Abhijit Naskar's Blog - Posts Tagged "life-purpose"
Why do we crave for social approval
Nobody is immune to social conditioning or as people like to call it, social programming. Which means that everybody is vulnerable to this process of social programming - to social pressure. But the question that we are interested in here is why? Why do we crave for acceptance from the society? Why do we crave for approval of the society.
Unless a person has some sort of pathological condition that makes the person unable to create a healthy bond between the self and the society, everybody has the urge for being accepted by the society, by the community, by the environment - to look for approval from others. So, what is the reason that we look for approval from others, from the people around us? The reason is that we are not wired to be loners. We are social animals. Being in a community makes us stronger. And that's the faculty that actually enabled our ancestors in the jungle to survive against the forces of nature - against predators and all sorts of wild obstacles.
So we built communities, but it's not enough to build communities. The members in that community must have a neurological bond with that community - they must have a craving to belong to that community. You cannot just gather some people and say, this is my community. They must feel that they are part of that community in order for the community to survive against all odds, which at that time, that is, in the kingdom of the wild was rather imperative.
So being in a community means we are psychologically wired to feel that we are part of that community, which brings along an innate craving to be accepted by others in that community - by the majority of that community - to look for approval in everything that we do from others in that community - to look for appreciation for our actions - to look for appraisal from others, for our achievements, for our successes.
In the wild, it worked well. And even today it keeps a people together. That's okay. So it is not completely harmful, but what is harmful is that this very trait has also a negative side and rather devastatingly negative side negative aspect, which is that this craving, this social conditioning often compels a person to go against his or her own passion, his or her own uniqueness to be accepted by the society. So the person ends up doing what the society wants instead of doing what that person really wanted to do in the first place, whether it is about living life, whether it is about achieving a certain goal, or anything else.
In the end, the majority of people end up achieving the goals that a society wishes them to achieve as members of the community. And the same goes for wishes, the same goes for desires, the same goes with behaviors, the same goes for thought thinking - the same goes with emotions and feelings and sentiments and ambitions and so on. So we ended up living secondhand lives. We end up living lives of mindless machines - we end up living lives of slaves of the society instead of living the life that we want.
If a person is happy with living the way that the person is living while following the norms of the society, then that's completely fine. But if the person has to completely change himself or herself to follow the norms of the society, then that's dangerous and downright inhuman because all the progress that we have attained so far as a species took place because of the handful of so-called misfits who had the courage to go against the societal norms, to follow their dreams, to follow their passions, to follow their own original thoughts and ideas and inklings and passions.
In short, rules and norms of a society do not ensure progress. In fact, the rules that the society creates are there to ensure security, not to ensure progress. To ensure progress, one must first sacrifice security to achieve something that nobody has achieved ever before - one must have the guts to turn a blind eye to the mockery, the criticisms, the disapprovals of one's society. Only by doing this can one achieve what that person really wants for himself or herself. This doesn't mean rebelling against society violently or aggressively - it simply means paying no attention to the society's selfish expectations, instead, the person must focus all their attention, all their energy on the one idea that is most important to them - to that one dream, that one passion, that one purpose.
Unless a person has some sort of pathological condition that makes the person unable to create a healthy bond between the self and the society, everybody has the urge for being accepted by the society, by the community, by the environment - to look for approval from others. So, what is the reason that we look for approval from others, from the people around us? The reason is that we are not wired to be loners. We are social animals. Being in a community makes us stronger. And that's the faculty that actually enabled our ancestors in the jungle to survive against the forces of nature - against predators and all sorts of wild obstacles.
So we built communities, but it's not enough to build communities. The members in that community must have a neurological bond with that community - they must have a craving to belong to that community. You cannot just gather some people and say, this is my community. They must feel that they are part of that community in order for the community to survive against all odds, which at that time, that is, in the kingdom of the wild was rather imperative.
So being in a community means we are psychologically wired to feel that we are part of that community, which brings along an innate craving to be accepted by others in that community - by the majority of that community - to look for approval in everything that we do from others in that community - to look for appreciation for our actions - to look for appraisal from others, for our achievements, for our successes.
In the wild, it worked well. And even today it keeps a people together. That's okay. So it is not completely harmful, but what is harmful is that this very trait has also a negative side and rather devastatingly negative side negative aspect, which is that this craving, this social conditioning often compels a person to go against his or her own passion, his or her own uniqueness to be accepted by the society. So the person ends up doing what the society wants instead of doing what that person really wanted to do in the first place, whether it is about living life, whether it is about achieving a certain goal, or anything else.
