a moment later, Kyzen is reappearing, escorting Yemi by her arm up to us with her cousin right behind him. Judging by her bruised face and only one fully opened eye, I’d say the blanks I filled in for what happened are spot-on.
“I’ll go do as you said when I know she’s not in any sort of trouble. Thayla said she was going to talk with you all, but you’re acting like Yemi’s about to be punished.”
“The only one about to be punished is you, Havar, if you don’t go get the fucking Veilatara and carriage I told you to. Yemi’s not in trouble. She’s about to get healed and tell us what happened. Now go.”
Very smart thinking on Kyzen’s part. Not that I’m surprised, but it occurred to him faster than it did for me that when Thayla can leave, she may not be able to walk. She’s not going to allow us to carry her through the Godsdawn, though.
There’s a tense beat of silence as the four of us stare Havar down and Yemi nervously takes in each of us. “Go do as he said, please.”
He sighs, glances at her, all of us, then her once more before turning on his heels and leaving.
Kyzen removes his hand from her arm and steps out of her space. “What happened today?”
She shifts nervously on her feet. “What did Thayla tell you?”
“Yemi, we just need you to please—”
“No, no, no. There’s no sense in coddling her, Kyzen. Dear sweet Yemi,” Riven singsongs, making her pivot anxiously toward him. “Whatever happened to you caused our Binder, your Attending God’s power to settle and come out in, I’m sure, a blaze of glory that we all missed. What we didn’t miss, though, is how her back was torn to shreds by Gladian’s whip. So you have three seconds to tell me what happened to you so we know if it was our Valtrue or theirs who stepped over the line first. Then I can react accordingly.”
Her face becomes horrified. It seems it’s at that second she realizes the blood on him, on the floor, and how Thayla is missing from this discussion. Her head shakes back and forth repeatedly as she looks at me.
“She told me she was going to talk to you, well, all of you, but you specifically.” Her voice trembles with her words. A couple deep breaths and clearings of her throat, she tells us everything that happened.
My blood grows hotter.
Mara was at fault, no matter how you look at it. She approached, cornered, and touched another god’s Attendant. As ridiculous and disgusting as the traditions surrounding the Designation have become, there’re still rules to follow.
She broke them and got what she deserved.
With that being said, I can assure you I’m a hypocrite. I couldn’t give a single fuck about all the rules Thayla broke after that. They each were a consequence of what Mara set in motion.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” all our heads turn toward Jay.
“Is she okay?” Kyzen asks.
“She’s…going to be okay. We’ve fixed the major damage, but her new skin is sensitive. It needs time to stitch itself together and I’m afraid she’s going to scar. If you can keep her from moving too strenuously, they’ll heal faster. She also lost a lot of blood. Had her power not settled…” She can’t finish her sentence as she clears her throat and shakes her head.
Yemi sniffles, but her face is set in a grim line. I smell the rage and guilt pouring off her. She has nothing to be guilty for, though. Mara would’ve done what she did no matter what. Thayla was going to react to that.
“She’s been heavily dosed with multiple powers and even some holistic remedies, but she’s not going to sleep. That’s what she needs most right now, but she’s refusing. She wants to speak with you.”
Her eyes settle on me and all heads turn toward me.
“Me?”
“Hopefully, if you speak with her, she’ll go back to sleep. She woke up the moment one of us touched her and stayed awake through the whole healing process.”
My feet are moving before my mind does.
Stubborn-ass woman.
The healing process isn’t always gentle and comforting. Some abilities don’t have the means to take away or block the pain such as this girl’s do. That’s probably why she was asked to join.
A phantom sucker punch hits me straight in the gut as soon as I step into her room. She’s lying on her stomach and her back has been cleaned up, but the four angry red lines are bright and glistening from the healing ointment they’ve slathered on her.
“We’ll step out and give you a minute.”
I don’t acknowledge the Healers as they go.
Slowly, my feet drag me to her bedside and my fingers flinch with the need to trace those lines. They even hover above them for a second, then they freeze.
Why the fuck is her back already scarred?
“I’m not dead yet. Please don’t stand above me like you’re reliving all our glorious moments together for the last time.”

