Tab’s Reviews > A Year With Swollen Appendices > Status Update

‘Masturbation - hanging on to the only thing you can rely on.’

“On the beach watching topless French ladies with huge wobbling sousaphones of bumfat, wishing I could hear them fart. Saw a hermit crab.
Caught a wasp and made it tipsy.”

‘At the photo session the make-up girl (quite inadvertently) gave me a weird all-day horn. Very sweet face, nice eyes and magnificent bottom - its glorious, wobbling, kissable softness entirely undisguised by the loose long dress, her attempt not to appear ravishingly rude.’

Okay Eno u married freaking freak

im halfway through brian eno’s year

‘in ireland i rarely get an erection (though i was swimming nude the other morning, fully erect, and that was tremendous - almost non sexual, like a muscle being flexed). it must be something to do with all that catholicism in the air.

‘…saw the ultimate domina - 5 ft 11ish, long black hair, black jeans and huge wide arse.’

christ almighty married man

I love canonizing basquiat appendix entry Awesome fucking meditations on art so far

‘How excitingly dominant these wealthy, healthy, modishly dressed and highly perfumed German ladies look! All German history - at least form Goethe to the Nazis - transmutes in them into a statement of sexual power.’

Why are you casually getting your kid a computer for her 5th birthday

Why does he keep talking about how attractive other women are