Status Updates From Pushin' Cushions

37 pages long.
Man fucks couch and then couch swallows him up and swaps places with him - the end

If you read my updates just ignore the next few, I’m doing what I have to do to meet my goal

Where do I find this ishh??? Couldn’t tell you. I will say this did crack me up with its little parody of the info that came out about the VP elect this election

happy election night y’all 🫡

What’s that saying about curiosity & the cat? Well anyways, here I go.

political satire at its smuttiest lolol

“Mmm you’re so fucking tight. You want this big cock stretching that virgin seam? Huh? Is that what you want, you dirty little davenport?”

...I need to take a break 😐😐😐

"Oh yeah, this couch wanted to be bred.

In fact, he swore he could hear it begging for him."

But how....

"This was a classy couch, wrapped in buttery soft top grain leather that had just the right amount of texture. The dorm couch had been a habitual fuck of frenzied convenience, some trashy secondhand pleather thing with rips and tears that were practically begging for it."

🥴🥴🥴🛋️

"Dennis had adjusted his technique over those years at college, but his carnal love for the couch never waned. [...] Just filthy pleather, filthier fantasies, and pumping endless amounts of cum into the surprisingly absorbent core of his dorm’s communal seating."

Bro what 😐😐😐😐

"[...] but Dennis knew to the marrow of his bones what was to blame for his college-long dry spell: feminism."

Bro what

But Dennis was a man now, with a man’s couch to fuck, and by God was he going to.

"[...] FINFUCKERS apparently led to Finance Bro porn, rather than his favorite human-dolphin content creator, FINFUCKERZ. The Z made all the difference."

🐬🐬🐬

"...hatred of cats, hatred of childless women that adopt said cats, s*xual penetration of furniture (flashback and present), divorce, dubc*n, dirty-talking (to a couch), slut-shaming (the same couch), light BDSM (couch spanking)..."

"technical furniture v0re"

HAHAHAH this is just as wild as the door book except the couch hasn’t come alive

He called the couch a double-stitched slut

I never would have thought you could have breeding kink with a couch, but here we are.

It's Kristina's fault that I'm reading this. 😂