I step in front of her turned head and crouch down until we’re eye level. “Don’t say dead yet. Ever again.”
“I’m starting to think you and the Healer girl like playing with my emotions. Her power tried to give me an orgasm again, but it didn’t work. You look like your heart’s broken. I really can’t tell if you’re ready to get rid of me or keep me forever.”
I swallow roughly at her small voice. She’s trying so hard to lighten the mood, but her multicolored, gorgeous eyes don’t look like the stain glass they usually resemble.
If someone threw a brick through our living room window, shattering all the pieces across the floor, then that’s what they’d resemble right now.
“Did I hurt them?”
“Who?”
“Amick, Kyzen, Riven…you. Did I hurt any of you when I pulled on my soul?”
My chest tightens unbearably at the remorse in her eyes. “No, you didn’t hurt any of us. After you get some rest and heal, I’ll explain exactly what pull means what and how to do each of them.”
“Does that mean you’re not trying to evict the pieces of me any longer?”
“I don’t know anymore. Regardless, until we know what’s best for you, for all of us, you have a right to know these things.”
A slow tear travels out the corner of her eye and over the bridge of her nose. She doesn’t move to wipe it away. That shit slices me open.
“Don’t tell them without me. Make sure I’m awake and present for the conversation, please.”
I slowly dip my head. “I won’t tell them without you.”
“Also, don’t leave me here. I don’t want to stay here nor in these clothes. My blood’s pulling tight against my ass where it’s stuck to my pants, and it’s pissing me all the way off. Let Amick change and clean me up.”
Her words are starting to slur, but she’s fighting the drowsiness with all her might. I don’t know if it’s fear of being left alone in here or if she’s still just too worked up. One way or another, she has to sleep.
She has to let her body heal.
Impossibly slow, I reach my fingers toward her face. She doesn’t flinch from me, and her eyes don’t widen in fear. They gently close as I wipe her tears away and lay my palm on her cheek.
“Go to sleep. We’ve got you, and we’re going to take care of you, Thayla.”
“I’m sorry, Creed. I fucked up.”
“No, you didn’t. You did something none before you have ever been brave enough to do. You stood for what was right.”
A small whimper passes through her lips when she moves. I watch as if we’re in slow motion as she lays her hand against mine. I don’t budge, breathe, or do anything until I know she’s finally asleep.
“I’m sorry, Thayla. I’m sorry I didn’t get there faster. I’m sorry I didn’t put Gladian in his place before this. The four of us have been living in fear that with any wrong move, our power will be stripped and we’ll end up in his clutches again. We’ve grown used to watching the wrongness from a distance and not interfering. We won’t let you down like this again. I won’t keep you in the dark any longer.”
I push myself up and gently remove my hand. I lay hers back where mine was and watch as her back rises in measured breaths. The want to both run from this room and also crawl in bed beside her is strong.
I don’t do either. I turn from her and head out the door.
“The healing process is different for everyone. Since her power just settled, it could take longer.”
“You’re a fucking Healer, but obviously not a very good one if you can’t just heal it all right now.” Riven grunts at the male Healer I’m vaguely familiar with from rotations.
He does a good job at keeping his face blank and not feeding into my brother. “If this had been much more minor, such as a broken bone, poison, even surface-level lashes, that’d be the case. Two of her injuries split the skin to her shoulder bones. The other two were deep within the tissue and caused her bleeding to intensify. Stitching the area and growing new tendons, muscles, and skin is no easy feat. It can’t be rushed, or it could cause even more problems. Possibly even leave her susceptible to reopening the wounds repeatedly. I assure you, we did everything within our power that we could.”
None of us miss the importance he put on the word power. He doesn’t have all of his. None of those in the healing villas do. The Healers I know off the top of my head that do spend more time in Godsden than here.
Anger brews in my heart. There should be just as many Healers with the same amount of power as Defenders. What’s the fucking point of having such powerful beings if you don’t have anyone to heal them?
Everyone should just have all their gods damned powers.
“We’re taking her home. Jay, you may come to our home and check her as needed. She’ll heal there,” I declare and they all just now notice I’ve stepped out of her room.