In the end, the majority of people end up achieving the goals that a society wishes them to achieve as members of the community. And the same goes for wishes, the same goes for desires, the same goes with behaviors, the same goes for thought thinking - the same goes with emotions and feelings and sentiments and ambitions and so on. So we ended up living secondhand lives. We end up living lives of mindless machines - we end up living lives of slaves of the society instead of living the life that we want.
If a person is happy with living the way that the person is living while following the norms of the society, then that's completely fine. But if the person has to completely change himself or herself to follow the norms of the society, then that's dangerous and downright inhuman because all the progress that we have attained so far as a species took place because of the handful of so-called misfits who had the courage to go against the societal norms, to follow their dreams, to follow their passions, to follow their own original thoughts and ideas and inklings and passions.
In short, rules and norms of a society do not ensure progress. In fact, the rules that the society creates are there to ensure security, not to ensure progress. To ensure progress, one must first sacrifice security to achieve something that nobody has achieved ever before - one must have the guts to turn a blind eye to the mockery, the criticisms, the disapprovals of one's society. Only by doing this can one achieve what that person really wants for himself or herself. This doesn't mean rebelling against society violently or aggressively - it simply means paying no attention to the society's selfish expectations, instead, the person must focus all their attention, all their energy on the one idea that is most important to them - to that one dream, that one passion, that one purpose.
Those Who Call You Mad (The Sonnet)
Those who call you mad will one day worship you,
For no great achievement is possible without madness.
Those who laugh at you will one day learn from you,
For working through the laugh is a criteria for greatness.
Those who know not you exist will one day seek your guidance,
For your endless sacrifice will make you a beacon.
Those who find you absurd will one day bow in veneration,
For the absurd ideas take us to the most breathtaking destination.
Those who look down on you will one day look up to you,
For your sacrifice will place you on a pedestal of glory.
Those who are deaf to you will one day cross limits for you,
For your voice will echo in the hearts as a purifying symphony.
Those who see you inconsequential will one day pay you homage.
Breathe your mission, live your mission and your acts will forge fate's foliage.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Mad About Humans: World Maker's Almanac
For no great achievement is possible without madness.
Those who laugh at you will one day learn from you,
For working through the laugh is a criteria for greatness.
Those who know not you exist will one day seek your guidance,
For your endless sacrifice will make you a beacon.
Those who find you absurd will one day bow in veneration,
For the absurd ideas take us to the most breathtaking destination.
Those who look down on you will one day look up to you,
For your sacrifice will place you on a pedestal of glory.
Those who are deaf to you will one day cross limits for you,
For your voice will echo in the hearts as a purifying symphony.
Those who see you inconsequential will one day pay you homage.
Breathe your mission, live your mission and your acts will forge fate's foliage.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Mad About Humans: World Maker's Almanac
The Empowered Sonnet | Gospel of Undoctrination
Woman empowered is civilization empowered.
Dream empowered is progress empowered.
Parents empowered is children empowered.
Teachers empowered is future empowered.
Don’t defund the police, use those funds,
To send the officers to behavioral therapy.
To have an understanding of justice and order,
We must have a grip over our impulses and biases.
Discrimination don’t disappear if we shut our eyes,
Each of us must live as an antidote to discrimination.
Ignorance doesn’t become knowledge when peddled by scripture,
Better burn all scriptures if they peddle hate and division.
To conquer our biases and stereotypes is to conquer inhumanity.
To expand our heart beyond assumption is to empower humanity.
Dream empowered is progress empowered.
Parents empowered is children empowered.
Teachers empowered is future empowered.
Don’t defund the police, use those funds,
To send the officers to behavioral therapy.
To have an understanding of justice and order,
We must have a grip over our impulses and biases.
Discrimination don’t disappear if we shut our eyes,
Each of us must live as an antidote to discrimination.
Ignorance doesn’t become knowledge when peddled by scripture,
Better burn all scriptures if they peddle hate and division.
To conquer our biases and stereotypes is to conquer inhumanity.
To expand our heart beyond assumption is to empower humanity.
Humans Are Defined (The Sonnet) | Mücadele Muhabbet
Vegetables are defined,
By the comfort they crave,
Humans are defined,
By the obstacles they brave.
