Zana’s Reviews > The Odyssey > Status Update

‘Antinous said, “Haha, you big show-off! You would be better dead than so afraid of some old man worn down by suffering. If this man beats you, proving he is stronger, I will toss you on board a ship and send you off to King Echetus in mainland Greece, the lord of cruelty and pain. He will cut off your nose and ears with pitiless bronze, and then your genitals, and he will give them raw to his dogs to eat.”’

Bro???

‘Sharp-witted Odysseus drew back from him and said, “You handsome idiot! You would not give a grain of salt from your own house. You sit enjoying someone else’s food, and yet you will not give a crumb from this great banquet to me.” Antinous was furious, and scowling said, “That does it! You insult me? You lost the chance to leave with dignity!” He lifted up his stool and hurled it at Odysseus’ right shoulder...’ omg

‘Antinous replied, “What god imposed this pest to spoil our feast? Stay over there, not near my table—or you can get lost! Get killed in Egypt or enslaved in Cyprus! You barefaced beggar! You come up to us, 450 and these men give you treats unthinkingly; we have so much, and people do not mind sharing another person’s wealth.”’

👁️👄👁️

‘Antinous began to scold the swineherd. “Pig-man! You famous idiot! Why did you bring this man here? Do we not have already plenty of homeless people coming here to spoil our feasts? Is it not bad enough that they crowd round and eat your master’s wealth? You had to ask this other one as well?”’

So RPattz really wasn't exaggerating 🫠

“Twenty years had passed since Argos saw Odysseus, and now he saw him for the final time— then suddenly, black death took hold of him.”

Argos babyyyyy 😭🐕

“The master gone, boys took the puppy out to hunt wild goats and deer and hares. But now he lay neglected, without an owner, in a pile of dung from mules and cows—the slaves stored heaps of it outside the door, until they fertilized the large estate. So Argos lay there dirty, covered with fleas.”

Argos nooooo 😭😭

“And in my father’s house there was a woman from Phoenicia—tall and beautiful and skilled in many arts. Those clever rascals tricked her. One of them first found her washing clothes beside the ship and lay with her. Sex sways all women’s minds, even the best of them.”

👁️👄👁️

“I cried out, ‘Curse her! Zeus has always brought disaster to the house of Atreus through women. Many men were lost for Helen, and Clytemnestra formed this plot against you when you were far away.’

At once he answered, ‘So you must never treat your wife too well. Do not let her know everything you know. Tell her some things, hide others....’”

Not sure if I wanna listen to Agamemnon for marriage advice

“What a dreadful death! My men were systematically slaughtered like pigs in a rich lord’s house for some feast, a wedding or a banquet. You have seen many cut down in war in thick of battle, or slaughtered in a combat hand to hand; but you would grieve with even deeper pity if you could see us lying dead beneath the tables piled with food and wine. The floor swam thick with blood.”

Agamemnon in OG red wedding???

“I saw fine Epicaste, Oedipus’ mother, who did a dreadful thing in ignorance: she married her own son. He killed his father, and married her. The gods revealed the truth to humans; through their deadly plans, he ruled the Cadmeans in Thebes, despite his pain. But Epicaste crossed the gates of Hades; she tied a noose and hung it from the ceiling, and hanged herself for sorrow...”

She killed herself???