“Is she still awake? What did she say?”
“She’s sleeping. We’ll talk when we get home. Is Havar back?”
“I’ll go check,” Yemi says softly, turning and practically running for the door. She has two fully opened eyes now.
“It’d really be wise—”
“I’ll keep an eye on her and retrieve one of you at the first sign you’re needed, but she won’t be staying in here alone.”
He presses his lips into a thin line. “There won’t be room in the carriage for her to lie comfortably. One of you will need to hold her chest to chest just like she was brought in. It’d be wise to keep her from lying on her back for at least the night.”
“Understood.”
“Then she’s free to go.” He and the other Healers walk away. Jay bows slightly and tells us to please come get her if needed. We each tilt our heads in response, which she seems shocked by.
“Well, I’m going to head to the house and get out of these clothes. The little burden has left me a bloody mess.”
“Riven,” Amick barks, but he just wiggles his fingers and starshoots out.
Fuck. That isn’t good.
He’s deflecting hard right now, and I’m tempted to pray that he doesn’t do anything stupid.
“He’s outside,” Yemi calls as she steps back into the hall.
The three of us nod and go into Thayla’s room. The sight of her catches them by surprise just as it had done me, but they collect themselves quickly.
“Let Amick hold her. She asked that he get her cleaned up and changed when we get home.”
Amick moves right to her side without a word. Kyzen and I step up and help him get a proper hold on her.
“What else did she say?”
“We’ll talk about it when she’s awake.”
“Creed—”
“Drop it, Kyzen. Her specific request was for us not to talk about anything until she was present. I’ll honor that and so will you.”
The blue ring in his pupils flares. His annoyance and concern are obvious, but he bites his tongue as he interferes with time. We step out into the hall and Yemi gasps as she gets swept up in his power as well. The next time she blinks, we’re already seated in the carriage.
She and Havar stare in horror at Thayla’s back while I watch how gentle Amick is. He adjusts his hold on her with such delicacy it makes my throat close. The words that came from him only hours ago run through my mind with a wildness.
He’d be good for her. She’d be great for him.
How am I supposed to take away the thing that’s causing these changes in him?
“Yem.”
“Don’t. Just don’t. This is exactly why I didn’t want her to know. This is why I told you repeatedly not to say anything. I didn’t want you, or her, or anyone to face consequences for me. Now look at what’s been done to her.” She doesn’t remove her glare from Thayla’s back despite the glistening in her eyes.
Havar leans forward, pressing his elbows to his thighs and covering his mouth with his fist. They’re both shaken and it’ll only make things worse when she wakes up.
“When she wakes up and sees both of you, you won’t act like this. You’ll thank her for what she did, and you won’t apologize for anything. You acting like this is your fault will make her feel like her response was wrong and it wasn’t. It also wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Your own response wasn’t wrong. You are a God, Yemi, with a secret ability, and it’s time you start remembering that.
“She’s the first Attending God I’ve seen stand up for her Attendant to that degree and I didn’t even actually witness it. What I walked into in the Court and the condition Mara was left in was proof enough she made many things clear. So…I don’t give a fuck about either of your feelings at the moment. I care about her waking up and knowing what she stood for was right. Am I understood?”
Their mouths gape open at me like they’re surprised I spoke. It’s not an unusual response, but it’s one I don’t have the patience for right now. My brow draws down in warning and they straighten their shoulders. They agree just as the carriage rolls to a stop.
Kyzen hops out first, leading and guiding Amick down the stairs as he slowly makes his way forward. None of us look back at the other two.
The house feels just as depressing as we do. The silence is suffocating, and I never thought I’d be looking forward to some smart-ass remark greeting me as I came home.
“Creed, would you make me some tea…please?”
My head slowly turns until Kyzen and I lock on each other. The shock of hearing please come from Amick’s lips as he slowly lowers himself to the couch with Thayla splayed across his chest has me frozen in time.
I clear my throat and shake my head. “Uh, yeah. Kyzen, you want to help him?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
We move mindlessly. I get busy fixing all of us a mug, while Kyzen pulls the ottoman closer and helps Amick lift his legs. I’m not sure if Riven is still in the shower or not, but I prepare him one as well.
