Tab’s Reviews > A Year With Swollen Appendices > Status Update

‘Masturbation - hanging on to the only thing you can rely on.’

“On the beach watching topless French ladies with huge wobbling sousaphones of bumfat, wishing I could hear them fart. Saw a hermit crab.
Caught a wasp and made it tipsy.”

‘At the photo session the make-up girl (quite inadvertently) gave me a weird all-day horn. Very sweet face, nice eyes and magnificent bottom - its glorious, wobbling, kissable softness entirely undisguised by the loose long dress, her attempt not to appear ravishingly rude.’

Okay Eno u married freaking freak

‘in ireland i rarely get an erection (though i was swimming nude the other morning, fully erect, and that was tremendous - almost non sexual, like a muscle being flexed). it must be something to do with all that catholicism in the air.

‘…saw the ultimate domina - 5 ft 11ish, long black hair, black jeans and huge wide arse.’

christ almighty married man

I love canonizing basquiat appendix entry Awesome fucking meditations on art so far

brian eno notices that japanese people are looking less japanese these days (what does this meeeeean)

‘How excitingly dominant these wealthy, healthy, modishly dressed and highly perfumed German ladies look! All German history - at least form Goethe to the Nazis - transmutes in them into a statement of sexual power.’

Why are you casually getting your kid a computer for her 5th birthday

Why does he keep talking about how attractive other women are