Zana’s Reviews > Pushin' Cushions > Status Update

“Mmm you’re so fucking tight. You want this big cock stretching that virgin seam? Huh? Is that what you want, you dirty little davenport?”

...I need to take a break 😐😐😐

"Oh yeah, this couch wanted to be bred.

In fact, he swore he could hear it begging for him."

But how....

"Dennis had adjusted his technique over those years at college, but his carnal love for the couch never waned. [...] Just filthy pleather, filthier fantasies, and pumping endless amounts of cum into the surprisingly absorbent core of his dorm’s communal seating."

Bro what 😐😐😐😐

"[...] but Dennis knew to the marrow of his bones what was to blame for his college-long dry spell: feminism."

Bro what

"[...] FINFUCKERS apparently led to Finance Bro porn, rather than his favorite human-dolphin content creator, FINFUCKERZ. The Z made all the difference."

🐬🐬🐬

"...hatred of cats, hatred of childless women that adopt said cats, s*xual penetration of furniture (flashback and present), divorce, dubc*n, dirty-talking (to a couch), slut-shaming (the same couch), light BDSM (couch spanking)..."