Kyzen sits on one side of them and I take a seat on the opposite couch. I plan to stay right here until she opens her eyes again.
“I have a discomforting sensation in my chest. It’s been present since our Pairing and it always has to do with her.”
“What? So do I,” Kyzen says as he sits up straight, glances at Amick, then at me. “What about you? Has Riven said anything?”
I take a large gulp of tea and let the heat settle inside of me. “We’ll talk when she wakes up.”
They both stare at me, but I stare at her.
My internal war continues to clash with the forces of the Beginning Gods. Nothing is as it was a month ago. No answer seems like the right one anymore.
To remove her soul from them, I’m afraid would change them in a devastating way. To leave it will leave her as a shell of herself, eventually.
But maybe it won’t. It hasn’t seemed to change her yet.
What happens if it gradually does?
Am I helping or harming her by keeping her soul separate from mine?
I don’t fucking know.
I don’t know, but I know I’m not willing to gamble with her life like that.

92%

“Psst, psst, torch lamps, have you any oil?
Yes, Riven, yes, Riven, three lanterns full.
One for the frontside, one for the back,
And one for every single fissure and crack.
Psst, psst, torch lamps, will you burn so bright?
Yes, Riven, yes, Riven, till the morning light.”
My giggle travels through the air as I skip around Daddy Gladdy’s house. How lucky he and his Valtrue are to have such a secluded area away from all of us poor weakling gods.
Amick’s going to revoke my permission to enter his room when he realizes I’ve stolen some of his torch lamps.
Worth it.
I can’t wait to see this baby go BOOM.
The oil I dump around the perimeter of their house smells dreadful. I have to keep pausing my humming to sneeze. It’s really fucking my mood off and taking the enjoyment out of this.
Never fear, though, I push through it.
“Whipitty, dropitty, drip,
The god pulled out his whip.
The whip struck four,
The angel ran red.
Whipitty, dropitty, drip.
Drip, drop, drip, drop.
The angel’s blood never stopped.
The god touched what’s mine,
So I touch what’s his.
Whipitty, dropitty, drip.”
On my end note, I spin in a circle and throw the lamp on top of their roof. I clap and cheer as the glass shatters to pieces. The shards tumble down everywhere and the remaining oil slithers over the shingles.
I cover my mouth with my hands as I laugh, but the vile ignitor gets on my tongue and takes away the taste of Thayla’s blood I licked off my fingers.
I can’t have that.
I flip my arms around, looking for another spot where I’m wearing her red.
It’s so beautiful.
The perfect shade matches my skin tone.
It’s quite a challenge to get my mouth to reach the underside of my forearm, but no worries, I prevail.
“Now, where was I? Ah, yes, finishing touches.”
My melodies continue to play in my mind as I reach my hand in one of my waist bags for my signature powder. I wore two accessory bags and a backpack for this situation. You can never be overprepared.
My hands become black as I grab my little concoction and start sprinkling it everywhere. I dance and toss.
Dance and toss.
All the while my chaos weaves into the walls, breaking down any barrier they may have in place. Their essence can’t stop me and my tainted bastard child blood.
I’m not sure why the majority of gods look at us Plentifuls as nothing more than animal lovers and tree huggers. Our plants and minerals provide us with the most amazing things that can go boom.
Well, not me in particular. Just because it’s my Designation doesn’t mean I can do any sort of growing on command.
My dick can actually.
Anywhos…I know those who can grow the useful stuff, and they provide me with the best of the best.
Dust in a little chaos to those creations and we have ourselves a party.
I can’t help my pout when I reach in again and find my bag already empty.
I sigh. Even experts make mistakes sometimes.
Nonetheless, I push on.
The steps that lead up to the porch they have are a cute touch to their home. From my other bag, I pull out adorable vials to decorate them with. They each glow different colors and when they blow up, they’re going to make the fire different colors.
It’s going to be gorgeous.
Just like my little burden is.
The nonstop thoughts of her make my eye twitch and my melody becomes daunting. I viciously shake my head and plaster my smile back on my face as I walk up to the door and knock.
