Cristina Ionela’s Reviews > Ține-ți copiii aproape: De ce părinții trebuie să conteze mai mult decât anturajul > Status Update

Anxiety dumbs us down, lowering our functional I.Q. Being alarmed affects our ability to focus and to remember. Anxiety makes it difficult to read the cues and follow directions. A child simply cannot learn well when feeling lost and alarmed.

Intentions are greatly undervalued. The prevailing sentiment in our society is that intentions are not good enough, that only
appropriate behavior is to be accepted and applauded […] Good intentions are like gold: intention is the seed of values and the precursor of a sense of responsibility.

…parents should never lie to their children. Lies, however innocently intended, cannot protect a child from pain. There is something in us that knows when we are lied to, even if that awareness never reaches consciousness.

We become afraid our children will get stuck and never grow up. Perhaps we think that if we don't push a little, they will never leave the nest. Human beings are not like birds in this respect. The more children are pushed, the tighter they cling-or, failing that, they nest with someone else.

We need to give children something to grasp, something to hold dear, something they can take to heart and not want to let go of. Whatever we provide must come from us or be ours to give. And whatever we give our children, the key is that in holding on to it, they will be holding on to us.

If we appreciated the powerful feelings sexuality can unleash, we would be appropriately nervous at the outset. Sex should be both revered and feared, evoke both anticipation and apprehension, be a cause for both celebration and caution.

The psychologically immature are incapable of thinking of anything but the pleasure of the moment. To make good decisions, one must be capable of feeling both fear and desire simultaneously.

Without a functioning trigger in the brain for alarm a person's impulses to attack are likely to erupt in violent forms.
The impact of alcohol illustrates this relationship. The sense of alarm that holds aggressive impulses in check is numbed by alcohol…

Only when the futility sinks in and we apprehend on the deepest emotional level the impossibility of preserving physical and emotional contact with someone forever gone from our lives do the tears come and adaptation begins. This process may take years.

We often learn to hide our tears as adults, but the impulse to cry is hardwired to feelings of futility…

The tears of futility are set off by different neurological circuitry and are psychologically unique…

They are accompanied by a shift in energy: a backing-off from trying to change things…

They signal that the brain truly apprehends that something is not working and must be let go of.