Zana’s Reviews > The Odyssey > Status Update

“He grasped the bow and stood astride the threshold, and he tried to string it, but he failed. His hands were soft, untrained by labor, and he grew worn out trying to pull it back.”

Soft hands, soft hands. Brother you got soft hands

‘“...Let me give him a welcome gift, so he can give gifts to the bath attendant or some other house slave here in the palace.” Then he grabbed an ox-foot from the basket, and he hurled it 300 towards Odysseus, who smoothly ducked, bowing his head, and smiled in scornful rage...’

Me earlier: I fucking hate Odysseus

Me now: KILL THESE DAMN SUITORS, ODYSSEUS!!!!

‘“Stranger! Are you still here, still causing trouble, with begging and annoying those inside? I promise you a beating if you stay! Your begging is not welcome! This is not the only place in Greece where there is food.”’

These goddamn goat herders... WTF is their issue???

‘And then Melantho scolded Odysseus again. “Hey! Stranger! Will you keep causing trouble, roaming round our house at night and spying on us women here? Get out, you tramp! Be happy with your meal! Or you will soon get pelted with a torch! Be off!”’

We got slaves shitting on homeless people too damn

Bro why are the beggars (Odysseus in disguise and an actual beggar) fighting while the suitors are goading them on??? 😭😭 It's giving UFC match on the white house lawn

‘Antinous said, “Haha, you big show-off! You would be better dead than so afraid of some old man worn down by suffering. If this man beats you, proving he is stronger, I will toss you on board a ship and send you off to King Echetus in mainland Greece, the lord of cruelty and pain. He will cut off your nose and ears with pitiless bronze, and then your genitals, and he will give them raw to his dogs to eat.”’

Bro???

‘Sharp-witted Odysseus drew back from him and said, “You handsome idiot! You would not give a grain of salt from your own house. You sit enjoying someone else’s food, and yet you will not give a crumb from this great banquet to me.” Antinous was furious, and scowling said, “That does it! You insult me? You lost the chance to leave with dignity!” He lifted up his stool and hurled it at Odysseus’ right shoulder...’ omg

‘Antinous replied, “What god imposed this pest to spoil our feast? Stay over there, not near my table—or you can get lost! Get killed in Egypt or enslaved in Cyprus! You barefaced beggar! You come up to us, 450 and these men give you treats unthinkingly; we have so much, and people do not mind sharing another person’s wealth.”’

👁️👄👁️

‘Antinous began to scold the swineherd. “Pig-man! You famous idiot! Why did you bring this man here? Do we not have already plenty of homeless people coming here to spoil our feasts? Is it not bad enough that they crowd round and eat your master’s wealth? You had to ask this other one as well?”’

So RPattz really wasn't exaggerating 🫠

“Twenty years had passed since Argos saw Odysseus, and now he saw him for the final time— then suddenly, black death took hold of him.”

Argos babyyyyy 😭🐕