It’s not polite to just show up to someone’s house uninvited, but they’ll have to forgive my poor visiting etiquette today.
I rock back and forth on my feet for a second, then knock again.
Still, no one comes.
“Well, I guess they’ll just miss the show.”
Rude. I went through all this hard work.
I spin around, preparing to jump off the steps, but halt as my smile widens and I hold my arms out for a hug.
“Big DD, you’ve come to see my show.”
He beckons me forward with a smirk on his face and I jump into his arms. “Hello, Riven, my boy. Paying Gladian a visit, I see.”
“Well, I was planning on it, but it seems he hasn’t made it home yet. Hopefully, he’ll return in time to see my surprise.”
“I can smell your surprise.”
“Oh, it’s dreadful, isn’t it? I should’ve brought some flowers to cover that up. Next time.”
He squeezes my shoulder and stares into my mismatched eyes. I’m sure the colors aren’t identifiable, but he knows which one usually matches his. “Yes, next time.”
“As much as I’m thrilled for our reunion, pops—perfect timing by the way—I’m not as ignorant as Amick likes to make me seem. Have you come to join me or stop me? I need to know so I know which song to sing next.”
He drops his hands from me and smiles softly. “Neither. I just came to check on you.”
“Check on me? Why would you do such a thing after all these years?”
“I’ve always kept an eye on you, but when you and your brothers declared you wanted space, I honored that…from afar. Today I just wanted to lay my eyes on you.”
“Eye. We both know that one barely works.” I chuckle when I point to his black eye, then clear my throat. “That was rude. I do apologize. There’s nothing for you to check on. I’m fantastic.”
“I believe you mean chaotic. Your chaos is spreading for miles around, dear boy.”
My lips stretch across my face. “Is it, really? That’s impressive.”
“It most certainly is. I’m very proud, but I need you to draw some of it back in before I do it for you, Riven.”
My eyes narrow. “So you’re here to stop me. Are you even aware of what happened today?”
His face both softens and twists. That’s a new look. I kind of like it.
I’m going to try it out for myself.
“Yes, I’m aware. That’s why I’m not here to stop you. Unless you want all the gods to realize the amount of power I released for you and your brothers, though, you need to pull it back in some.”
My shoulders slump in defeat. “If I pull it back, my other side will shove its annoying ass through, then my fun will be over.”
“I’ll tell you what. You pull your own back and I’ll sprinkle a little of mine in to keep your harmony half at bay until your party is over. How does that sound?”
My smile returns. I’m pretty sure Kyzen got his communication skills from Derivius. They have such a way with words.
“Fine, I’ll agree to that.”
“Splendid. Where would you like for us to stand?”
“Oh, I brought myself a chair,” I say as I sling my backpack off and pull out my folding seat. Nifty little invention by the nonmagical mortals. They had grand ideas. I wonder what they’re up to these days. “I didn’t expect company, though, so I only have one.”
“That’s quite all right. I’ll stand.”
He lays his hand on my shoulder and leads me closer to the tree line. His finger taps me to the beat of my hum, and I smile happily.
Just like old times.
“This should be far enough. I’ll have an amazing view from here.”
I shimmy my ass in my seat and get comfortable. Big DD nods at me and I pull some of my power back. It’s a little depressing, but as his familiar chaos joins in on my fun, I sigh in contentment.
“Do we want a gradual burn or a big boom? Oh, that’s a silly question. We’re going to blow this motherfucker up.”
Derivius attempts to hold his finger up at me, but I’m already lighting the match to the cloth I stuffed in another one of my mixtures. My laugh has the poor defenseless animals behind me screeching, but my cheering drowns them out.
My flaming bottle goes sailing through the air and I kick my feet as I count the seconds.
My heart pounds in an erratic rhythm when the glass shatters against the side wall of the house. Everything within me comes to life as the flames spread instantly with the impact.
I wiggle my fingers, weaving my chaos around the fire and moving it toward the front.
Blue, lime green, pink, purple, and red explode outward and inward. The crash of the front door bursting off its hinges and all the windows erupting with clouds of rainbow smoke have me standing.
