Desiree’s Reviews > A Demon's Guide to Wooing a Witch > Status Update

"You're an arrogant, volatile prick, and you drive me insane."
"Same.”
"You're a conceited know-it-all."
"Takes one to know one.”
"Your cane sword is tacky, and you have horrible taste in hats.”
"Take that back."
"Make me.”
"Why would I do that when you can just take what you want?"

"Get your hands off her?
"Astaroth, it's fine."
"Is it, though?“
"Easy, mate. Don't you think that's a bit possessive for someone not dating her? You aren't dating, right? Just two sworn enemies on a quest, she said."
"And she's my sworn enemy, not yours.”

“If I was six hundred years old or whatever, Id probably have a massive body count, too. I guess you get good at it after that long."
"Oh, I was good at it from the start. Why, looking for tips?"
He'd gladly give her some. Or literally the tip, should she express interest.

A familiar female voice danced over a rhythmic guitar line. Astaroth nodded along. He didn't realize he was quietly singing until Calladia gasped.
"Wait. No way."
"I don't know how I know the song. It's just familiar. Maybe there's an amnesia exception for music?"
"Not that. You're a Swiftie?"
"Is that a species? We've already established I'm a demon."

"You'd be fearsome on a battlefield, too. Eviscerating enemies right and left with that sharp tongue."
"I'm going to eviscerate you with more than my tongue if you don't shut up and let me drive."
"Very well. My vow of silence begins now."
"How long will it last?"
"At least... two minutes."
"Don't make me gag you."
"Kinky. Will you tie me up, too?"
🤣🤣

"You think you’re the victim. You, who tried to take Mariel's soul. Who threatened Oz with a sword. Who tried to ruin their lives to win a bet."
"I have a sword?
"That's what you care about?"
"What kind of sword?"
"Hopeless. You are absolutely hopeless."
"Any idea where it is?"
"Up your ass.”
"How unsafe."

I’m loving them 🤣🤣

“Why had his past self chosen to make an enemy of her rather than seizing the opportunity to use those thighs as earmuffs?” 🤣