Jyvur Entropy > Status Update
Jyvur Entropy
is starting
Not a great start. Very unnatural dialogue, where characters rehash crap they JUST did. Wayyy too much description of what sounds like a very generic hipster coffee joint. Coffee snobbery is obnoxious. Drinking coffee without sugar is not a personality
— Jun 28, 2021 05:05PM
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Jyvur Entropy
is on page 6 of 362
lots of disjointed body parts doing stuff-"my hands do x" my "feet do y"-a good editor should have caught this
— Jun 28, 2021 05:34PM