I clap and bow simultaneously. “Bravo. That was—whew.”
I snatch Derivius by his shoulder and duck us down when what looked like a pan goes flying over our heads. It’d seem my explosion hit the kitchen first.
We look toward the forest, then at each other. Then we die laughing.
It’s a chaotic symphony that makes my heart happy.
The sounds taper off after a while as I plop back down in my chair, pull out a snacky from my pack, and watch my masterpiece burn.
“Are you feeling better?”
“What do you mean? I’ve felt amazing this whole time.”
He sighs softly and once again lays his hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t you dare do it.”
“I don’t want to, you know that. You’re hiding behind your chaos right now, though, Riven. If you can’t contain it, I’m going to have to.”
My body trembles in rage and I grind my teeth. “Why do I always have to be contained or set loose?”
“You know good and well that’s not what I meant.” He bends in front of me, blocking me from enjoying my show. “What happened to Thayla—”
“Don’t say her name.”
He exhales harshly. “What happened to her today is affecting you and you’re responding the way you know how. That’s fine. To an extent. After Gladian’s house burns down, then what, my boy? You still have to see him and his Valtrue. As well as her. You’ll have to face her. Those marks aren’t going to go away.”
“I’ll tell her she’s never allowed to take her shirt off.”
“That won’t make them go away.”
I stare through him.
He’s killing my mood.
I command some of my chaos to come to me and it settles begrudgingly in my belly. “There. Happy? I’d like to be alone now. I vow not to destroy Godsden today.”
“It’s not Godsden I’m worried about. It’s you destroying yourself and her. Don’t let this side take over.” He squeezes my knee and stands. “I’ll go cause a distraction for the Goddess of Illusion. Maybe keep them from having a new house by the end of the day. I’m only a call away if you need me, son.”
I flick my wrist at him, dismissing him. “Yeah, yeah. Love you, mean it, bye.”
He breathes I love you back, but I ignore him and stare at my blazing glory. It’s not as spectacular now that he’s yanked me from my high.
Some fucking reunion that was.
Clarity is already finding its place back in my mind and I sneer.
When the chaos is in control, I don’t fret over my thoughts, my emotions. I go with the flow and be one with the moment. When it’s not, and I’m just normal, or even worse, harmonized, I have to face reality.
I don’t want to do that.
She makes me do that, and she doesn’t even realize it.
I’ve already had to do that once today for her. If I let my mind think about it too much, I can still feel her hot blood seeping between my fingers.
I started my run with my hands under her thighs but realized as soon as we made it out of the Court, she couldn’t hold herself around me. I had to adjust.
One arm cupped under her ass so I could balance her and my other hand rested at her lower back right underneath a lash.
Her blood poured through my fingers, down her pants, and onto my arm. That’s how much she was bleeding.

My harmony half shot through me, vying to make her better. Fix her. Her soft sobs were ripping me in two. I’ve never been more grateful than I was when she passed out.
Her quietly cried, “Thank you for saving me,” sent me over the edge.
My two halves collided like enemies at war.
The side that craves her, thinks about her nonstop, fought with a ferocity I’ve never felt before.
It won.
But only momentarily.
My favorite side pushed through once she was out of my arms and I was out of her room. That side is the smart side. It knows no one could ever understand, tolerate, or truly want us.
My own flesh and blood barely do.
Rarely, the two sides live peacefully inside of me. It’s been happening more with her around, and it’s petrifying.
I don’t think I like the feeling of peace.
I did like the way her body felt pressed to mine, though.
No, I didn’t.
Uh, I kind of did.
I call my chaos back out and let it surround me. I’ll abide by what Derivius asked of me and not let it pour out of me, but not at the expense of my own comfort right now.
I won’t sit here and dwell in my thoughts while there’s a beautiful view burning in front of my eyes.
I’ll sit in my blissful, purposeful ignorance, for a little while longer.
“Hey, diddle diddle, chaos and the killer,
An angel flew over the stars.
The two scared gods fought against her pull,
But knowledge and time will heal her scars.
Hey, diddle diddle, chaos and the killer.”