TypOnomIcon’s Reviews > Jake's Magical Market > Status Update

The writing overall improves during part 2. Worth sticking through the weaker chapters if you find the ideas interesting.

Deep-seated. Seated. Get an editor, man. The world and ideas are so cool, but this is a tough read at times. I feel like I’m reading a 2nd draft. Stop telling me how you feel and show me so I can be immersed, Jake.

I’m enjoying the system, and the premise/world building scratches a DCC itch for me. Jake is pretty annoying. Jury is still out on the cast on the whole.

Immediately doesn’t need to be after every action done with urgency and purpose, my friend.

Enjoying the mix of elements that make this up so far, but the prose is rough. A lot of unnecessary words and clunky sentences already, needs an editor.