Chloe Seager > Quotes

“EVIDENCE: Heed my warning. DO NOT make life decisions that will actually affect your future based around someone you like. Even if you think you may ‘love’ them. It is not worth it. You will end up like me. I am doing a whole extra AS level because I am an idiot .”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“I like YOU! I’ve liked you since before hitting puberty! Since before dinosaurs walked the Earth! Since before the old Taylor Swift died!”
― Chloe Seager, Friendship Fails of Emma Nash

“How do YOU want to greet him?!”

“By licking his neck?”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Where do you think Britney Spears would be now if her mum hadn’t pushed her to keep singing at a young age?!”

“Probably a lot calmer, happier and more stable.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“I actually think women are generally very discreet about the whole thing (e.g. Gracie, who obviously bleeds rainbows). If guys bled out of their penises for a week of every month, you can bet we’d hear more about it.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“So you spoke to Laurence Myer?”
“Oh, no. I added him though. We’ve achieved virtual friendship.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“PROS: I'm not nice. I'm not not pretty, when I bother to brush my hair. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of rubbish TV shows. I have a blog, too, though it's mainly dedicated to self-pity, and it never results in cake.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“She nodded and smiled, but I could feel that she was slightly disappointed in me. Like Ms Parker when I answer every question in English with ‘It’s a metaphor for desire.”
― Chloe Seager, Friendship Fails of Emma Nash

“I know for a fact that he regularly steals from self-checkouts and sticks his gum underneath desks. Those are not the actions of a moral person.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Oh my God. Why did he only have a semi?! Do I not merit a full erection?”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“IT SLAPPED MY HAND. I’ve been rejected by the penis.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Yes, the smiley at the end makes everything better. Much less scary.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“Will Jess be OK with that?”
“Having a phone without a passcode is practically an open invitation.”
I can’t argue with that kind of logic.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“She's somewhere in the darkness. Just follow the smell.”
― chloe seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“I’ve fostered a substantial, almost protective affection for this particular group. These aren’t just any fifty people I don’t care about, these are my fifty people I don’t care about.”
― Chloe Seager, Dating Disasters of Emma Nash

“If a PLL fan has had enough drama then you KNOW it’s been enough drama.”
― Chloe Seager, Friendship Fails of Emma Nash

“If someone sent a text or even an email to break up with your mate you’d be like, What a dick. But no one can moan too much about receiving bad news via a letter, can they? It’s on paper. Someone wrote it with their hand, like Shakespeare or Kate Middleton, so it must be legit.”
― Chloe Seager, P.S. You're the Worst

“As it turns out, not being distracted by constant Snapchats from Steph means I’m actually getting lots of stuff done. I bet having a fight with her best mate is how Coco Chanel got started.”
― Chloe Seager, Friendship Fails of Emma Nash

“I still cannot believe Gracie is all right with this. It’s a miracle. I’m sort of expecting it to be a big ruse and tomorrow Steph will wake up with meat in her bed spelling ‘Judas’.”
― Chloe Seager, Friendship Fails of Emma Nash

“Evidence: Online connections do not necessarily entail real-life connections. Especially when you’ve e-tweaked yourself a little bit.”
― Chloe Seager

“Evidence: Face-to-face break-ups are ALWAYS a necessity. Even if you have communicated with a person almost solely through the internet, it does not eliminate the need for them. And even if you weren’t properly going out with them in the first place.”
― Chloe Seager

“I feel weird and not at all like myself, like Stefan Salvatore when he gets the taste for human blood after 150 years.”
― Chloe Seager, Friendship Fails of Emma Nash