Figgy’s Reviews > Hexes for the Modern Age: Contemporary Curses for the People Who Irritate You the Most > Status Update

May all the cords to your electronics become entangled in a massive death coil.

May you forget your brother's Netflix password, and may he not respond to your frantic texts about it for, like, twenty minutes.

May you always get "selected" for extra screening.


I always am!

May you continue to find sand in strange places weeks after your vacation.

May you never be able to tell if the milk has gone bad until after you've poured it on your last remaining bit of cereal.

May your roommate always put things back in the most random-ass places when they unload the dishwasher . . .
. . . and may you always wonder if they just do that on purpose so they don't ever have to unload the dishwasher.

May there always be something in your teeth that no one has the decency to tell you about.


Haha, the venn diagram and image with this one is actually pretty funny.

May you always miss a spot on the back of your thigh when shaving your legs.


Oh... you guys... I think someone must have hexed me... This happens ALL the time, and not always so excusable as the thigh... often on my calf or lower legs.

May you finally see Bigfoot and be unable to take a photo because your phone is out of space.

May your horoscope always say that amazing things are coming . . . next month.