Absence of obstacles,
Is not a sign of achievement.
Absence of obstacles,
Indicates a lack of movement.
Even the mountains bow,
But not for self-absorbed snobs.
Oceans part making way,
Only for those not afraid of storms.
Awake, arise o soldier of valiance and valor.
Sleep not, slacken not, the world is in your care.
By the comfort they crave,
Humans are defined,
By the obstacles they brave.
Absence of obstacles,
Is not a sign of achievement.
Absence of obstacles,
Indicates a lack of movement.
Even the mountains bow,
But not for self-absorbed snobs.
Oceans part making way,
Only for those not afraid of storms.
Awake, arise o soldier of valiance and valor.
Sleep not, slacken not, the world is in your care.
Never Planned (The Sonnet) | Sermon of Sustainability
I never planned to be a poet,
I never planned to be a writer.
I never planned to be a scientist,
I never planned to be a philosopher.
I never had any plans whatsoever,
As to what I was going to be.
As a vagabond I only had one inkling,
That is to equalize the society.
Now that I am a scientist,
Logic comes to me like clockwork.
Now that I am a writer and poet,
Words and rhymes come like lovewalk.
The path appears itself as you start to walk.
Means flow like heartbeat in all purposeful work.
I never planned to be a writer.
I never planned to be a scientist,
I never planned to be a philosopher.
I never had any plans whatsoever,
As to what I was going to be.
As a vagabond I only had one inkling,
That is to equalize the society.
Now that I am a scientist,
Logic comes to me like clockwork.
Now that I am a writer and poet,
Words and rhymes come like lovewalk.
The path appears itself as you start to walk.
Means flow like heartbeat in all purposeful work.
To Those Who Mean Well (Sonnet From A God) | Vande Vasudhaivam
For every single dreamer of the world who keeps struggling for their dream, despite being ridiculed and patronized by inferior, bronzeage apes every step of the way.
“To Those Who Mean Well
(Sonnet From A God)
Dear vermin of the greedy gutters of earth,
I permit you to live as your whims may dawn.
I just wish, expired cigarette butts wouldn’t
show the moronic audacity to advise the sun.
I don’t hate you for your life of greed and filth,
But the most you are gonna get from me is pity.
Apes who are alien to the concept of accountability,
Are no more significant than a termite community.
With all your googling expertise, how about you
spend some data researching the term “ambition”!
Know your place, my dear armchair intellectuals,
Chimps should speak only when spoken to by a human.
To you who mean well,
your death is the end of your story.
My death is the beginning of a legend.”
“To Those Who Mean Well
(Sonnet From A God)
Dear vermin of the greedy gutters of earth,
I permit you to live as your whims may dawn.
I just wish, expired cigarette butts wouldn’t
show the moronic audacity to advise the sun.
I don’t hate you for your life of greed and filth,
But the most you are gonna get from me is pity.
Apes who are alien to the concept of accountability,
Are no more significant than a termite community.
With all your googling expertise, how about you
spend some data researching the term “ambition”!
Know your place, my dear armchair intellectuals,
Chimps should speak only when spoken to by a human.
To you who mean well,
your death is the end of your story.
My death is the beginning of a legend.”
More Important Than Truth (The Sonnet) | The Pastor Who Never Was
In the beginning even I was,
Bedazzled by the concept of truth.
It took me some time to,
Step across the lure of truth.
That is when I realized that,
Every brain creates its own truth.
So we’d never achieve harmony,
With the heartless pursuit of truth.
Understanding the definition of truth,
May differ from person to person.
But the virtues of basic goodness,
Need no divisive interpretation.
Always place love first, truth second.
Humanity first, intelligence second!
Bedazzled by the concept of truth.
It took me some time to,
Step across the lure of truth.
That is when I realized that,
Every brain creates its own truth.
So we’d never achieve harmony,
With the heartless pursuit of truth.
Understanding the definition of truth,
May differ from person to person.
But the virtues of basic goodness,
Need no divisive interpretation.
Always place love first, truth second.
Humanity first, intelligence second!
Give Me A Keyboard, I’ll Give You Revolution (The Sonnet) | Abhijit Naskar | Yaralardan Yangın Doğar
I just want to write –
that’s all I ever want –
to write, write and write!
The day the words stop coming,
will be my last corporeal night.
Either I shall die by an assassin’s bullet,
or I shall die on my keyboard,
but I refuse to die of old-age and disease.
