Eliabeth Hawthorne’s Reviews > Husband Wanted: Will Train > Status Update
Eliabeth Hawthorne
is 8% done
Really don't like the character list at the beginning. Thought I was about to read a play. I'd rather learn that information from the story than try to keep names straight without meeting the characters. Started a sentence with And.
— Jul 04, 2015 12:39PM
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Eliabeth’s Previous Updates
Eliabeth Hawthorne
is 68% done
Quite a few sentences start with And or But. One sentence fragment. Very little description or world building. Everything feels hurried and glossed over, like someone summarizing an event instead of the author painting the scene and characters with depth. "show don't tell."
— Jul 06, 2015 06:29PM
Eliabeth Hawthorne
is 41% done
I am thankful that my family loves me more than the idea of me. I never have to lie to live up to their standards.
— Jul 04, 2015 06:32PM
