Quintessentially C’s Reviews > Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It > Status Update

At this point I feel like I might have gone into this with an open mind but I’m coming out radicalised.

….so, while there may be a genetic predisposition to certain behaviors like aggression, the environment and socialization absolutely shape how these traits are expressed. In this sense, aggressive tendencies in boys can, and often should, be socialized out of them, just as they are in girls.

Reeves makes a strong point in this chapter that I 100% agree with. The issue with black men isn’t inflexibility like I mentioned previously. Black men have always been at a disadvantage. Now with more resources being given to help women in general & thus by association Black women, Black women have now narrowed their gaps in education and employment, while black men still suffer from the same systemic issues.

Chapter 3 thoughts: “Men are unable to fufill the traditional breadwinner role nor step into new one”
He proposes that we redefine the role of the father. Sure let’s do that. Are the fathers willing to be redefined?

Expectations of women homemaking may have eroded but the husband’s breadwinner norm persists. True. In this I see how there’s a collective issue.

Yes men lower down the ladder are struggling but when systems have always been designed to favour you, the idea of adapting can feel unnecessary and maybe even demeaning.

Chapter 2 thoughts: I like that he mentions that we should encourage men into HEAL jobs because again it comes back to adaptability. Women’s willingness to take on any job (albeit leading to the pay gap) isn’t always a choice. It’s a necessity to keep up with their male peers. This flexibility, a core trait that men lack is what is giving them the upper hand.

Chapter 1 thoughts: What the author fails to expand upon here is the ‘aspiration gap’ he mentioned. Men are accustomed to systemic privileges and do not feel the urgency women do to adapt and excel and it is their complacency that results in falling behind. It’s not just about equipping men. They need to overcome the mindset of loss and adapt to a world that privilege alone no longer guarantees success.