Death scares those who are scared of life,
I have already lived my life in service.
I live on keyboard, I’ll die on keyboard,
Keyboard is my instrument of illumination.
Nothing short could satisfy my palate –
Give me a keyboard, I’ll give you revolution.
With my keyboard I’ve defended the meek,
With my keyboard I’ve castrated the pricks.
With my keyboard I’ve brought down dictators,
With my keyboard I’ve schooled bigoted pigs.
With my keyboard I’ve raised Gods by hundreds,
With my keyboard I’ve delivered world-builders.
With my keyboard I’ve produced hatebusters,
With my keyboard I’ve raised bulldozers.
Death is but a myth – body dies, not bulldozer;
Body is merely a vessel for the mission.
If you want your ideas to live forever,
You gotta sacrifice your life for a vision.
I never lived as body, but only as a dream –
My life is testament to the dream of united earth.
I don’t have a message, for I am the message –
Sacrifice is beacon, that illuminates the universe.
that’s all I ever want –
to write, write and write!
The day the words stop coming,
will be my last corporeal night.
Either I shall die by an assassin’s bullet,
or I shall die on my keyboard,
but I refuse to die of old-age and disease.
Death scares those who are scared of life,
I have already lived my life in service.
I live on keyboard, I’ll die on keyboard,
Keyboard is my instrument of illumination.
Nothing short could satisfy my palate –
Give me a keyboard, I’ll give you revolution.
With my keyboard I’ve defended the meek,
With my keyboard I’ve castrated the pricks.
With my keyboard I’ve brought down dictators,
With my keyboard I’ve schooled bigoted pigs.
With my keyboard I’ve raised Gods by hundreds,
With my keyboard I’ve delivered world-builders.
With my keyboard I’ve produced hatebusters,
With my keyboard I’ve raised bulldozers.
Death is but a myth – body dies, not bulldozer;
Body is merely a vessel for the mission.
If you want your ideas to live forever,
You gotta sacrifice your life for a vision.
I never lived as body, but only as a dream –
My life is testament to the dream of united earth.
I don’t have a message, for I am the message –
Sacrifice is beacon, that illuminates the universe.
I’m Impossible (Sonnet 1272) | Abhijit Naskar | Bulletproof Backbone
I don’t need to play word games,
to say, impossible means I am possible;
my existence is epitome of the impossible.
I don’t make plans, I make purpose,
then the purpose plans me, into unstoppable.
Does that mean, loneliness doesn’t bother me,
Of course it does – it makes the torture worse.
Anybody who says, they enjoy loneliness,
is either lying or plain narcissistic retard.
But then again, just when I feel super gloomy,
I remember my responsibility to my world family.
Time and again, my purpose drags me out,
Electrifying my veins with incorruptible duty.
¡Viva la humanidad, viva la familia mundial!
Long live humanity, long live world family!
Whenever you are down, take refuge in purpose;
Your purpose will reawaken your invincibility.
to say, impossible means I am possible;
my existence is epitome of the impossible.
I don’t make plans, I make purpose,
then the purpose plans me, into unstoppable.
Does that mean, loneliness doesn’t bother me,
Of course it does – it makes the torture worse.
Anybody who says, they enjoy loneliness,
is either lying or plain narcissistic retard.
But then again, just when I feel super gloomy,
I remember my responsibility to my world family.
Time and again, my purpose drags me out,
Electrifying my veins with incorruptible duty.
¡Viva la humanidad, viva la familia mundial!
Long live humanity, long live world family!
Whenever you are down, take refuge in purpose;
Your purpose will reawaken your invincibility.
Cup of Coffee (The Sonnet) | Abhijit Naskar | World War Human: 100 New Earthling Sonnets
A cup is just crockery
till there is coffee in it.
A head is just a skull
till there’s a mind in it.
Clothes are just fabric
till there’s a character in ’em.
Shoes are just footwear
till there’s a journey in ’em.
Chest is just a bunch of bones
till there’s a heart in it.
A body is just a bag of flesh
till there’s a being in it.
till there is coffee in it.
A head is just a skull
till there’s a mind in it.
Clothes are just fabric
till there’s a character in ’em.
Shoes are just footwear
till there’s a journey in ’em.
Chest is just a bunch of bones
till there’s a heart in it.
A body is just a bag of flesh
till there’s a being in it.
